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Seperation, Not Married!

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neveragain72

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I have been living with my girfriend for 3 1/2 years in Virginia. We are going through seperation and have certian items that we bought together. Mainly in her name since my credit was not good at the time. She decided to spend about $80000 in home renovations on her line of credit in 2006 which we still owe (its in her name). I have paid for all bills in the past 8 months as she has not had any income. We have a joint account and all of the money in there right now is mine but she has access to it. She is treatning me with palimony or taking me to court for her debt. Everything that is in the house 80% of the debt for them was paid by me which I can prove through her income and mine and the activities in our account.

5 months ago, my manager and I had a party at our house which she believes drugs took place in the property (it did not and nore there is proof, but we did watch a few pron movies). She is also treatning to go to my superiors and complain to get me fired. Is this even legal?

I am constanlty being monitored by her, my work email gets checked by her when I am working from home when I step away from my office. I am lost and feel like I am trapped. What are my options? What rights does she have? Please help.
 


TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Despite the quasi-divorce proceeding suggested by the word, "palimony" is not a legal term and has never been used by the California Supreme Court. The legal term, at least in California, is "non-marital relationship contract", and because the relationship is non-marital, the family courts have no jurisdiction. Disputes over contract terms are civil cases, thus enforcement is left to trial courts, or in California, "superior court".

Non-marital relationship contracts are not limited to two people, and because these contracts are non-marital, any party can also be party to a marriage.

Palimony is a popular term, not a historically legal one, used to describe the division of financial assets and real property on the termination of a personal, live-in relationship wherein the parties are not legally married. Unlike alimony, which is typically provided for by law, palimony is not guaranteed to unmarried partners. There must be a clear agreement, written or oral, by both partners stipulating the extent of financial sharing and/or support in order for palimony to be granted. Palimony cases are determined in civil court as a contract matter, rather than in family court, as in cases of divorce.[2]


Marvin v. Marvin
Michelle Marvin claimed that Lee Marvin, who was still married at the time they began living together, had promised to support her for the rest of her life. In the end, in Marvin v. Marvin, the California Supreme Court ruled that Michelle Marvin had not proven the existence of a contract between herself and Mr. Marvin that gave her an interest in his property. Thus, the common law rule applied to the situation without alteration, and she took away from the relationship and the household what she brought to it.

The Court went on to explain that while the state abolished common law marriage in 1896, California law recognizes non-marital relationship contracts. These contracts may be express or implied, oral or written--but they must be provable in any case. The contract may also provide for a sexual relationship as long as it is not a contract for sexual services. Eventually, the California Court of Appeal ruled that since Triola and Lee Marvin never had any contract, she was entitled to no money.[3]


Notable cases
In 1982, famous pianist Liberace was sued for US$113 million in palimony by his partner Scott Thorson. Though most of Thorson's claim was dismissed, he received a US$95,000 settlement.
Judy Nelson filed a palimony suit against women's tennis star ******a Navratilova after their breakup in 1991.
In 1996, Van Cliburn was sued by former partner, Thomas Zaremba, for a share of his income and assets following a 17-year relationship ending in 1994. Zaremba's palimony case was dismissed for lack of written agreement, along with claims for emotional distress and that Cliburn subjected him to the fear of AIDS through Cliburn's alleged unprotected liaisons with third parties.[4][5]
Gay Canadian figure skater, Brian Orser, was sued by a former lover in 1998, outing the star in the process.
In 2004, comedian Bill Maher was sued for US$9 million by his ex-girlfriend, Nancy Johnson a.k.a. "Coco Johnsen". On May 2, 2005, a California Superior Court judge dismissed the case.

Palimony in popular culture
The character Albert Goldman played by Nathan Lane, in the 1996 film The Birdcage asks for a palimony agreement from his partner, Armand Goldman played by Robin Williams.

Palimony was used as a form of revenge by the Bridgette Wilson character, Chelsea Turner against her character's boyfriend Seth Winnick played by French Stewart) in the 1999 film Love Stinks.

