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Step-father adoption

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washington1977

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

When my son was 10 months old we left the state of Texas because his father was heavily into drugs. I waited a year to file for divorce to give him a chance to clean up and make an effort. He never did, so we divorced. He did not contest it. I received custodial rights to our son. It has be 3 and half years now. My son is almost 4. I am remarrying in a week and my fiance has been around my son for over 2 years now. My son calls him dad. After we marry we are moving forward and he is filing to adopt my son. My son't biological father has made no attempt at all to be in my son's life. I attempted to file for child support, but support enforcement could not find him. I also tried to go through an attorney and they were also unable to locate him. Everything seemed just fine until yesterday. I received a letter in the mail with a $50 money order in it from his biological father. I am not sure what to do at this point. He is not a good man. Because he made this one attempt is going to make things very difficult in the adoption process for us?
 


Gracie3787

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

When my son was 10 months old we left the state of Texas because his father was heavily into drugs. I waited a year to file for divorce to give him a chance to clean up and make an effort. He never did, so we divorced. He did not contest it. I received custodial rights to our son. It has be 3 and half years now. My son is almost 4. I am remarrying in a week and my fiance has been around my son for over 2 years now. My son calls him dad. After we marry we are moving forward and he is filing to adopt my son. My son't biological father has made no attempt at all to be in my son's life. I attempted to file for child support, but support enforcement could not find him. I also tried to go through an attorney and they were also unable to locate him. Everything seemed just fine until yesterday. I received a letter in the mail with a $50 money order in it from his biological father. I am not sure what to do at this point. He is not a good man. Because he made this one attempt is going to make things very difficult in the adoption process for us?
Adoption should never be done without hiring an attorney, there are way too many things that can go wrong.
Get a consult or 2 with adoption attorneys so that you'll know exactly what you need to do.
 

momofrose

Senior Member
Now that you received a $50.00 check -maybe you have an address? In about a year (after you are married) - you can ask that he allow your husband to adopt his little boy. If he does not agree - you would have to show abandonement - I am not sure how the $50.00 check would affect that - but it might...
 

bnr0212

Junior Member
I did not file termination of parental rights earlier because I thought it was something that I needed to hire a lawyer to do. However, I later found out that you do not need a lawyer (at least in my state) to file for termination of rights. You can do it yourself, file a form with the probate court and pay a fee. In the form you have various options to pick from as a reason for the termination; one of them being abandonment. We had a court hearing in front of the judge and his rights were terminated. The adoption pretty much works the same way, file a form and go to a hearing. I don't need a lawyer because I'm now the sole guardian of my child and there will be no dispute about the adoption. Just be aware the father of your child and you have the right to obtain an attorney to handle these proceedings.

Good luck!
 

janM

Member
I did not file termination of parental rights earlier because I thought it was something that I needed to hire a lawyer to do. However, I later found out that you do not need a lawyer (at least in my state) to file for termination of rights.
What is your state? That may not be the case in Washington. Especially since there has been contact (mail).
She should get a consult or 2.
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
there's nothing you can do until you have been married a year or so. Most judges require you be married at least a year to show stability.

The $50.00 and the letter will be considered contact.

Abandonment is VERY hard to prove. Our bio went 2 years with no contact and in the 5 years prior to that called 4 times. never any money, etc. Still took us a year to terminate. And it was only done then because she didn't show up for court. The judge will give him chances to do right before terminating. It is VERY hard if the other parent contests it.
 

scott56

Junior Member
My girlfriend and I lived together for four years before we got married and I filed for an intention to adopt her son.
We got married on Thursday and filed the papers on Friday. The judge waived the one year marriage rule since we had been together for years.
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
but that is quite the exception to the rule and unless the OP is in the same court as you, won't do her any good. She can ask if the judge will waive it, but most will not
 

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