What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO
My mother who is almost 88 has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is soon going to need long-term care. My mother remarried about ten years ago. Our stepfather recently called my sister and told her that something had to be done that he could not continue to care for our mother. He is also about 88. My sister went to visit mother and talked with a local attorney. The result was that my sister asked our mother to sign a power of attorney so that decisons could be made if she were to need care. She suggested that a nurse be hired to provide some care so that mother could remain at home for as long as possible. My mother absolutely refused to even discuss the possiblity of needing assistance and told my sister to leave. Mother became so angry that my sister left and went to a hotel.
Is there any way that we can work out this type of situation without declaring my mother incompetent? She has a rather large estate and apparently thinks that we are all trying to get her money. We do not need access to the entire estate, but it is necessary that either the husband, my sister or me be able to access her checking account to cover the cost of care. Our fear is that if we do attempt to declare her incompetent that it will only create more stress for mother and us. Plus, the fear of failing in the effort causes us great concern. If we are forced to take this step, what type of proof is required? Does mother have to go to court or can testing be done outside the court, etc.?
Thank you for your help. This was already a time of great stress for my family and the additional concern for my mother illness is almost overwhelming. I would like to take care of her longer in our home, but that is not possible. My wife is undergoing cancer treatments and I am am partially paralyzed due to the removal of a spinal tumor a couple of years ago.
My mother who is almost 88 has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is soon going to need long-term care. My mother remarried about ten years ago. Our stepfather recently called my sister and told her that something had to be done that he could not continue to care for our mother. He is also about 88. My sister went to visit mother and talked with a local attorney. The result was that my sister asked our mother to sign a power of attorney so that decisons could be made if she were to need care. She suggested that a nurse be hired to provide some care so that mother could remain at home for as long as possible. My mother absolutely refused to even discuss the possiblity of needing assistance and told my sister to leave. Mother became so angry that my sister left and went to a hotel.
Is there any way that we can work out this type of situation without declaring my mother incompetent? She has a rather large estate and apparently thinks that we are all trying to get her money. We do not need access to the entire estate, but it is necessary that either the husband, my sister or me be able to access her checking account to cover the cost of care. Our fear is that if we do attempt to declare her incompetent that it will only create more stress for mother and us. Plus, the fear of failing in the effort causes us great concern. If we are forced to take this step, what type of proof is required? Does mother have to go to court or can testing be done outside the court, etc.?
Thank you for your help. This was already a time of great stress for my family and the additional concern for my mother illness is almost overwhelming. I would like to take care of her longer in our home, but that is not possible. My wife is undergoing cancer treatments and I am am partially paralyzed due to the removal of a spinal tumor a couple of years ago.