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Raped

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ogsbtater

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MS

My 16 year old daughter was raped and is pregnant. We will be able to tell if the baby is a product of the rape or consentual sex with her boyfriend by the ethnicity when the baby is born. Her now ex boyfriend wants nothing to do with the baby. My husband and I are wanting to adopt the baby to keep the rapist (if it is his) from trying to calim the child. I heard that I would have to run an add in the paper asking the father to lay claim to the child. Is this true? Given the circumstances?
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
You need to consult an adoption attorney, or read the adoption statutes for yourself. In most states, if a child is born from a rape, then the rapist cannot lay claim to the child anyway. Whether notification would still be necessary, I don't know in MS, however, a MS adoption attorney will know for sure.

However, will your daughter be ok with having her child no longer be her child but her sister or brother living in the same household?
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Yes but he is unidentified
IF A "rape kit" done at the time, the police have a record of the assailant's DNA and evidence of the crime. If so, then the publication process would serve two functions: first is that any potential other partner, that could potentially be the father, would not have THEIR rights tromped on, and, if the rapist would actually come forward, they can be arrested.
 

ogsbtater

Junior Member
It will not be that way. The reason we are wanting to adopt her child is an attempt to keep the child safe. We are not his "parents" and are planning on confusing him anymore than the situation already is. We want our daughter to complete highschool, go to college and be able to support her child in the future. We are his grandparents and are planning on playing that role.

It is really a messed up situation all around. I applaud my daughter for keeping her child with everything involved with his creation.

I just can't phathom publicly announcing my minor child's rape and pregnancy in this small town.
 

Farfalla

Member
So your daughter has no idea who the rapist was?

When there is an adoption both biological parents have to give up their parental rights. When one of them cannot be found it is necessary to publish. I have an adopted son. 19 years ago when we adopted him, the guy the mother names as father ran off and joined the military and denied any possiblity of being the father. So we had to publish for about 5 weeks in the newpaper in the town in lives that his son was being adopted to give him a chance to object. We never heard from him and the adoption contined at risk.. meaning that he could show up at any tiem and try to protest. Thank goodness he never did.

Your daughter would be truthful in stating that she has no idea who the father is.

I'm searching for things that pertain right now. So far I've not found anything on MS (Mississippi right?). But here are interesting things from other states if you are interested.

Lists several states that prevent rapists from having parental rights....
SupportGuidelines.com | Article: The Parental Rights of Rapists

Autumn's Law prevents rapists from claiming ‘parental rights’
http://www.sclife.org/abortionlawsinsc/AutumnsLaw.pdf
 

ogsbtater

Junior Member
IF A "rape kit" done at the time, the police have a record of the assailant's DNA and evidence of the crime. If so, then the publication process would serve two functions: first is that any potential other partner, that could potentially be the father, would not have THEIR rights tromped on, and, if the rapist would actually come forward, they can be arrested.
She didn't tell us until 4 days later and all evidence was gone. She did get seen by Gyn, interviewed with the police, is in counseling, and had a forensic interview.

I had noticed an aggresive change in her behavior and her being withdrawn. I finally couldn't take it anymore and asked her to tell me what was wrong. She started crying and all she would say was "I said No, Mom, I said NO" after about 10 mins of questioning and a lot of emotions she told me what happened. I immediately called the police.

That is another messed up situation. They didn't have a crime kit and had to "borrow" ziplock bags from me to obtain evidence. The MALE officer took pics of her bottom where she was forced onto the ground. She was bruised and cut up really badly.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
It will not be that way. The reason we are wanting to adopt her child is an attempt to keep the child safe. We are not his "parents" and are planning on confusing him anymore than the situation already is. We want our daughter to complete highschool, go to college and be able to support her child in the future. We are his grandparents and are planning on playing that role.

It is really a messed up situation all around. I applaud my daughter for keeping her child with everything involved with his creation.

I just can't phathom publicly announcing my minor child's rape and pregnancy in this small town.
Just an FYI: Adoptive parents are NOT "temporary" parents! If that is your plan, DO NOT ADOPT. Being an adoptive parent means you are committing to that child to:

Be THEIR parent FOREVER.​

It is corrupting the adoption process to treat any adoption as a temporary fix.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
It will not be that way. The reason we are wanting to adopt her child is an attempt to keep the child safe. We are not his "parents" and are planning on confusing him anymore than the situation already is. We want our daughter to complete highschool, go to college and be able to support her child in the future. We are his grandparents and are planning on playing that role.
I think I may be able to appreciate what you want to do, but legally it WILL be that way. If you adopt this child, how do you then explain to him that while your daughter is his mother, she cannot sign her name to his school documents or any other emergency information as his mother? That she will not be privy to any of his legal documents, can't take him to the doctor, authorize medical care, get insurance or any of that? Why won't she? Because after the child is adopted, she is no longer LEGALLY the child's parent, she (in your case) will be the child's sister.

I'll go a step further. IMO, no judge will allow you to adopt this child if you intend on adopting the child, then giving the child back to his mother. Adoptions are not meant to be temporary situations, they are permanent in every way, shape or form. There is no return policy on a child or on an adoption. If all you want her to do is complete high school, go to college and support this child in the future, you can do all of that to help her (if you choose) without adopting the child. There are lots of young ladies who complete high school, go off to college and raise children.
 

