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Yikes - Do I have any Hope?

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Treesgal1

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
Have stayed together for the kids - youngest now graduating. Plan to divorce wife but am scared to death thanks to the "legal system".....She is on disability, received a pension from the job she was working at when she had the car accident causing the disability - received a good settlement and also dabbles secretly with her family members in rent producing projects. I have worked as much as humanly possible with plenty of overtime, have a good 401K and pension accumulating. I have experienced physical abuse - but because she is in a wheel chair and has crocodile tears that can be turned on and off at random, what is my chance of divorcing and being able to afford to live when it is over? Family, neighbors, police, do know of this abuse, but so far, local attorney's have told me I am in for the ride of my life. Just want to go on with my life and be happy! Thanks! PS She does want a divorce, but only if she get EVERYTHING (home, assets, cash, pension, 401k). What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
Have stayed together for the kids - youngest now graduating. Plan to divorce wife but am scared to death thanks to the "legal system".....She is on disability, received a pension from the job she was working at when she had the car accident causing the disability - received a good settlement and also dabbles secretly with her family members in rent producing projects. I have worked as much as humanly possible with plenty of overtime, have a good 401K and pension accumulating. I have experienced physical abuse - but because she is in a wheel chair and has crocodile tears that can be turned on and off at random, what is my chance of divorcing and being able to afford to live when it is over? Family, neighbors, police, do know of this abuse, but so far, local attorney's have told me I am in for the ride of my life. Just want to go on with my life and be happy! Thanks! PS She does want a divorce, but only if she get EVERYTHING (home, assets, cash, pension, 401k). What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Treesgal1? Emphasis on the gal -- you have a wife? In PA? Why the name? Do you have a girlfriend? Is this girlfriend posting?
 

Treesgal1

Junior Member
Treesgal1? Emphasis on the gal -- you have a wife? In PA? Why the name? Do you have a girlfriend? Is this girlfriend posting?
Yes, I am a "gal"......I am posting the question for my male cousin. Have found this site very helpful as I do advocate work for those with disabilities...esp. the SSI information. Sorry for the confusion. I just can't believe he can't pay his fair share but those judges that will see the wife as helpless, in a wheelchair - (she shops till she drops - never home)**************.thought we'd ask!
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Yes, I am a "gal"......I am posting the question for my male cousin. Have found this site very helpful as I do advocate work for those with disabilities...esp. the SSI information. Sorry for the confusion. I just can't believe he can't pay his fair share but those judges that will see the wife as helpless, in a wheelchair - (she shops till she drops - never home)**************.thought we'd ask!
Have your cousin post his questions here. Third parties almost never have all the needed information - and often provide incorrect information.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Have your cousin post his questions here. Third parties almost never have all the needed information - and often provide incorrect information.
On this one I agree.

However, I will also state that I agree with his attorney. He has a long term marriage and a wife who is confined to a wheel chair. She is absolutely going to get 1/2 of the assets that accrued during the marriage (and be responsible for 1/2 of the debts, and assets includes the 401k) but unless her income from the disability is substantial, she is likely to get alimony as well.

He is also going to have a hard time convincing anyone in the courts that he has been physically abused. Crocodile tears or not, she is confined to a wheelchair and her ability to physically abuse him is incredibly limited.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
On this one I agree.

However, I will also state that I agree with his attorney. He has a long term marriage and a wife who is confined to a wheel chair. She is absolutely going to get 1/2 of the assets that accrued during the marriage (and be responsible for 1/2 of the debts, and assets includes the 401k) but unless her income from the disability is substantial, she is likely to get alimony as well.

He is also going to have a hard time convincing anyone in the courts that he has been physically abused. Crocodile tears or not, she is confined to a wheelchair and her ability to physically abuse him is incredibly limited.
The bolded is an incorrect statement. Completely and totally incorrect. It is very possible that she could physically abuse him. She might not be able to hold him down but she could always run him down with her wheelchair, throw things at him, assault him with belongings or pets and various other things. It happens.

What hurts him is that he has not apparently filed charges on the physical abuse. Nor moved for a restraining order.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The bolded is an incorrect statement. Completely and totally incorrect. It is very possible that she could physically abuse him. She might not be able to hold him down but she could always run him down with her wheelchair, throw things at him, assault him with belongings or pets and various other things. It happens.

What hurts him is that he has not apparently filed charges on the physical abuse. Nor moved for a restraining order.
OG, while I understand what you are saying, I also have a brother in law in a wheelchair, and it would be difficult as heck for him to successfully abuse my sister. Yeah, if he was the type he could TRY, but manage to actually do it? The odds are slim.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
OG, while I understand what you are saying, I also have a brother in law in a wheelchair, and it would be difficult as heck for him to successfully abuse my sister. Yeah, if he was the type he could TRY, but manage to actually do it? The odds are slim.
The odds are not slim. The actual damage that could be done is PERHAPS more limited....But an injury can be inflicted. Not everyone in a chair is "feeble".
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
The odds are not slim. The actual damage that could be done is PERHAPS more limited....But an injury can be inflicted. Not everyone in a chair is "feeble".
Especially if he is her caregiver, which necessitates a lot of close contact. Limited, sure. But certainly not non-existent.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The odds are not slim. The actual damage that could be done is PERHAPS more limited....But an injury can be inflicted. Not everyone in a chair is "feeble".
My brother in law isn't feeble at all...but it would take my sister about two seconds to get somewhere where he couldn't hurt her and if she couldn't, all she would have to do is knock his chair over and he would be virtually helpless to avoid her getting away.

Maybe I should rephrase...maybe I should say that it would be a heck of a lot more difficult for someone wheelchair bound to physically abuse someone than someone who was not wheelchair bound.

People who are wheelchair bound either have very strong upper body strength, which means that they really do not need a caretaker, they can handle themselves....or they need a caretaker and have little to no strength at all.

My brother in law has strong upper body strength, and can actually take care of himself, but I still know that it would be almost impossible for him to serously injure my sister...at least more than once.

Lets be realistic here...its chavenistic to say so, but its a disabled woman in a wheelchair and a healthy male who is the alledged victim. Try proving that one is court? Heck, try proving it if its a male in a wheelchair and a healthy woman who is the alledged victim either.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
Lets be realistic here...its chavenistic to say so, but its a disabled woman in a wheelchair and a healthy male who is the alledged victim. Try proving that one is court? Heck, try proving it if its a male in a wheelchair and a healthy woman who is the alledged victim either.
Well, let's split the difference and assume the woman in question is inflicting abuse on her husband, but minimal abuse due to her limitations. Still not acceptable, of course, but it appears he's just going to have to protect himself more effectively. With some effort, he can probably eliminate that issue altogether. Besides, OP has already stated his complaints aren't getting him anywhere. Time to implement Plan B.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
The bolded is an incorrect statement. Completely and totally incorrect. It is very possible that she could physically abuse him. She might not be able to hold him down but she could always run him down with her wheelchair, throw things at him, assault him with belongings or pets and various other things. It happens.

What hurts him is that he has not apparently filed charges on the physical abuse. Nor moved for a restraining order.
Ditto. No charges, means irrelevant
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
What I got from the OP is that he's tried to have her charged, but nobody will take him seriously because she elicits pity for her disability. Apparently, whomever he's complaining to agrees with LdiJ.
 

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