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Stepparent adoption help.

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eckielady

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I hope this is the right place to post this.....if not let me know.

Here is my question. 9 years ago my son was born. The bio father and I were never married. We were together for about a year after he was born and then we broke up. He called a few times but never paid child support or anything. He was in and out of jail and there was no way to know where he was at any given time. I ended up moving and since then he has not known where we were. He was a very abusive man and a drug/alcohol addict. I did not feel it was a safe situation so didn't try to find him. This was in Minnesota, I now live in Missouri. I have been married for almost a year and would like my husband to adopt my son. I have been reading up on the putative father registry and not sure if it effects my story at all. Can you please tell me what the proper way to do this is? Would it have to be done in Mn or Mo? What are his legal rights? My son has not seen him in almost 9 years so doesn't even know who he is. He has also been in and out of jail many MANY times for drugs, beating his girlfriend, skipping bail and everything in between. Please, if you can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
 


Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
eckielady said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I hope this is the right place to post this.....if not let me know.

Here is my question. 9 years ago my son was born. The bio father and I were never married. We were together for about a year after he was born and then we broke up. He called a few times but never paid child support or anything. He was in and out of jail and there was no way to know where he was at any given time. I ended up moving and since then he has not known where we were. He was a very abusive man and a drug/alcohol addict. I did not feel it was a safe situation so didn't try to find him. This was in Minnesota, I now live in Missouri. I have been married for almost a year and would like my husband to adopt my son. I have been reading up on the putative father registry and not sure if it effects my story at all. Can you please tell me what the proper way to do this is? Would it have to be done in Mn or Mo? What are his legal rights? My son has not seen him in almost 9 years so doesn't even know who he is. He has also been in and out of jail many MANY times for drugs, beating his girlfriend, skipping bail and everything in between. Please, if you can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
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So, somewhere between 8 years ago and now you disappeared with his child, and now you want to know how to terminate his rights? Not gonna get help here for that!
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Zigner said:
So, somewhere between 8 years ago and now you disappeared with his child, and now you want to know how to terminate his rights? Not gonna get help here for that!
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Come on...its not like she knew where he was to even inform him of the move. He obviously wasn't interested himself.

OP, for a stepparent adoption you MUST have an attorney. It is absolutely NOT something that can be done without one. Therefore you need to get a consult with a local attorney.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
LdiJ said:
Come on...its not like she knew where he was to even inform him of the move. He obviously wasn't interested himself.

OP, for a stepparent adoption you MUST have an attorney. It is absolutely NOT something that can be done without one. Therefore you need to get a consult with a local attorney.
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He called "a few times" - but he can't call now, can he? :rolleyes:

I'd bet that, with very little effort, this OP could locate the FATHER of the child.
 
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eckielady

Junior Member
Actually, I went on with my life with MY child. He had his chance but decided sticking a needle in his arm was more fun. If you didn't want to help then why did you respond? I get this whole "Men have rights too" thing....I actually am one of the first people to stand up for men. But you naive guys that think EVERY man should have the same rights are idiots. If I was shooting drugs into my veins than I shouldn't have any rights either.

Grow up....if you want to help then help. If not then save my time for somebody that does.


Oh, and by the way, I suppose by your way of thinking I should have stayed living in the same piece of crap house I lived in with the hope that one day he would get his crap together? Who cares if we had no heat half the time and it got about 112 degrees in there. Screw trying to better my life so I could better his right? As long as the bio father gets what he wants screw the kid? That is what all you people are saying. The bio father is more important then the child. You people disgust me.
 
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eckielady

Junior Member
I came to the wrong place. I was hoping there were people on here with actual legal experience....not 12 yr olds using mommy's computer.

As for the ONE poster that was actually nice....thank you. I have talked to a lawyer just wanted to see what I could find on here. We are trying to find a new one though.
 
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eckielady

Junior Member
I would love to know something. What exactly IS your idea of an unfit father? Seriously, I'm curious. You can either be mature here and actually answer or you can throw out some comment that makes no sense. Either way**************....have fun with it.
 
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eckielady

Junior Member
Oh ya, and of the "Few times" he called he never once asked about his son. He just called to let me know what he thought of me. Don't think that matters to any of you but still hoping common sense will prevail.

I also love how you guys just sound like you hate women. Like we run around getting pregnant and taking off. You think that's not a hard, thought out decision for some of us. I loved my ex but he changed. He turned into this scary man that my son was terrified of. He woke up from nightmares for a year.

Again, don't think it matters to any of you but don't care. I'm a mom first. My duty was not to my ex, it was to protect my son. It scares me what kind of parent some of you may be......how dare you NOT put your child first. How dare you not do ANYTHING to protect them.
 
S

Silverplum

Senior Member
eckielady said:
I would love to know something. What exactly IS your idea of an unfit father? Seriously, I'm curious. You can either be mature here and actually answer or you can throw out some comment that makes no sense. Either way**************....have fun with it.
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Mature?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! :p:p:p

Try doing research. The definitions are all over this site. Right in this forum. It's not hard. It just takes reading and, ya know, grasping what you read. :rolleyes:
 
S

Silverplum

Senior Member
Semi-quotable. :rolleyes:

eckielady said:
Oh ya, and of the "Few times" he called he never once asked about his son. He just called to let me know what he thought of me. Don't think that matters to any of you but still hoping common sense will prevail.

I also love how you guys just sound like you hate women. Like we run around getting pregnant and taking off. You think that's not a hard, thought out decision for some of us. I loved my ex but he changed. He turned into this scary man that my son was terrified of. He woke up from nightmares for a year.

Again, don't think it matters to any of you but don't care. I'm a mom first. My duty was not to my ex, it was to protect my son. It scares me what kind of parent some of you may be......how dare you NOT put your child first. How dare you not do ANYTHING to protect them.
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Madam, we don't give a hoot which parent "wins." We don't care about gender, and neither does the Law.

All we care about is the Law.
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
OP - if the man (the one that you chose to father your child) was SO bad, the proper venue to use would have been the courts.
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
eckielady said:
I would love to know something. What exactly IS your idea of an unfit father? Seriously, I'm curious. You can either be mature here and actually answer or you can throw out some comment that makes no sense. Either way**************....have fun with it.
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courts has their own guideline. you can look them up. a father has rights, because the courts say so. trying to remove those rights must be for the safety of the child. and when i say that, dad has to be trying to kill child.

is dad doing drugs in front of child causing harm to the child? has he OD'd in front of child causing harm to the child? this warrants supervised visits, not removal of parental rights. the courts have to give a parent room to improve.

oh, btw...yes i did protect my children. i went to court and got custody orders. i got off my fat rear end and DID something about it!
 
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