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Stepfather adopting stepson on grounds of abandonment

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XRayGirl1982

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? West Virginia

My question is: My husband has decided to adopt my son, his stepson. My son is 9 and he loves his stepdad. We want to know if we can go about the adoption on grounds of abandonment of the biological father. My ex physically abused me when I was pregnant with my son and after my son was born he continued to abuse me. When my son was 7 months old I found out he had down's syndrome and he had heart surgery at 10 months. I have worked hard to support and raise my son alone all these years. He left when my son was 18 months old and moved out of state. He has since been in and out of jail and has not contacted my son since May of 2001, which makes it 8 years he hasnt had contact. I dont know if this makes a difference or not but my son has his biological father's last name and his name is on the birth certificate. Another delimma I have is that I have no idea where he is or how to find him. All I want to do is terminate his parental rights and my husband wants to legally be his father. My husband made us a family and that is what I want us to be. So I guess my question is, where do I begin? Do I have an abandonment case? and Does the biological father even have parental rights right now?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
XRayGirl1982 said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? West Virginia

My question is: My husband has decided to adopt my son, his stepson. My son is 9 and he loves his stepdad. We want to know if we can go about the adoption on grounds of abandonment of the biological father. My ex physically abused me when I was pregnant with my son and after my son was born he continued to abuse me. When my son was 7 months old I found out he had down's syndrome and he had heart surgery at 10 months. I have worked hard to support and raise my son alone all these years. He left when my son was 18 months old and moved out of state. He has since been in and out of jail and has not contacted my son since May of 2001, which makes it 8 years he hasnt had contact. I dont know if this makes a difference or not but my son has his biological father's last name and his name is on the birth certificate. Another delimma I have is that I have no idea where he is or how to find him. All I want to do is terminate his parental rights and my husband wants to legally be his father. My husband made us a family and that is what I want us to be. So I guess my question is, where do I begin? Do I have an abandonment case? and Does the biological father even have parental rights right now?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
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Yes, you definitely have an abandonment case. However, an adoption is absolutely not a DIY project. You truly need an attorney for an adoption case. Get yourself a consult with a local adoption attorney.
 
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milspecgirl

Senior Member
has dad paid child support????
this could be seen as contact in some courts, but maybe not enough to overcome the years of abandonment.
You will have to have dad served- you may have to hire a PI to find him. If you do everything in your power to try to find dad and can't, you can then petition the courts and ask that they let you serve him by publication, but they will want proof you have done everything possible to get him served.
 
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XRayGirl1982

Junior Member
Help!!!

To reply to milspecgirl's comment, no the dad has never paid child support. Even when he was in my son's life, I went to radiology school from 7am to 4 pm and then worked from 5pm to 9 pm and had to get a babysitter b/c his father wouldnt watch him. He always ran around with his friends all day and did drugs and drank. Frankly, my son was better off at a babysitter. But the PI thing, do you really think I need to hire one. If so, how much does something like that cost? I live in WV and I do know that the bio. father is in Indiana somewhere, but I'm not sure where. What do I do now? I have already emailed a local lawyer for a consult. Another question I have is: Is there any kind of financial help with something like this? I am the only one working right now b/c my husband is a full time college student in RN school, so money is tight. I just want to get this done just in case something should happen to me, God forbid, I can rest assured my son will stay with my husband and not go to that dirtbag.
 
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milspecgirl

Senior Member
do you think there is any chance dad will sign off voluntarily?

I wouldn't go with a PI just yet. Do you have any way of trying to find out dad's whereabouts. his family? friends? anyone who can give you a lead?

you need an atty for this- especially if dad contests it
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
XRayGirl1982 said:
To reply to milspecgirl's comment, no the dad has never paid child support. Even when he was in my son's life, I went to radiology school from 7am to 4 pm and then worked from 5pm to 9 pm and had to get a babysitter b/c his father wouldnt watch him. He always ran around with his friends all day and did drugs and drank. Frankly, my son was better off at a babysitter. But the PI thing, do you really think I need to hire one. If so, how much does something like that cost? I live in WV and I do know that the bio. father is in Indiana somewhere, but I'm not sure where. What do I do now? I have already emailed a local lawyer for a consult. Another question I have is: Is there any kind of financial help with something like this? I am the only one working right now b/c my husband is a full time college student in RN school, so money is tight. I just want to get this done just in case something should happen to me, God forbid, I can rest assured my son will stay with my husband and not go to that dirtbag.
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can i suggest googling? i know it sounds so simple, but i found my dad (again), my aunt, a cousin i haven't spoken to in 20 years, her dad, my dad's wife even a few people i used to work with 10 years ago.

do you have "dads" SSN number? when i first contacted my dad, i found his SSN on my birth certificate. I mailed a letter to SSA with the SSN, my dad's birthdate, last known city of residence, included a postage paid envelope that contained a letter to my dad. one month later i got a phone call from my dad. this was 13 years ago. it didn't cost me a dime. this might work well if dad is willing to consent.
 
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