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Forced care for Mom

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jimnyc

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I am actually posting from NY but Mom and the rest of family reside in NJ.

Mom has a severe case of COPD, severe asthma and just recently had triple bypass surgery and an aortic valve replacement. She is currently in an advanced care rehab unit in NJ and tentatively scheduled for release on 11/11/08.

90% of our family are of the belief that she then needs an assisted living facility or a nursing home. Mom herself is rather adamant about not wanting to be sent to a "death sentence" at a nursing home. I explained about her quality of life and the care she needs, but she's still adamant about not going to either.

She appears to be of sound mind and competent, but obviously not understanding of the extent of care she needs. She will be on oxygen for the rest of her life. She will be taking medicine at set intervals throughout the day, everyday. She cannot even get herself to the bathroom at this point and is relegated to using adult diapers and depending on nurses to assist in her cleaning. While she is capable of attending therapy daily, there is little progress and she needs plenty of coaxing daily to get out of bed and attend.

I have thousands of documents of hers and have been seeking out appropriate facilities to get an idea for what is in her best interest. Should she still be refusing upon time of release, is there any way we can force her legally to go somewhere where she'll get the proper care she needs? She is collecting a pension and also has medicare. She likely wouldn't qualify, or afford, assisted living, but undoubtedly would qualify for quite a few nursing homes within her home area.

I might have additional questions, but I wanted to make this as brief as possible, and the most important question is whether or not we can force her to go somewhere where she'll get the best help, but to a place she is adamant about not wanting to go to.

Thanks in advance!
 


Ozark_Sophist

Senior Member
I would highly recommend speaking with a social worker at her current health care facility. Not only do they have knowledge of area nursing facilities, they deal with this issue on a daily basis. Sometimes it is easier to enlist a social worker to discuss living situtations with an elderly family member than a family member trying to talk to a parent. The personal dynamics are different.

While not knowing the specifics of your mother's needs, I would recommend a transititional care facility which is covered by Medicare. There she could get rehabilitation beyond what would be normally available at a nursing home. Our medical center transitional care facility limits stays to two weeks or so, but that time could be utilitized to find an appropriate solution. It sounds like she may already be in a rehab unit, but I believe for payment Medicare looks at acute rehab differently

A nursing or assisted living facility would evaluate her prior to discharge from the hospital. The evaluation staff could also talk to her, but I would recommend getting an agreement from her to at least consider the option before this visit. You couldn't involuntarily place her yourself without establishing legal guardianship.

Home options could include home health care, durable medical equiptment (bedside commode), walker w/seat, and a medical alert pendant.
 
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