Divorce with an affair during seperation

gapiech · May 19, 2009

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

My husband and I have been married for three years. We do not have children, we own a home and have some credit card debt. Our home and credit card debt is in his name only. He was very controlling, telling me what to wear, how to spend money, not allowing me to have any rights on our accounts. He became very mean and started belittling me and snapping at me, making me walk on egg shells with everything. March 2008, I moved out and started living with my parents, during this time I continued paying for 20% of the house, the furniture, water, gas, my car and odd credit card balances. In August I lost my job and could no longer pay for all the different bills, so I only paid for my car and my credit cards. I starting making friends and had an affair with another guy that lasted 2 weeks in another state. We ended it, and now my husband wants me to pay $3000 in credit card debt and does not want me to get my wedding ring, furniture, and money that I paid for his living expenses in our home during our separation.

What can I do to get a fair settlement? Can the judge force us to sell our home at the current value which is $20,000 under what we owe? Please help me with making the right decision. Can he hold the affair against me, for his benefit?

mistoffolees · May 19, 2009

gapiech said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

My husband and I have been married for three years. We do not have children, we own a home and have some credit card debt. Our home and credit card debt is in his name only. He was very controlling, telling me what to wear, how to spend money, not allowing me to have any rights on our accounts. He became very mean and started belittling me and snapping at me, making me walk on egg shells with everything. March 2008, I moved out and started living with my parents, during this time I continued paying for 20% of the house, the furniture, water, gas, my car and odd credit card balances. In August I lost my job and could no longer pay for all the different bills, so I only paid for my car and my credit cards. I starting making friends and had an affair with another guy that lasted 2 weeks in another state. We ended it, and now my husband wants me to pay $3000 in credit card debt and does not want me to get my wedding ring, furniture, and money that I paid for his living expenses in our home during our separation.

What can I do to get a fair settlement? Can the judge force us to sell our home at the current value which is $20,000 under what we owe? Please help me with making the right decision. Can he hold the affair against me, for his benefit?

Adultery is grounds for divorce in GA, so he can get a divorce on that basis.

Without adultery, you'd each be entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debt. It is not up to him to decide how much you get - the court does that. The wedding and engagement rings are yours.

Adultery can be used as grounds for denying adultery in Georgia. Since yours is a short term marriage, that's not an issue. It can also affect property division (or, more accurately, property division can be modified based on "The conduct of the parties towards each other during the marriage" - which would seem to include adultery. So you could get less than 1/2 of marital assets and/or more than 1/2 of marital debt.

The court can order you to sell a house. You can prevent that if one of you is willing to take on the house and refinance it - which isn't likely when you're $20 K underwater unless you inject more equity.

Without adultery, you'd each be entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debt. It is not up to him to decide how much you get - the court does that. The wedding and engagement rings are yours.

LdiJ · May 19, 2009

mistoffolees said:
Adultery is grounds for divorce in GA, so he can get a divorce on that basis.

Without adultery, you'd each be entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debt. It is not up to him to decide how much you get - the court does that. The wedding and engagement rings are yours.

Adultery can be used as grounds for denying adultery in Georgia. Since yours is a short term marriage, that's not an issue. It can also affect property division (or, more accurately, property division can be modified based on "The conduct of the parties towards each other during the marriage" - which would seem to include adultery. So you could get less than 1/2 of marital assets and/or more than 1/2 of marital debt.

The court can order you to sell a house. You can prevent that if one of you is willing to take on the house and refinance it - which isn't likely when you're $20 K underwater unless you inject more equity.

Without adultery, you'd each be entitled to 1/2 of marital assets and 1/2 of marital debt. It is not up to him to decide how much you get - the court does that. The wedding and engagement rings are yours.

I am going to disagree slightly. Adultery can factor in, in things like alimony or when one party can be proven to have dissipated marital assets in committing adultery. Its much less of a factor when dealing with purely marital assets and marital debts. They have also been separated for well over a year so I am not sure that adultery would even factor in since it took place after the separation.

If the house is solely in his name, and the mortgage is solely in his name, the judge won't order the house sold. There is no equity to divide therefore the judge would have no interest or reason to order the home sold.

As far as the debts are concerned, I am a bit confused about that one. She stated that everything was in his name only, but later on she stated that she was paying her car payment and her credit cards.

Without a clear picture of the actual financial situation, we really cannot give much advice.

mistoffolees · May 19, 2009

LdiJ said:
I am going to disagree slightly. Adultery can factor in, in things like alimony or when one party can be proven to have dissipated marital assets in committing adultery. Its much less of a factor when dealing with purely marital assets and marital debts. They have also been separated for well over a year so I am not sure that adultery would even factor in since it took place after the separation.

Unfortunately, Georgia law is not interested in your opinions.

In Georiga, the judge is allowed to consider adultery in the property division as I stated. Whether they were separated or not, she committed adultery.

Any particular judge might not consider it, but the law allows them to- as I stated.

LdiJ · May 20, 2009

mistoffolees said:
Unfortunately, Georgia law is not interested in your opinions.

In Georiga, the judge is allowed to consider adultery in the property division as I stated. Whether they were separated or not, she committed adultery.

Any particular judge might not consider it, but the law allows them to- as I stated.

Of course the law allows a judge to consider that. The law allows a judge to consider something like that in any equitable division state. The question is whether or not judges would routinely consider that.

In this instance, adultery did not break up the marriage. The adultery came long after the marriage was "broken".

Divorce with an affair during seperation

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gapiech

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