Farfalla

Member
I've spent a fair amount of time tryting to find anything in MS that would make it so that publishing for adoption in a case like this is not required. I could not find anything. If you still want to pursue the adoption route, a local adoption attorney can tell you if there is a way to terminate parental rights of an unknown rapist in your state.

However, I agree with the others. Adopting a child is permanent. Your daughter will loose all right to be the legal mother of her child. And you will not be protecting this child from the rapist legally any more than you daughter can. Again you could talk to a local attorney to see if there is a way for your daughter to terminate the rights of an unconvicted, unknown rapist.

At this point your daughter does not know who the father is. If her boyfreind is not the fatehr she still does not know. Any man who comes forward to claim that he is the father is implicating himself in the rape. Not smart.The baby's DNA could finger him as the rapist.
 

Farfalla

Member
Was your daughter 15 or 16 when she was raped?

Does she know the approximate age of the rapist? Was he a teen or an older guy?
 

nextwife

Senior Member
I've spent a fair amount of time tryting to find anything in MS that would make it so that publishing for adoption in a case like this is not required. I could not find anything. If you still want to pursue the adoption route, a local adoption attorney can tell you if there is a way to terminate parental rights of an unknown rapist in your state.

However, I agree with the others. Adopting a child is permanent. Your daughter will loose all right to be the legal mother of her child. And you will not be protecting this child from the rapist legally any more than you daughter can. Again you could talk to a local attorney to see if there is a way for your daughter to terminate the rights of an unconvicted, unknown rapist.

At this point your daughter does not know who the father is. If her boyfreind is not the fatehr she still does not know. Any man who comes forward to claim that he is the father is implicating himself in the rape. Not smart.The baby's DNA could finger him as the rapist.
Possibly. However, there is a third POSSIBILITY. Daughter may not have wanted to discuss all the details of her consentual sex life with her parents. It wouldn't be the first time a young lady did not wish to admit her entire story.

Not saying there IS, but it is POSSIBLE that, besides the rapist and the boyfriend, there could be a third guy who is the father. ONLY daughter knows this. This is why publication cannot be omitted. IF there exists a third party that mom and dad are not aware of who could be dad, his rights to claim paternity cannot be subverted. That is why we truly can't absolutely claim that any man who admits paternity IS the rapist, nor is it absolute proof he is the rapist. It is curious in this day and age that a young woman of her age would not be aware how important the preservation of forensic evidence would be.
 
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Farfalla

Member
Possibly. However, there is a third POSSIBILITY. Daughter may not have wanted to discuss all the details of her consentual sex life with her parents. It wouldn't be the first time a young lady did not wish to admit her entire story.

Not saying there IS, but it is POSSIBLE that, besides the rapist and the boyfriend, there could be a third guy who is the father. ONLY daughter knows this. This is why publication cannot be omitted. IF there exists a third party that mom and dad are not aware of who could be dad, his rights to claim paternity cannot be subverted. That is why we truly can't absolutely claim that any man who admits paternity IS the rapist, nor is it absolute proof he is the rapist. It is curious in this day and age that a young woman of her age would not be aware how important the preservation of forensic evidence would be.
Yes, those are good points to consider.
 

ogsbtater

Junior Member
Alright here is the whole story:

We live in a small town just on the inside of the city limit. We have a private home on private property. There is approx 3 acres of woods (our property) seperating us from the government housing.
On 3/9/08 I asked my daughter to feed the dog (outside) about 15 min later I relized she hadn't come back in. my 2 youngest (3&4) were playing outside under the litchen window. I went to the door...next to the window and called for her. No answer. I asked the little ones where'd she go and they pointed to the woods. I got my husband and we called her agian, she came out of the woods looking frieghtened and angry. We asked what she was doing and she said "nothing!" A few seconds later I saw a black male running away. I did not see his face he was around 6ft tall. I asked her about it and she said she didn't see anyone out there. I knew she was lieing but I couldn't get her to talk. She stayed angry and lashing out at everyone in the family and on 3/13 we had a fallout about her behavior and that is when she told me. We called the police and a report was made (as I stated above). I called and made an appt for the Womens clinic which couldn't see her until 3/27. We were told that because of the time lapsed that the ER wouldn't do anygood. Her appt was a neg to pregnancy and STD's but pos for bacterial infection. She turned 16 4/8 and was pos for preg on 4/13. She had a light cycle after the rape but that was more than likely caused from trauma. I pretty much witnessed the scumbag in the woods. My little ones were distressed from the look in their faces, I do ont know what they heard or saw as they are to young to tell me. I KNOW she was raped. I am almost certain that this baby is a product of the rape seeing as she and her boyfriend used condoms and the rapist intitially had one on but pulled it off before he ejaculated (was found in the woods).

There has to be another way besides publishing this. Our town has maybe 5000 people in it. The highschool only consists of about 200 students. She has not told anyone she was raped and now is enduring the nastiness of teens calling her a whore for not saying who the father of her child is.
 

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