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Step parent adoption

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K

keanse19

Junior Member
North Carolina,


We are trying to get my daughters biological father to sign the papers, the bad thing is, he is being very difficult, he has not seen or talked to her in over three years, he says he doesn't want to rush his decision but he has two other kids and the only way that we communicate is through e-mail. My husband and i Have sent and filled out the papers and do not have to have some one come visit us in our home being that we have been married for two years now. What I wanted to know is how can he adopt her without the biological father signing the papers and it not costing a fortune.( Like running an ad in the paper?)
 


S

Silverplum

Senior Member
keanse19 said:
North Carolina,


We are trying to get my daughters biological father to sign the papers, the bad thing is, he is being very difficult, he has not seen or talked to her in over three years, he says he doesn't want to rush his decision but he has two other kids and the only way that we communicate is through e-mail. My husband and i Have sent and filled out the papers and do not have to have some one come visit us in our home being that we have been married for two years now. What I wanted to know is how can he adopt her without the biological father signing the papers and it not costing a fortune.( Like running an ad in the paper?)
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Likely, you can't.

You also probably can't do it without an attorney. This WILL be expensive.
 
G

Gracie3787

Senior Member
keanse19 said:
North Carolina,


We are trying to get my daughters biological father to sign the papers, the bad thing is, he is being very difficult, he has not seen or talked to her in over three years, he says he doesn't want to rush his decision but he has two other kids and the only way that we communicate is through e-mail. My husband and i Have sent and filled out the papers and do not have to have some one come visit us in our home being that we have been married for two years now. What I wanted to know is how can he adopt her without the biological father signing the papers and it not costing a fortune.( Like running an ad in the paper?)
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You can't run an ad in the paper because you know the father's whereabouts.

Since the father is refusing to sign, your only option is to take the matter to court. If you can prove that the adoption is in your child's best interests, the court MIGHT order an involuntary TPR and allow the adoption.
However, you really should hire an attorney to have the best chance of prevailing in court.

Does the father pay CS? If he does, you can try using that as a bargaining chip- let him know that he won't have to pay CS anymore once the TPR and adoption is finalized.
 
C

Cgriff

Junior Member
???? your state only?

Does this apply to other states or just that one? What exactly is a TPR? I am dealing with a similar issue (somewhat similar atleast)
 
S

Silverplum

Senior Member
Cgriff said:
Does this apply to other states or just that one? What exactly is a TPR? I am dealing with a similar issue (somewhat similar atleast)
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I left you a message after one of your other questions in someone else's thread.

Family law is different in every state. Stick to yours, only.
 
K

keanse19

Junior Member
The thing is that both my husband and the absent father are in the military and the absent father is stationed in Germany and he has to other kids and is married now. He said that he was going to take time to think about it because he is going down range ( Iraq ) so, I have no clue as to what to do. The only reason he has sent emails is because he has gotten the adoption papers. OH and he has never supported her in anyway even when he was around. Which means no child support because they " couldn't find him" even though i gave them his address.


Thanks for the advise.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You would DEFINITELY need a lawyer in your situation. Don't expect to terminate his rights while he's deployed (unless he agrees to it)
 
F

Farfalla

Member
keanse19 said:
The thing is that both my husband and the absent father are in the military and the absent father is stationed in Germany and he has to other kids and is married now. He said that he was going to take time to think about it because he is going down range ( Iraq ) so, I have no clue as to what to do. The only reason he has sent emails is because he has gotten the adoption papers. OH and he has never supported her in anyway even when he was around. Which means no child support because they " couldn't find him" even though i gave them his address.


Thanks for the advise.
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How old is the child? Don't think I saw that.

There are many laws in place the protect military personnel from having legal slam dunks done against them when they are deplayed to places like Iraq. I'm afraid that you most likely cannot do anything until his tour is over. He's your child's father. He does have rights even if he's not been there all along.

So what can you do? Wait until he's out of Iraq.

Now to the child support. Who 'couldn't find him'? That is something you can chase down.. for current and previous child support. He might be willing to just sign the papers if you can put presure on him there.
 
K

keanse19

Junior Member
She is 5 and the child support people could not find him after i had given them his info.
 
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F

Farfalla

Member
Here's some reading for you......


I searched google for "us army collect child support"

CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT AND MILITARY PERSONNEL
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/militaryguide2000.htm

How can I collect the child support/alimony, which my ex-spouse was ordered to provide in our divorce decree or separation agreement?
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/divfinance/l/blgarnish2.htm

OBTAINING SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT THROUGH THE EMPLOYER
http://travel.state.gov/family/services/support/support_2602.html


I've seen writing his commander and telling his commander that he's abandonded a child and is not paying court ordered support have a great result too.
 
K

keanse19

Junior Member
That there is a problem because the CS people said that they couldn't find him to serve him with any type of papers so he has never had to pay child support and they actually dropped the case after 3 years of no one finding him. The only reason i found his address is through the army. So I can't pull the child support thing unless to say I filing it on him.
 
F

Farfalla

Member
keanse19 said:
That there is a problem because the CS people said that they couldn't find him to serve him with any type of papers so he has never had to pay child support and they actually dropped the case after 3 years of no one finding him. The only reason i found his address is through the army. So I can't pull the child support thing unless to say I filing it on him.
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Did you even read the threads I posted for you?

Just because they dropped it does not mean he does not owe it. It means they were lazy....
 
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