What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
NC
I have a girl friend that wants to leave her husband. She suspects that he is cheating but she doesn't have any real evidence that he is actually doing so. With that said, she still has decided to leave him, she went and got an apt and has moved about 75% of her belongings out, but when she consulted with an attorney about divorcing him, her attorney told her that if she left him that he could have her up for abandonment. So how do one initiate a divorce in the state of North Carolina? Apparently, there is a thin line between abandonment and separation. I know that in most states and at least NC, separation happens once husband and wife begin living separate and apart and at least one of them has the intent to remain separate and apart. How can this happen if when she pursued leaving and got an apt her attorney told her that she needs to be careful and not so quick to leave because he could have her up for abandonment?[/QUOTE]
I am not an attorney, licensed anywhere.
That being said, I do have some layman's knowledge of family law in that state, as I was a resident there. And went through a contentious divorce.
Abandonment is not going to matter for granting the divorce decree itself. However, in NC, getting the divorce decree is the easiest part of the process.
Where abandonment can have an effect is if one of the parties petitions the court for division of property and/or separate maintenance (includes post-separation support and alimony). Abandonment is considered marital fault, however, it does not mandate or bar any particular claims. (Illicit sexual conduct on only the part of the dependent spouse, bars alimony claims; while illicit sexual conduct on only the part of the supporting spouse mandates an alimony award if a claim is made.) I don't know what the required standard of proof is, though. Abandonment can also affect her position in child custody & visitation.
Also, of note, marital torts (alienation of affection & criminal conversation) are alive and well in NC, so I would be very very very careful what you do. If you boink in NC with this woman, you are a) committing a violation of the criminal code, NC does legally prohibit adultery, although it's not necessarily enforced; and b) opening yourself up to a (possibly expensive) marital tort.