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Soon to be Ex-wife difficulties

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aandrews7229

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

So my biggest issue- I am in the middle of a divorce. I own a home with my soon to be ex wife but she moved out in October to live with her boyfriend. I am stuck paying the $1200 mortgage payment, utilities for the home, my truck loan, her truck loan, health insurance and insurance on the trucks. I have also began a relationship with someone else. My ex will not allow her to be in the home and especially not move in with me. I have heard many people tell me that since she "abandoned" the home I can do whatever I want. I am working on getting her name off the mortgage, but I need to refinance and my credit score dropped due to her paying some utility bills late while we were living together. That was my number 1 question/

My 2nd biggest issue is she filed our taxes jointly and will not give me my tax money. She said that she has put the money in an account that I'm not on. She said that it is child support I owe her. Yet, we have not gone to court for child support or visitation. She has no court order. She said if I pursued the tax money as a legal matter I would just be laughed at.

I love my daughter very much and I am only allowed to see her 3 days/week for 3-4 hours. She uses her as a defense towards me concerning the money and the other things. My new significant other was not allowed to ever be around her but I recently started bringing her around anyways because I don't think it's fair. If my ex gets angry with me, she will not me to see my daughter. I just got to see her yesterday for the first time in a week because I wouldn't apologize to her for something.

Any help is appreciated! :confused:
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
How old is your daughter? And why do you and your wife think it's appropriate to bring your daughter into the middle of your new relationships while you're still married?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

So my biggest issue- I am in the middle of a divorce. I own a home with my soon to be ex wife but she moved out in October to live with her boyfriend. I am stuck paying the $1200 mortgage payment, utilities for the home, my truck loan, her truck loan, health insurance and insurance on the trucks.
Why are you paying her truck loan? And insurance on her truck? Has either of you filed for divorce yet?

I have also began a relationship with someone else. My ex will not allow her to be in the home and especially not move in with me.
You and your ex are both in the wrong -- neither of you should be involved or living with someone until the divorce is final.

I have heard many people tell me that since she "abandoned" the home I can do whatever I want.
Wrong.
I am working on getting her name off the mortgage, but I need to refinance and my credit score dropped due to her paying some utility bills late while we were living together. That was my number 1 question/
Why are you trying refinance in the MIDDLE of a divorce. Until the court awards you the house DO NOT DO THAT. That is just utter stupidity.

My 2nd biggest issue is she filed our taxes jointly and will not give me my tax money. She said that she has put the money in an account that I'm not on.
How did she file jointly? How did she cash the check? That is considered marital income.

She said that it is child support I owe her. Yet, we have not gone to court for child support or visitation. She has no court order. She said if I pursued the tax money as a legal matter I would just be laughed at.
Why are you taking legal advice from her?

I love my daughter very much and I am only allowed to see her 3 days/week for 3-4 hours.
Says who?
She uses her as a defense towards me concerning the money and the other things. My new significant other was not allowed to ever be around her but I recently started bringing her around anyways because I don't think it's fair.
That is such a mature attitude. :rolleyes:

If my ex gets angry with me, she will not me to see my daughter. I just got to see her yesterday for the first time in a week because I wouldn't apologize to her for something.

Any help is appreciated! :confused:

Get a court order for visitation and support and sue for half the marital property.
 

aandrews7229

Junior Member
Papers have been filed for divorce. We are waiting for a court date. I have taken my required parenting classes, hers are in June, we will get a court date after that.

Her truck is in my name, as well insurance.

Why are you trying refinance in the MIDDLE of a divorce. Until the court awards you the house DO NOT DO THAT. That is just utter stupidity.
-This is great advice. I wasn't sure what the best to do would be.
I am doing my very best dealing with this, as it is my first divorce. I apologize if I seem less than educated about the matter. That is why I came here, for any advice or knowledge you had to offer.

As far as the tax check goes, I don't know if it is just a bluff. She said she had it direct deposited into an account that still has both of our names on it and took the money out and moved it to an account of her own.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Papers have been filed for divorce. We are waiting for a court date. I have taken my required parenting classes, hers are in June, we will get a court date after that.

Her truck is in my name, as well insurance.

Why are you trying refinance in the MIDDLE of a divorce. Until the court awards you the house DO NOT DO THAT. That is just utter stupidity.
-This is great advice. I wasn't sure what the best to do would be.
I am doing my very best dealing with this, as it is my first divorce.

I understand that and my advice is to make it your LAST divorce!

I apologize if I seem less than educated about the matter. That is why I came here, for any advice or knowledge you had to offer.

As far as the tax check goes, I don't know if it is just a bluff. She said she had it direct deposited into an account that still has both of our names on it and took the money out and moved it to an account of her own.
There are people on this site who would recommend you be thrown in jail if it were YOU who with held the tax money from her. I'm a little surprised they haven't commented about that yet.:confused:
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
There are people on this site who would recommend you be thrown in jail if it were YOU who with held the tax money from her. I'm a little surprised they haven't commented about that yet.:confused:
I have never said that Bali. I want to know how she filed without his permission however. Or if she had his permission. Or if he filed by himself.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Papers have been filed for divorce. We are waiting for a court date. I have taken my required parenting classes, hers are in June, we will get a court date after that.

Her truck is in my name, as well insurance.

Why are you trying refinance in the MIDDLE of a divorce. Until the court awards you the house DO NOT DO THAT. That is just utter stupidity.
-This is great advice. I wasn't sure what the best to do would be.
I am doing my very best dealing with this, as it is my first divorce. I apologize if I seem less than educated about the matter. That is why I came here, for any advice or knowledge you had to offer.

As far as the tax check goes, I don't know if it is just a bluff. She said she had it direct deposited into an account that still has both of our names on it and took the money out and moved it to an account of her own.
I am going to disagree with the bolded advice slightly. You should not refinance before the divorce is final and you have been awarded the home. However, if you think that you may have trouble doing so its actually very wise to be working on the refinancing now, so that you will know for certain whether or not you will be able to do it, prior to a final property settlement being made. You simply should not close until the divorce is final.

She will have to account for the tax money in the divorce. That is going to be part of the property settlement because its marital funds. Therefore one way or the other you will get credit for 1/2 of the refund. If it was deposited into a joint account and then she moved it, she did nothing illegal, but again, she must account for it and it must be factored into the property settlement.

I understand why you are continuing to pay her car payment and her insurance. You are protecting your own credit and your own finances by doing so. However, those are things that need to be moved to her side of the ledger as soon as possible.
 

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