Ex Husb in CA Cancels Decree Health Insur

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I'll try to convey this situation succinctly. Thank you.

Divorce happened 4 years ago.

Ex-husband in CA. Ex-wife and minor child now in TX.

Ex-husband taking vindictive, spiteful, immature actions.

Ex-husband cancelled phone service (cell), auto insurance, and 62 days ago cancelled ex-wife's health insurance.

All violations of Divorce Decree.

Ex-wife has attorney. Ex-wife has no medical coverage and has pre-existing conditions and current medical care was in progress for non-life threatening (at least currently) dis-eases.

Ex-husband should have enrolled ex-wife and son via COBRA when divorce was finalized. He did not.

Ex-husband's company only has open enrollment once a year (Christmas/January). Ex-husband's company says there is nothing they can do about ex-husband canceling insurance.

- I have been told that ex-wife needs to see if attorney has filed contempt action.

- I have been told that the only recourse may be far in the future monetary, for him (ex husband) to pay her bills until she can get coverage - meanwhile, she (ex-wife) doesn't have the money to pay her medical bills now.

Questions: 1. Is the ex-husband's Company Human Resources under no obligation to tell terminated ex-spouse of employee that they have been dropped from medical insurance?

2. Is ex-wife's only recourse to try to get government health coverage (she's in TX), or negotiate with physicians to wait for payment pending and her attorney to petition judge to fine him, pay more than half a year's accrued medical bills, or suffer in current medical conditions (example: diabetes) and continue to do her best for their minor son who lives with her?

I am ashamed to say that the ex-husband is my brother. That he would do something as reprehensible as canceling the health insurance of the mother of his child in who lives in another state and leave her to suffer her health problems and do her best by their minor son daily makes me embarrassed and ashamed to be his sister.

How is he legally allowed to carry her on his insurance 4 years AFTER the divorce? COBRA should have kicked in per federal law at the divorce.

Ohiogal said:

How is he legally allowed to carry her on his insurance 4 years AFTER the divorce? COBRA should have kicked in per federal law at the divorce.

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I agree. You can only apply for COBRA during a fairly short window after losign a job or getting a divorce and then it only runs for 18 months.

I'm skeptical about the claim that he was to be paying her cell phone and auto insurance for years after the decree, as well.

I'd suggest that OP start by telling us exactly what the divorce decree says wrt cell phone, auto insurance, and health insurance and we'll go from there. In addition, are there any court-ordered modifications to the decree during those 4 years.

Oh, and make sure to post the FINAL decree, not the temporary orders.

I Need to Get More Information

Thank you for your replies.

Mistoffelees, you are I are of the same mind. My ex-sister in law is not forthcoming with information as she could be with the person who is paying for her lawyer. I'm doing this for my nephew.

I will diplomatically ask her for official documents.

Why are people allowed to marry so freely (without a psych eval or credit check)? What a mess.

sessna1 said:

Thank you for your replies.

Mistoffelees, you are I are of the same mind. My ex-sister in law is not forthcoming with information as she could be with the person who is paying for her lawyer. I'm doing this for my nephew.

I will diplomatically ask her for official documents.

Why are people allowed to marry so freely (without a psych eval or credit check)? What a mess.

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It's not the marriage thing that bothers me so much...I'm just convinced that you should have to get parenting license before you breed

Seriously. I dunno. If you need a license before you can get behind the wheel of a car - which doesn't depend upon you at all - surely we should have some sort of licensing before we have kids; they DO depend on us, and are infinitely more needy and fragile.

Sorry about that. Apparently have on my Mrs Grumpypants hat today

sessna1 said:

Thank you for your replies.

Mistoffelees, you are I are of the same mind. My ex-sister in law is not forthcoming with information as she could be with the person who is paying for her lawyer. I'm doing this for my nephew.

I will diplomatically ask her for official documents..

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Or, better yet, let your nephew be an adult and take care of his own affairs.

It doesn't concern you.

mistoffolees said:

Or, better yet, let your nephew be an adult and take care of his own affairs.

It doesn't concern you.

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Psst.. the nephew is a MINOR child.

Ohiogal said:

Psst.. the nephew is a MINOR child.

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Sorry. She should let the sister-in-law be an adult and take care of her affairs.

She's getting involved in her brother's divorce without having the facts or knowing any of the details.

If she feels that the nephew is being neglected, she can deal with that directly (either helping the nephew out or calling CPS). Meddling in someone else's divorce isn't the way to do it.

She's getting involved in her brother's divorce without having the facts or knowing any of the details.

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Absolutely.

Sorry. She should let the sister-in-law be an adult and take care of her affairs.

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Sister also needs to grow up and communicate better with her brother, rather than be antagonistic toward him with only half the story and without the benefit of all the details. Without a decree in hand, sis can only rely on ex sister-in-laws opinion that her ex-husband violated the decree.

There could be legitimate reasons for what happened. If divorced in CA, and depending upon the length of the marriage, the insurances could have been part of spousal support. Maybe this came to an end.

