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Ex Wife Drama

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN

My mother passed away unexpectedly on December 26, 2007. In her will, she left me (her only child) her share of some land she co-owned with two other siblings. Everything else- house, cars, clothes, jewelry, furniture, etc.- she left to her spouse (my stepdad).

A few weeks ago, my stepdad remarried and moved to a different state. He abandoned the house that he and my mother shared and let it go into foreclosure. He left everything behind, including my moms ashes. He gave a key to the house to a neighbor, "C", and allegedly told her to do whatever she wanted with all the contents.

A family member, "M", contacted me to let me know what was happening, so I told them I wanted to make arrangements to get to my moms house to salvage some items of sentimental value- family pictures, her journals, etc. Things that reminded me of my mom and my childhood; nothing of any monetary value by any means- just sentimental things. "M" offered to call the neighbor who had the key and told her that I was wanting go through my moms house. She said that would be fine.

I found out a few days later that the neighbor contacted my ex wife and invited her to come get what she wanted, and she did. She drove four hours to my moms house and took everything she wanted for herself. When I found out about this I confronted her about it. Turns out she had no intentions of telling me what she'd done- I wasn't supposed to even find out! She and the neighbor had planned to keep it all a secret. She offered to return some of my mothers things to me, but kept a good portion for herself, and is refusing to give the rest to me. She's also refusing to tell me what all she took.

I know there is probably nothing that I can do legally, because my stepdad abandoned everything and told the neighbor they could do what they wanted, and the neighbor let my ex in the house, but this has been very upsetting to me. The will and the house is still in probate. I know that my stepdad couldn't care less what happens to my mom's things, but I do. What is the best way to handle this? Am I just out of luck?
 


proud_parent

Senior Member
Considering what I know of your ex, I can't say I'm surprised. Still, I'm dumbfounded that even she would stoop this low. :eek:

I can offer you only my continued best wishes, and a reminder that whatever that beyotch may have absconded with, she cannot steal your memories of your mother.

Hang on for those who may be able to offer relevant legal advice .
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I really don't know what to say...your mother left everything to your stepdad, and he basically gave it all away to the neighbor. Therefore I don't think that the neighbor or your skank of an ex (pardon my language) did anything illegal.

Just get in there as quickly as you can and get everything that matters to you, before the neighbor changes his/her mind and decides that it all belongs to him/her.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Is the house actually in probate, and are you to receive some portion of this estate?

Let's put it this way - you and step dad clearly don't see eye to eye.
 
Is the house actually in probate, and are you to receive some portion of this estate?

Let's put it this way - you and step dad clearly don't see eye to eye.
The will is in probate, but the only thing that seems to be under discussion is the land. Not the house. She left everything else to my stepdad, I am not getting anything but the land.
 

xylene

Senior Member
She left everything else to my stepdad, I am not getting anything but the land.
I'm sorry. I guess I am not grasping what claim you have on any of it.

If step-dad wanted to throw HIS stuff away - that doesn't make it yours.

Even if - it was sentimental, even if - throwing it away was a total dick move, even if - it meant your estranged wife got some of it.

Get what you can by salvage and try to move on. Being hurt and wrathful doesn't help.
I know.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
My mother passed away unexpectedly on December 26, 2007. In her will, she left me (her only child) her share of some land she co-owned with two other siblings. Everything else- house, cars, clothes, jewelry, furniture, etc.- she left to her spouse (my stepdad).
As you've been told, that's the key piece of information in your story. You have no rights to any of her clothing, jewelry, furniture, personal effects, etc.

Take whatever the neighbor is willing to let you have and be done with it.
 
I never said I had rights to it. I know I don't. It's more of a moral battle, not a legal one.

My ex finally met with me tonight and returned all of the items, after my stepdad called her and told her to. She apologized and said she is just bitter and angry with me.

All is not well, but at least I have my mothers belongings.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I never said I had rights to it. I know I don't. It's more of a moral battle, not a legal one.

My ex finally met with me tonight and returned all of the items, after my stepdad called her and told her to. She apologized and said she is just bitter and angry with me.

All is not well, but at least I have my mothers belongings.
I'm glad you got your mothers things...:)

And this just made me LOL!!:
She apologized and said she is just bitter and angry with me.
A bit of an understatement!!:rolleyes:

Next time you talk to the skank tell her baystategirl (I have obviously changed my user name) says "hello". :p
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
The will is in probate, but the only thing that seems to be under discussion is the land. Not the house. She left everything else to my stepdad, I am not getting anything but the land.
The house is different than your MOTHER'S personal property inside.Even with a will stating stepdad gets everything inside the house it has to go through probate. As such until probate is closed and determinations as to property are made no one can do much of anything. Your ex-wife had NO RIGHTS to any of this. Has the court determined that the will is valid and closed probate on your mother's estate?
 
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xylene

Senior Member
The house is different than your MOTHER'S personal property inside.Even with a will stating stepdad gets everything inside the house it has to go through probate. As such until probate is closed and determinations as to property are made no one can do much of anything. Your ex-wife had NO RIGHTS to any of this. Has the court determined that the will is valid and closed probate on your mother's estate?
The fact is that neither does he.
 
A probate was never started in TN because I was told (by the lawyer who drew up my moms will) that probate had to be done in Missouri, where the land is. Should I start a SECOND probate, for the home, in TN? The house is now empty and probably locked up by the bank. Forclosed on. The will pretty much just addressed the land and "all other marital property" (don't have the specific wording in front of me right now).
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
A probate was never started in TN because I was told (by the lawyer who drew up my moms will) that probate had to be done in Missouri, where the land is. Should I start a SECOND probate, for the home, in TN? The house is now empty and probably locked up by the bank. Forclosed on. The will pretty much just addressed the land and "all other marital property" (don't have the specific wording in front of me right now).
The house may have passed outside of probate. If your stepfather's name was on the home too then it likely did pass outside of probate. However, if its in foreclosure then its kind of a moot point.
 

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