do not know where to start

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

ok, so i know to start w/a lawyer. thats on thurs. but i'd like to get an idea now of what to do and how to start.

been w/husband for 5 yrs. married for 2 w/2 boys ages 4 and 1. this is a domestic violence situation that has been ongoing and i can no allow it to continue. in the begining i was not a perfect angel but as time went on, and it got worse, i tried to deescalate/avoid fights instead of adding to the fire. last fight was on sat. he was arrested, i filed charges and i got a protective order.

however, allready i grow weak. i dont want to ruin his future w/an assault charge. i dont want to be a 'bitch' during the divorce but i dont want to be taken advantage of. and he's so off and on. one minute i can have everything, the next he's going for full custody of the kids. i want this to be as amicable as possible (and as cheap as possible)

questions:
`i worry about him properly watching the baby during visitation if its standard.
`we bought a vehicle but its only in his name and my parents gave me a car thats paid off and its in my name
`we have a timeshare (what a scam, i know). absolutely no clue on that one.
`all credit cards in his name. 50/50 right?
`aquired student loans while together but before legally being married. 50/50 hopefully!
`our home is owned my parents and we are like renters or 'rent-to-owners' and are responsible for all expenses
`pets??
`the 'big' stuff like tv, game systems, and computer, he says he wants bc paid for by his credit but i have a job and make almost as much as he does.
`do we both need seperate lawyers
`anyway to prevent from 'stealing' stuff if he violates the protective order?

any advice will be appreciated. i'm sure there are some hard truths, but if they could be gently disclosed, that would be extra appreciated! What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

amieintx said:

questions:
`i worry about him properly watching the baby during visitation if its standard.
`we bought a vehicle but its only in his name and my parents gave me a car thats paid off and its in my name
`we have a timeshare (what a scam, i know). absolutely no clue on that one.
`all credit cards in his name. 50/50 right?
`aquired student loans while together but before legally being married. 50/50 hopefully!
`our home is owned my parents and we are like renters or 'rent-to-owners' and are responsible for all expenses
`pets??
`the 'big' stuff like tv, game systems, and computer, he says he wants bc paid for by his credit but i have a job and make almost as much as he does.
`do we both need seperate lawyers
`anyway to prevent from 'stealing' stuff if he violates the protective order?

Click to expand...

- If the court orders visitation, you can request that the visitation be supervised - that is, a neutral adult be present at all times that he is with the children. This often takes place somewhere other than either home to minimize problems.
- Chances are that you'll keep your car and he will keep the other car. He will be responsible for paying for the car he keeps.
- The time share is an asset like any other. You will each be entitled to 1/2 the equity. If there is still a loan on it, then the one who keeps the time share will be responsible for the loan payment as well as paying the other person 1/2 of the equity. Since resale value for timeshares is so low, there is not likely to be any equity if there's a loan. If there's no loan, one of you will have to buy out the other person or else sell it and split the proceeds (assuming you bought it while married).
- You will be responsible for 1/2 of marital debt-including credit card debt. Since they're in his name, you won't have to worry about him ruining your credit, but you'll want to pay off your half quickly and then establish your own credit. Of course, you don't want to continue using the credit cards in his name.
- Student loans are sometimes an exception to the 50:50 on marital debt. Since the person who got the education is the one who will benefit, they often take on the full student loan debt.
- Since your parents own the home, you're going to want to request sole possession of the marital home - which will be granted. Then you can work out whatever deal you want with your parents for the future.
- There's no easy answer on pets. In general, I would argue that the pets should go with the kids as long as the custodial parent has the means to care for them. There are plenty of exceptions, though (for example, if there's a hunting dog, it will go with the person who's the hunter). It's better by far if you can reach agreement on the pets rather than forcing the court to make a decision.
- You are each entitled to 1/2 of marital property. Note, however, that the court will value the property at fair market value - which will be far, far less than you paid for it, particularly for electronics. Since you are each entitled to 1/2 (it doesn't matter whose credit card was used to pay for it), it's better if you can agree to split it. Alternatively, the person who keeps the majority can reimburse the other person for 1/2 of the value - but since that's based on FMV, you may not be happy with that. Considering that FMV is so low, you will definitely want to work this out between the two of you or in mediation since fighting over it in court is almost certainly going to cost more than letting it go.
- Yes, you need separate lawyers.
- If he violates the protective order, stealing stuff is the least of your worries. You can't prevent him from doing something stupid and illegal. What you can do is to videotape everything in the house and keep a record off-site (perhaps at your parent's house) so that if stuff starts to disappear, you have a record.

Good luck.