Even so, most company insurance plans do not allow for an ex-spouse to collect benefits. The court cannot change this requirement for the benefit of the spouse. It is conceivable the brother may have been ordered to pay health insurance premiums for a period of time. COBRA is at best a short term solution and terribly expensive. It is possible he opted for the least expensive approach of not notifying his company's insurance plan of his divorce and that his ex was no longer a dependent. Which could be problematic if the insurance company found out and decided to take action.

To my response posters _ thank you

Okay, I don’t know if any of you is a child of divorce.

As Alcoholics Anonymous tells us, you can’t make anybody do anything. You can’t control anybody.

I have seen enough broken and never were marriages in my family and the resultant children to see that most of them ended up badly if not dead. I’ll let you call me a fool if the definition is an aunt who doesn’t want to see her nephew become a disturbed, insecure, fretful, angry young boy …. young man…. grown man.

Therefore, ohiogal, we have learned that no entity makes sure that the ex-spouse creates the correct account and procedure with COBRA after a divorce for the departing spouse or the children. That’s a slap in the face. AMEN to what you say in your closing note.

Mistoffolees. Please work with me here. What does a cell phone enable a person to do? Communicate with their parents, paid for. What does auto insurance do? Enable child to be transported with more than a modicum of security under the law. I’ve seen the decree. The ex-husband is to pay the cell phone and half of the auto insurance until child is an adult, turns 18, emancipates, graduates from high school, factors like that.

Mistoffolees, I can’t post official verbiage, you know that. Did I not say that my nephew is a minor? He can’t take care of his own affairs. If you mean my brother, let my brother take care of his own affairs … you’re right. All he’s ever done is mess up his own affairs.

Thanks Ohiogal. Bless you.

Mistoffolees, don’t make me laugh. My own mom had mental health issues and no one called CPS for me. She tried to beat me an no one called CPS for me. She was violent and could have injured me, she drove off and left me a mile from home once. Still, in CPS, I would have been worse off. Spare me the indignity of the reality of CPS as any other option unless the child is an orphan with no grandparents/aunts/uncles. The devil you know is better than the one you don’t once the government is the middleman.

I agree with you Ronin. Now, project that onto your own worst immature, petty, selfish, stubborn, irrational friend or relative with a child under 10 years of age. Both the ex and my brother lie to me. I’m not being played, they are playing themselves.

THEY should have paid for lawyers to work this out when they divorced. This is ALL on them for being cheap, bitter, and stubborn. IF it doesn’t get worked out now, my nephew suffers more. As it stands, seeing his mother cry and upset will mess him up so badly that he’ll hate his father (my brother). Having to move and change schools and churches will mess him up.

Y'all know that a messed up child is more than 50% due to become a messed up adult.

Yeah, why not? Just let it all get messed up without me. I didn’t start this mess. I surely can’t fix it.

You know what? When I get to Heaven, I’m gonna walk straight up to my mother and say, “I tried to help your grandson by getting his legal life resolved. That’s why I got involved on the sidelines. You know my brother is no good. He didn’t pick the best wife either, but he got someone with similarities to his own.”

My mother will say, “I know, baby. You made me proud of you. Let’s go serve Jesus forever.”

sessna1

Ronin and Mistoffolees

Ronin and Mistoffolees,

I tried to PM Ronin but the system won't let me.

Your comments are spot on. I need to mind my own beeswax.

I knew that child's (my nephew) grandmothers - both of them. I couldn't look my mother in the eye in the afterlife or myself in the mirror IF I didn't try something.

I don't believe either of them 100%. They are both lying manipulators of poor character. They have delinquent bills. They tell half-truths and poor little me embellishments. They had them when they were married. I told them to wait, don't get married after three (3) months - but they did ... you see what happened.

She hasn't turned me against my brother. He will ALWAYS be my brother, she will always be the mother of my nephew. I have known my brother's character longer than she ever can (unless I die first). The man put a bottle of ammonia under my nose when I was sleeping on the family couch for cryin' out loud. He also groped me when mom was at work working hard to feed us, post-divorce. Don't tell me that I don't know him. I wouldn't have married his butt - no, Sir. (If I wasn't blood related to him.) No normal woman in her right mind would. By the way, he's engaged again.

I don't need my ex-sister-in-law to shape my opinion, thank you very much.

They are too stupid to figure me out - they can both go to purgatory if it means sparing the child tears. I will push them under the bus for that 7 year old any day of the year.

You should both be so lucky to have a sister like me.

I will always be the daughter of one of my newphew's grandparents, and a friend of another one of his grandparents.

You know the part about the ultimate sacrifice - giving your life for your friend? I can't do that. God has work for me to do. I can only do enough to look myself in the mirror each morning and not be ashamed of what I see.

You try loving a child and see what you won't do for 'em. That's why God made them that way.

I do sincerely thank you for your response and feedback.

sessna1

Keep the child first but let the parents sort it out quite frankly. Love your nephew and tolerate the parents.

Solomon

You sit near the feet of King Solomon, don't you? (That is a compliment from my Christian upbringing.)

Thank you, ohiogal.

sessna1