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Exerting Undue Influence over Elderly Parent

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missnaive

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do about the following situation:

His mother started living with us in May, 2006 after hospitalization for a pituatary tumor. It was apparent that at 88 should could no longer live by herself. She lived at our house for 30 months. We helped her save $18,000 during the 30 months she lived with us. My husband's brother and wife refused to allow us any breaks for vacation etc., would go 90 days at a time without even calling her, missed mother's day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. She has a history of recurrent falls. The falls were getting worse. My husband and I both were working at full time jobs and caring for his mother. The last fall broke her collar bone and several ribs. We also live in a split foyer and were scared about the stairs. We felt the time had come for his mother to go to assisted living if she qualified or skilled nursing if necessary. She also has severe dementia. His brother and wife (wife does not and has not worked the entire time - but refused to help out) did not want her to go to a home because of the "cost". They took her to their home October 28, 2008. His mother had asked my husband to continue to take care of her finances as he had been doing but the sister-in-law would not hear of it and convinced the mother she wanted her check book back.

To make a long story short, when she went to live with my husband's brother and wife, she had $5350 in her checking account. She receives a little over $1070 from SS and about $600 to $800 in interest payments. After three months, she now has less than $3000 in her checking account. She is writing $100 checks almost every other day to the brother and his wife. (even though she pays $450 rent just as she paid us). Like I said, we helped her save $18,000 over thirty months. We feel they are cleaning out her checking account quickly.

What can or should we do? My husband has a durable power of attorney that she signed in December, 2006. But the brother and his wife have made statements that they need to be the durable power of attorney. We do not believe she is in any condition to sign a durable power of attorney at this stage. We see lots of red flags.

Thanks!
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
Talk to a family law attorney about whether it would be advisable for you or some other party to acquire conservatorship over her. And whether what they have done qualifies as elderly financial abuse or not.
 

missnaive

Junior Member
Exerting Undue Influence

I'll update you on my situation . . . brother in law and wife had GR revoke the POA from 12/06 and created a new POA naming both boys as POA. Not happy about it, but at least both sons were on the POA. Twenty-two days later, they revoked that POA and named my husband's brother only as POA.

On the same day this happened, the sister-in-law told my husband that GR no longer likes me! She would never ever say anything like this - also doing this on the same day she revoked POA shows that she is not in her right mind. I told my husband I had to hear it from her . . . she looked my husband in the eye and said "I no longer like ..." In four months, they have brainwashed this poor lady who only wants her life savings to be split equally between her sons. She also was somewhat mad at my husband saying interest checks were missing. We have a track record for the last 2 years plus as POA - we have not touched her money. We believe they have brainwashed her against me and now are working on my husband by withholding interest checks that arrive in the mail and saying that my husband must of cashed out the CD or did something with the interest checks.

My husband went to an attorney who said there is nothing we can do about this. Our broken economy is due to greed and now our own family has been torn apart because of greed. I hate to think of my mother-in-law dying and saying that she no longer likes me. (We had a wonderful relationship for 38 years!)

Help!
 

anteater

Senior Member
Consult another attorney. If MIL's dementia is "severe" enough, she probably lacks the legal competency to be revoking/creating POA's.
 

Dandy Don

Senior Member
Find out from an attorney whether your state has laws against abuse of POA and elderly financial abuse. If they are using the monies to spend on her personal care and provide an accounting statement to prove it, then that is acceptable but if they are planning to keep most of the money selfishly for themselves, you can file an action against this.
 

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