Included in the liner notes for Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet album is a thank you to the group's "expensive lawyers" for helping them to negotiate alimony and palimony payments.
http://www.answers.com/topic/palimony

The thought process on posting something that deliberately says CALIFORNIA is that I have found ZERO reference to it in Virginia. Note that this would be a contractual issue and NOT a family court issue since you were not married.
 

neveragain72

Junior Member
http://www.answers.com/topic/palimony

The thought process on posting something that deliberately says CALIFORNIA is that I have found ZERO reference to it in Virginia. Note that this would be a contractual issue and NOT a family court issue since you were not married.
Thank you for the clarification. Can you also help me regarding my other questions? Can she really report false accusations to my employer regarding what may have taken place at a party 6 months ago? Is that called Slander?

To be clear, I dont care for any of the items we purchased toghether, she can keep them all. I am worried about my assets such as cash in the account and 401k. As I mentioned earlier, she has no income and I have paid all of our bills including her car bill, health insurance, medications etc..
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I have been living with my girfriend for 3 1/2 years in Virginia. We are going through seperation and have certian items that we bought together. Mainly in her name since my credit was not good at the time. She decided to spend about $80000 in home renovations on her line of credit in 2006 which we still owe (its in her name). I have paid for all bills in the past 8 months as she has not had any income. We have a joint account and all of the money in there right now is mine but she has access to it. She is treatning me with palimony or taking me to court for her debt. Everything that is in the house 80% of the debt for them was paid by me which I can prove through her income and mine and the activities in our account.

5 months ago, my manager and I had a party at our house which she believes drugs took place in the property (it did not and nore there is proof, but we did watch a few pron movies). She is also treatning to go to my superiors and complain to get me fired. Is this even legal?

I am constanlty being monitored by her, my work email gets checked by her when I am working from home when I step away from my office. I am lost and feel like I am trapped. What are my options? What rights does she have? Please help.
Who owns the home? Whose name is on the mortgage and deed? How much is owed on the primary mortgage?
 

neveragain72

Junior Member
Who owns the home? Whose name is on the mortgage and deed? How much is owed on the primary mortgage?
Her name is on the mortgage/deed, there is a 1st and 2nd trust on the property. Total owed is 1st rust of 300k and 2nd trust of 100k. My name is not on the mortgage. She owned the property when I moved in, the 80k in renevoations were done after I moved in and she used the line of credit (heloc) for the cost.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Her name is on the mortgage/deed, there is a 1st and 2nd trust on the property. Total owed is 1st rust of 300k and 2nd trust of 100k. My name is not on the mortgage. She owned the property when I moved in, the 80k in renevoations were done after I moved in and she used the line of credit (heloc) for the cost.
Go see an attorney. You've messed things up enough on your own that you shouldn't be trying to fix this yourself.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I have been living with my girfriend for 3 1/2 years in Virginia. We are going through seperation and have certian items that we bought together. Mainly in her name since my credit was not good at the time. She decided to spend about $80000 in home renovations on her line of credit in 2006 which we still owe (its in her name).

She is treatning me with palimony or taking me to court for her debt.
Her name is on the mortgage/deed, there is a 1st and 2nd trust on the property. Total owed is 1st rust of 300k and 2nd trust of 100k. My name is not on the mortgage. She owned the property when I moved in, the 80k in renevoations were done after I moved in and she used the line of credit (heloc) for the cost.



A. Even if you were actually MARRIED to each other, 3 1/2 years is way too short a period for any real SS to be owed. "Palimony" in a three year marriage is ridiculous. I'm not aware of any Virginia palimony law.

B. The house is 100% hers. You have no rights to it, nor to any post cohabitation accrual in value.

C. The mortgage debt is 100% hers, at least as far as her improvements under her credit to her home. The mortgages were taken in her name to improve her home, using her qualifying factors. She is the sole party that benefits from these purchases, as they went into HER solely owned home.

D. Other, non real estate debt and assets acquired while together should be divied up based on who bought them (or recieved them, if a gift) and who is responsible for any remaining debt assumed to purchase them.
 
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