What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA
My parents are 89 and 92. My father was just recently hospitalized with Stage IV prostate cancer. My mother, the 92 year old, is now alone at their house. I live at a distance, so I set up for someone to come in as a companion/driver 3 days a week for her. I have an older sister who lives 45 minutes from them. This sister has been married for 30 years to
a swindler and mental/physical abuser. Neither one of them work. The question for all these years has been: what do they do to get money? They live a nice lifestyle: high end cars, kid goes to private college, etc. My BIL was almost arrested last year for shoving my sister in a public place.The police were called and he to go on some type of probation, but I know my sister didn't press charges. Anyway, it came to my attention (my Dad told me himself) two years ago that my father was paying my sister's charge cards. He told me they ran about $5,000/month. I told him he needed to stop. She is a 57 year old woman who should be paying her own bills. I was astounded. My mother got "mad" that he told me, but my father said he thought he should tell somebody. I think he has been threatened by my BIL. It has now come to my attention that he never stopped paying the her credit cards. It's even worse now, though. Somehow, she convinced him to do automatic bill pay from his money market account. So, my father never even sees how much the bill is for, or what it is for, it is just automatically paid. Now it is not just $5000, it is $20,000. My husband and I suspect sister and BIL are doing cash withdrawals and depositing money into their own account for a nice nestegg. Meanwhile, while my Dad is sick in the hospital, sister is playing Florence Nightingale. It disgusts me. I just found out about the automatic bill pay yesterday. This is financial exploitation/extortion of elders at its finest. How do I convince my parents to stop this? I don't know why they feel they have to "take care" of a 57 year old woman who is married to a con-man/abuser. To prove evidence, I would need to get my parents' permission to discuss their finances with their financial planner, and this could be difficult. Can I report my suspected absue to the Elder Affairs office in Massachusetts and, if so, will they investigate it? I am scared to death my sister and her idiot husband will bleed my parents dry, and, then, when they need money for their own care will have none and become wards of the state. I am also fearing that my sister may have convinced my parents to put her name on the POA and Health Care Proxy. My parents are very secretive about their finances, wills, trusts, etc. If I go to their attorney and tell all, would that help? I am really afraid for my parents. My BIL is a nut and will stop at nothing so he be the fat cat sitting with lots of cash. My parents will not face the music, I fear, because of what BIL might do to sister if my parents cut her off. Any suggestions?
My parents are 89 and 92. My father was just recently hospitalized with Stage IV prostate cancer. My mother, the 92 year old, is now alone at their house. I live at a distance, so I set up for someone to come in as a companion/driver 3 days a week for her. I have an older sister who lives 45 minutes from them. This sister has been married for 30 years to
a swindler and mental/physical abuser. Neither one of them work. The question for all these years has been: what do they do to get money? They live a nice lifestyle: high end cars, kid goes to private college, etc. My BIL was almost arrested last year for shoving my sister in a public place.The police were called and he to go on some type of probation, but I know my sister didn't press charges. Anyway, it came to my attention (my Dad told me himself) two years ago that my father was paying my sister's charge cards. He told me they ran about $5,000/month. I told him he needed to stop. She is a 57 year old woman who should be paying her own bills. I was astounded. My mother got "mad" that he told me, but my father said he thought he should tell somebody. I think he has been threatened by my BIL. It has now come to my attention that he never stopped paying the her credit cards. It's even worse now, though. Somehow, she convinced him to do automatic bill pay from his money market account. So, my father never even sees how much the bill is for, or what it is for, it is just automatically paid. Now it is not just $5000, it is $20,000. My husband and I suspect sister and BIL are doing cash withdrawals and depositing money into their own account for a nice nestegg. Meanwhile, while my Dad is sick in the hospital, sister is playing Florence Nightingale. It disgusts me. I just found out about the automatic bill pay yesterday. This is financial exploitation/extortion of elders at its finest. How do I convince my parents to stop this? I don't know why they feel they have to "take care" of a 57 year old woman who is married to a con-man/abuser. To prove evidence, I would need to get my parents' permission to discuss their finances with their financial planner, and this could be difficult. Can I report my suspected absue to the Elder Affairs office in Massachusetts and, if so, will they investigate it? I am scared to death my sister and her idiot husband will bleed my parents dry, and, then, when they need money for their own care will have none and become wards of the state. I am also fearing that my sister may have convinced my parents to put her name on the POA and Health Care Proxy. My parents are very secretive about their finances, wills, trusts, etc. If I go to their attorney and tell all, would that help? I am really afraid for my parents. My BIL is a nut and will stop at nothing so he be the fat cat sitting with lots of cash. My parents will not face the music, I fear, because of what BIL might do to sister if my parents cut her off. Any suggestions?