Emancipation: Should I? Should I not?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I am sixteen years old and I have an alcoholic mom and stepfather. My mom is verbally abusive and my stepdad ignores me. Lately, my mom and stepdad came home so drunk that my mom fell over and my stepdad started yelling at me, backing me down the hallway, backing me into doors and jabbing his finger into my chest, thus forcing me to call the cops. Now, I'm living with my boyfriend [please no judgements, I'm a responsible teenager who just needed a refugee], but my mom is about ready to force me to move back home. My stipulations for moving back home is Charlie, my stepdad, and my mom need to apologize. I'm not saying they need to go to rehab, or need to pay a thousand dollars yada yada yada, I just want an apology. My mom says Charlie doesn't owe me an apology. Others disagree. I've been with my boyfriends family for a month now, [sleeping in his sisters room, mind you] but I honestly think that it would be better for me to get emancipated. Most everyone I've talked to agrees that for my state of mind, health, and since I'm already an independant person, I might as well. However, givin the information you've already heard about my family, my mom won't sign the emancipation papers, thus issuing court order. I don't want to go through that.

Anyways, what I'm asking is, should I or should I not get emancipated? I'm not a dumb sixteen year old trying to get out of the house and live on my own. I just want to be happy for once, and be in a safe environment.

By the way, my father passed away in March of 2008, so I can't go to him.

Thanks,

LuxuryLily

or

MelissaWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

You can pay all your bills and support yourself 100%? Based on what you have said you will NOT get emancipated. And your mother can force you back home. Without apologizing to you first. If you are being abused called CPS or talk to a school counselor or teacher.

You are under the age of consent in MO, so your boyfriend might be breaking the law ... oh, and don't expect people to believe that hanky panky is NOT going on. Maybe it's not, but experience tells us it is.

Also, mom and stepdad can come get you at any time. If your boyfriend's parents want to hold on to you after they have reported you as a runaway, they could be charged with a crime. So, hopefully your mom doesn't mind you staying with someone else.

With few exceptions, here are the requirements I can find:

* The child must be a resident of Missouri
* The child has to be at least 16 years of age
* The child must be living separate and apart from the parents or guardian
* The child must be capable of supporting himself or herself financially and managing his or her own affairs
* Each parent or guardian must consent (although there are certain exceptions)
* Not a ward of the state

You will have to show how you plan to continue school and support yourself (without government aid or handouts from boyfriends), and you will have to show compelling reasons why you should not remain with your mother. It would help to show the court child services reports or police reports that show your mom to be unfit. If no such reports exist, it will be difficult to prove to a court that this is not simply the desires of a teenage girl to be on their own (as many are wont to do).

You will have a great burden thrust upon you if your mother does not agree with your emancipation.

- Carl

Just in case it isn't clear enough.

You do not get to set the circumstances under which you return home.

If you believe you are being abused, call child protective services. They will investigate.

No, they still won't let you play house with your boyfriend.

I should probably explain further.

When the cops arrived at my house, my boyfriends mom got permission from my mom and the officers to take me in for the time being.

Social services said it was better I stayed at his house until I thought it was safe to go back. I love my mom, but I don't like my stepdad, I don't trust him, and now, I'm frightened of him. So social services is involved now.

My boyfriend is seven months younger than I, so he's not breaking the law.

I've had a job since I was fourteen, getting $7.50 an hour.

My parents are constantly getting in trouble with police for drunk driving and my mom had gotten into trouble when my dad and mom were divorcing. Trespassing on a restraining order, drunk, etc, etc.

Many people have had to come and retrieve myself and my younger sister [12] from my house because of the alcohol. My father was the same way.

I suppose since you don't know me personally, you don't know my families history and whatnot, you won't totally understand what I've gone through/am going through.

To you, I'm just a sixteen year old girl wanting to grow up too fast and be on my own.

However, basic generalizations aside, my basic question was this:

Should I attempt an emancipation, or should I not?

LuxuryLily said:

I should probably explain further.

When the cops arrived at my house, my boyfriends mom got permission from my mom and the officers to take me in for the time being.

Social services said it was better I stayed at his house until I thought it was safe to go back. I love my mom, but I don't like my stepdad, I don't trust him, and now, I'm frightened of him. So social services is involved now.

My boyfriend is seven months younger than I, so he's not breaking the law.

I've had a job since I was fourteen, getting $7.50 an hour.

My parents are constantly getting in trouble with police for drunk driving and my mom had gotten into trouble when my dad and mom were divorcing. Trespassing on a restraining order, drunk, etc, etc.

Many people have had to come and retrieve myself and my younger sister [12] from my house because of the alcohol. My father was the same way.

I suppose since you don't know me personally, you don't know my families history and whatnot, you won't totally understand what I've gone through/am going through.

To you, I'm just a sixteen year old girl wanting to grow up too fast and be on my own.

However, basic generalizations aside, my basic question was this:

Should I attempt an emancipation, or should I not?

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You cannot support yourself, paying rent and all other things making $7.50 an hour.
A Judge will want to see that you can, without help from anyone.

LuxuryLily said:

So social services is involved now.

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Then talk with them about court ordered placement. If they are not willing to go to court to remove your mom's legal right to custody, then I doubt you have a great case to bring before the judge.

My boyfriend is seven months younger than I, so he's not breaking the law.

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So, you are trying to play house. I hope you are both ready to be parents because that kind of thing does tend to happen.

I've had a job since I was fourteen, getting $7.50 an hour.

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That's a plus, but not necessarily sufficient to support yourself.

My parents are constantly getting in trouble with police for drunk driving and my mom had gotten into trouble when my dad and mom were divorcing. Trespassing on a restraining order, drunk, etc, etc.

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Okay. By itself, that is not going to compel a court to grant you emancipation. More likely, a court will order your placement into foster care until mom and stepdad get their act together. The court is NOT going to thrust you into a position where you get to fool around with your boyfriend.

Many people have had to come and retrieve myself and my younger sister [12] from my house because of the alcohol. My father was the same way.

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Good for them. But, again, the first solution will be through child services or social services (as appropriate).

I suppose since you don't know me personally, you don't know my families history and whatnot, you won't totally understand what I've gone through/am going through.

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I know very well what you are going through - I see it every day. I am also a foster parent that takes in kids in positions quite similar to yours. I'd be a little more sympathetic if you were not shacking up with your boyfriend.

So you know, emancipation is rarely granted, and even then it tends to occur only when the other alternatives have been attempted. So, before you go the emancipation route, you may want to ask for help from child services and see where that takes you. Who knows, they may feel that you are a good candidate for emancipation. It wouldn't fly out here, but maybe the standards are a little lower in MO - I don't know.

Should I attempt an emancipation, or should I not?

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That is up to you. No one can tell you what you SHOULD do in this situation. Personally, I think it would be a waste of time to seek emancipation prior to seeking assistance from child or social services for some alternative placement. I'm absolutely dumbfounded that any social service agency would say it's okay for you to shack up with your boyfriend, but I suppose standards are a little diminished in your locale.

- Carl