What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey
I moved here (New Jersey) from Texas about 13 years ago to marry my "soulmate" that I had met on the Internet. I left my mom, dad, sisters and all my friends to start a new life in a part of the country that has a whole different culture from the south.
Cut to the chase..
Now, 3 mortgages and 2 kids later, my wife of 12 years has informed me that she no longer loves me and wants a divorce.
I have been nothing but a good husband and loving father. I do not drink or smoke, although I am not perfect by any means - I've never cheated, or wanted to cheat on my wife.
My wife now hides her cell phone in her pocket on vibrate, as well as hides all her Internet activity from me as well. The other day I picked up a precription for her that had been at the pharmacy for a week or two. It was birth control pills. So, obviously there must be someone else in her life that she is either having sex with or wants to have sex with in the near future.
She makes good money working for a company in Manhattan. Her salary has always been way larger than mine. For I have had to take smaller paying odd jobs because I have been playing "Mr. Mom" since our first was born in 2000.
(We have a 9 year old and a 4 year old, both boys, both beautiful and healthy.
I absolutely love my sons more than life itself. The thought of only seeing them every other weekend and on Wednesdays makes me so sick to my stomach that I cannot eat. And this will be ONLY if I can find a job that can pay me enough to live anywhere close enough to them to still be able to be their father and have a meaningful relationship.
The catch is, my wife has given me until the end of the summer to get a job and a place to live. 3 months. And in this struggling economy, especially New Jersey, my fear is I will not be able to reach this goal in time and I will be homeless.
Any money I made went to the second car payment and the rest to my wife.
All my clothes have holes in them while my wifes wardrobe is neverending clean and new. She takes all her laundry to the dry cleaners, gets her nails and hair done as often as she likes. She has taken many vacations on her own.
Just a month before she told me she wanted a divorce, we had both signed off on our third mortgage to help minimize our monthly payments. I also agreed to let her transfer $6000 worth of (mostly her) credit card debt into a card in my name to help consolidate payments.
So now.. Her life is better, easier.. and I have a $6000 credit card debt, a car payment and no real job to speak of and she is giving me 3 months to get my life together? Talk about a professional hit. I would have preferred a bullet to the head honestly.
She also wants to use a mediator instead of a lawyer to save money.
As I think about all the things shes done and left me with. Most of my friends and family suggest I get a lawyer.
When I mentioned a lawyer to my wife, she got VERY nervous and upset.
I havent been served the divorce papers yet. However I know she is waiting for something "important" to come in the mail because she rushes out to check every day.
Without a job, I would imagine getting a lawyer would be next to impossible.
I guess I don't have a question as much as I just need advice for what someone in my position could do.
I'm 49 years old and starting all over from square one in a state that I have no friends or family in appears as though I am doomed.
My biggest fear is I'll have to move back to Texas and never see the two people I've ever truely loved in my whole life.. my sons. I absolutely need them in my life.
My wife drinks and is now smoking up to a pack of cigs a day. She has very little patience for taking care of the kids and yells at them for no reason. This makes me very sad to know that not only my life, but their life may be ruined just because someone got tired of waking up to see my face everyday.
I need help.
-B-What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I moved here (New Jersey) from Texas about 13 years ago to marry my "soulmate" that I had met on the Internet. I left my mom, dad, sisters and all my friends to start a new life in a part of the country that has a whole different culture from the south.
Cut to the chase..
Now, 3 mortgages and 2 kids later, my wife of 12 years has informed me that she no longer loves me and wants a divorce.
I have been nothing but a good husband and loving father. I do not drink or smoke, although I am not perfect by any means - I've never cheated, or wanted to cheat on my wife.
My wife now hides her cell phone in her pocket on vibrate, as well as hides all her Internet activity from me as well. The other day I picked up a precription for her that had been at the pharmacy for a week or two. It was birth control pills. So, obviously there must be someone else in her life that she is either having sex with or wants to have sex with in the near future.
She makes good money working for a company in Manhattan. Her salary has always been way larger than mine. For I have had to take smaller paying odd jobs because I have been playing "Mr. Mom" since our first was born in 2000.
(We have a 9 year old and a 4 year old, both boys, both beautiful and healthy.
I absolutely love my sons more than life itself. The thought of only seeing them every other weekend and on Wednesdays makes me so sick to my stomach that I cannot eat. And this will be ONLY if I can find a job that can pay me enough to live anywhere close enough to them to still be able to be their father and have a meaningful relationship.
The catch is, my wife has given me until the end of the summer to get a job and a place to live. 3 months. And in this struggling economy, especially New Jersey, my fear is I will not be able to reach this goal in time and I will be homeless.
Any money I made went to the second car payment and the rest to my wife.
All my clothes have holes in them while my wifes wardrobe is neverending clean and new. She takes all her laundry to the dry cleaners, gets her nails and hair done as often as she likes. She has taken many vacations on her own.
Just a month before she told me she wanted a divorce, we had both signed off on our third mortgage to help minimize our monthly payments. I also agreed to let her transfer $6000 worth of (mostly her) credit card debt into a card in my name to help consolidate payments.
So now.. Her life is better, easier.. and I have a $6000 credit card debt, a car payment and no real job to speak of and she is giving me 3 months to get my life together? Talk about a professional hit. I would have preferred a bullet to the head honestly.
She also wants to use a mediator instead of a lawyer to save money.
As I think about all the things shes done and left me with. Most of my friends and family suggest I get a lawyer.
When I mentioned a lawyer to my wife, she got VERY nervous and upset.
I havent been served the divorce papers yet. However I know she is waiting for something "important" to come in the mail because she rushes out to check every day.
Without a job, I would imagine getting a lawyer would be next to impossible.
I guess I don't have a question as much as I just need advice for what someone in my position could do.
I'm 49 years old and starting all over from square one in a state that I have no friends or family in appears as though I am doomed.
My biggest fear is I'll have to move back to Texas and never see the two people I've ever truely loved in my whole life.. my sons. I absolutely need them in my life.
My wife drinks and is now smoking up to a pack of cigs a day. She has very little patience for taking care of the kids and yells at them for no reason. This makes me very sad to know that not only my life, but their life may be ruined just because someone got tired of waking up to see my face everyday.
I need help.
-B-What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?