Mother Has Some Dementia But Won't Admit It

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA
My mother is 92 and in relatively good health, but she has dementia and won't admit it. My father is dying in a nursing home and my mother's dementia makes it almost impossible for her to make any decisions. I have one sister who lives nearby, but she and her husband have financially abused my parents for years, so I cannot depend upon her. My mother has a companion/aide and she is the one who told me about my mother's dementia getting worse. I sent a letter to her doctor, and he told me he would discuss it with her, but he would have to tell her I sent the note. I said fine, and then told my mother I had discussed some issues with her doctor and to expect him to ask her some questions at her appt. Well, Florence Nightingale sister takes her to doc appt., and mother goes ballistic when he tries to get her to take some kind of mental assessment test. I wasn't in the office, but it must been quite a scene. When I called the doc's office later, I was told that my mother had "verbally" requested that none of her medical records be shared with me anymore. She is punishing me now. She tells me she is not "nuts" just stressed. I am afraid she is going to sign something that she should not because she doesn't understand it. How can I get her take a mental acuity test, and how can I restore my name on records at her doc's office? Evil sister is the only one "allowed" to see her med records now, and that is downright dangerous. However, I am the name on her medical proxy through the attorney. Any ideas how to cope with a parent who is somewhat mentally compromised and won't admit it? I tried to get her to stop driving, too, and she won't.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

Aging Parent with signs of Demtia and is very mean

Hello,
I have a father who is showing signs of Dementia. Once my mom told the Doctor and my Dad took it out on my mom when they got home. She swears she will never do that again. My Dad moves around a lot from one State to the next. Reasons, does not like the neighbors, ect. and the latest was they would not give him a lic. in Minn. They are 80 years old and in the past 5 years have bought and sold 5 different homes. Mom cries, she had Breast Cancer and my oldest sister took my mom to the hospital to have the surgery. My Dad did not care to go. When my sister called my Dad to tell him how it went, my Dad got mad at my sister (he chooses who he likes and not like depending on if he thinks your a Christian or not and does not mater if your not family or are family) He told my sister to tell my Mom to take a Taxi home from the Hospital. She needed Radiation Treatment and during their move from Denver to ND. Mom did get a few treatments, but they were not on a regular basis nor did she finish the treatments. This is the place were they bought a Newly Built home and had some custom changes made to it and Dad found out that he could not get his drivers lic. in either ND or MINN. so they canceled their contract and moved back to Denver without telling anyone and not letting anyone know they are in Denver. The only way we found out was through our cousin in ND. I then called the hotel they always stay at and yep, there they were. I told the front desk guy not to let them know you talked to me about my Parents. He will not let my mom talk to me nor my oldest sister. Mom has to wait and call when Dad leaves the house. My Dad tore up all the Photos of us kids and has tried on numerous occasions to take us off his will. Thank Goodness, the lady always talks him out of it.
My Father is mean and pushes my mom around and leaves bruises on her but she tells others that she hit her arm on the counter ect. My question is:

How do I go about getting legal action to have my parents tested for Dementia? How can we stop Dad from Isolating my Mother from us? How can we make sure my Mom gets the medical treatment she needs? They have the best Medical Insurance and is retired from the Pentagon and makes great retirement pay. We as children do not have much money. If we can not afford an attorney is there a way to have my parents pay for it after a trust account is set up?

You need to start your own thread.