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Various questions about divorce in TX

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trex

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I've been married for 9 years now and have 2 young children. I think my wife and I are headed for divorce, so I have some questions:

1) From what I've read divorce in Texas cannot be due to irreconcilable differences, is this correct? There is no adultery, abuse, or any of the other issues that are grounds for divorce with us.

2) My wife has a poor work history. The longest time she worked was for 2 years and it was an easy state job where she worked from home Tues/Thurs and half of Friday. I doubt she can or would want to find something that makes more than $30k/year. My question is whether the judge would still give her the kids considering her income would be so low yet the expenses for them would be more than she could afford even with me paying half (piano, sports, etc)?

3) Largely because she has refused to work for the past 5.5 years we now have approximately $20K in credit card debt. Will she have to pay half of that? I just don't think it would be possible for her to cover this debt and take care of the children properly given her work history.

4) I'm afraid that if she gets the children she would move to another city so she can get financial help from her family. Would a judge typically allow her to move if she is financially unable to care for them by herself (and with me paying my half of it)?

5) I love my children and I'm a huge role model in their life and I'm also their teacher for music, sports, and other things. I would insist on a minimum of joint custody if a lawyer says that she would most likely get custody. What would be my chances of getting joint custody?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I've been married for 9 years now and have 2 young children. I think my wife and I are headed for divorce, so I have some questions:

1) From what I've read divorce in Texas cannot be due to irreconcilable differences, is this correct? There is no adultery, abuse, or any of the other issues that are grounds for divorce with us.

2) My wife has a poor work history. The longest time she worked was for 2 years and it was an easy state job where she worked from home Tues/Thurs and half of Friday. I doubt she can or would want to find something that makes more than $30k/year. My question is whether the judge would still give her the kids considering her income would be so low yet the expenses for them would be more than she could afford even with me paying half (piano, sports, etc)?

3) Largely because she has refused to work for the past 5.5 years we now have approximately $20K in credit card debt. Will she have to pay half of that? I just don't think it would be possible for her to cover this debt and take care of the children properly given her work history.

4) I'm afraid that if she gets the children she would move to another city so she can get financial help from her family. Would a judge typically allow her to move if she is financially unable to care for them by herself (and with me paying my half of it)?

5) I love my children and I'm a huge role model in their life and I'm also their teacher for music, sports, and other things. I would insist on a minimum of joint custody if a lawyer says that she would most likely get custody. What would be my chances of getting joint custody?
1. Irreconcilable differences is not grounds, but 'cruelty' is. While the statute spells out the rules, it is likely that 'cruelty' can be interpreted fairly loosely. Few states (if any) want to force you to stay married if you don't want to. Or, you can live apart for 3 years.

2. Income level is not a significant factor in determining custody. It IS, however, a major factor in determining child support. If you're making a lot more than her and she has primary physical custody, you'll probably be paying a lot more than half of their support cost.

3. You will each get 1/2 of marital debt and 1/2 of marital assets. If there are not enough assets to cover the debt, you may be looking at bankruptcy - unless you choose to take a larger portion of the debt to avoid going through bankruptcy.

4. The court will rule on what is in the children's best interest (or, at least, the court's assessment of that). Generally, if you do nothing, she'll probably be able to move. If you ask the court to make a rule that she can't move without your permission, there's a good chance you'll get that. The fact that she'd be moving closer to her family is in her favor, but not enough to outweigh your rights. HOWEVER, you need to ask the court to restrict moving the kids out of the area.

5. You need to start by differentiating between physical custody (where the kids live) and legal custody (who makes decisions about their education, etc). Unless there's something in your background which affects the custody decision, joint legal custody is pretty much standard in most places.

Physical custody is tougher. If you're in a situation where you can share the kids equally (typically, this means living in the same school district or close enough that one parent can drive them to school AND the two of you need to be able and willing to work to make the kids' lives healthy and happy), then it can be a good solution. In my case, we alternate weeks, but some people do it differently (one has the kids Sunday - Wed and the other Thurs - Sat, for example). Alternating holidays is standard as well. But you have to both be reasonably mature to make that work.

If that doesn't work for the two of you for any reason, then one of you will have to have primary physical custody. That will generally (but not always) be the person who is currently the primary caregiver - although the ultimate decision is based on what's best for the kids. Primary physical custody can be anything from 51% of the time to 99+% of the time. The non-custodial parent can usually get at least alternating holidays, every other weekend, an extended time during the summer and maybe one evening per week, again unless there's something in their background that makes this a bad idea.
 

SIN EATER

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I've been married for 9 years now and have 2 young children. I think my wife and I are headed for divorce, so I have some questions:

1) From what I've read divorce in Texas cannot be due to irreconcilable differences, is this correct? There is no adultery, abuse, or any of the other issues that are grounds for divorce with us.

Yes, in Texas we have no-fault divorce - it's called 'insupportable', meaning the marriage can no longer continue because of differences/discord.
2) My wife has a poor work history. The longest time she worked was for 2 years and it was an easy state job where she worked from home Tues/Thurs and half of Friday. I doubt she can or would want to find something that makes more than $30k/year. My question is whether the judge would still give her the kids considering her income would be so low yet the expenses for them would be more than she could afford even with me paying half (piano, sports, etc)?

The court won't look at her income in deciding who gets 'primary conservatorship' of the kids. (Texas doesn't use the terms 'custody, joint custody or visitation'; 'joint managing conservators is used for full sharing of what other states call 'legal custody' and possession and access is the term used for visitation.
Who has primary conservatorship depends on who can choose the primary residence of the children. This right may be granted without geographic restriction, or may have a county restriction (usually to include contiguous conties).
Tx has 'maintenance', not alimony. There is a cap of three years on maintenance and it is meant to allow a spouse to become trained in a field whereby they will be self-supporting. If she goes on welfare, or medicaid, the Office of the Attorney General will be involved in child and medical support issues.


3) Largely because she has refused to work for the past 5.5 years we now have approximately $20K in credit card debt. Will she have to pay half of that? I just don't think it would be possible for her to cover this debt and take care of the children properly given her work history.

That's negotiable in your divorce proceedings. If there is no agreement, the law states that the property/debts should be divided equally, as long as insupportability of the marriage was the grounds for divorce. If any other grounds are used, the Judge may do an equitable distribution.

4) I'm afraid that if she gets the children she would move to another city so she can get financial help from her family. Would a judge typically allow her to move if she is financially unable to care for them by herself (and with me paying my half of it)?

You should be careful with the initial orders & make sure there is a county restriction.

5) I love my children and I'm a huge role model in their life and I'm also their teacher for music, sports, and other things. I would insist on a minimum of joint custody if a lawyer says that she would most likely get custody. What would be my chances of getting joint custody?
It depends on the Judge, and your filings & proof of how daily you share the children. If you and your wife agree on issues, the Judge will probably just sign the Divorce Decree. If you fight, just take it to trial quickly (line up your witnesses and evidence); a lot of money is wasted in attys talking to attys.

Also: child support in Tx is calc'd on ONLY the 'obligor's' income. The 'obligor' is the one who doesn't get to choose the primary residence of the children. If you're contemplating a 50/50 shared parenting plan with the children, you definitely need an attorney and don't sign any initial orders for less than 50% & don't leave the house until you've spoken with a knowledgable family lawyer.
The cs calc, by statute, is 25% of your net income for 2 m/c (assuming you have no other m/c). 'Net income' is your gross monthly income minus federal taxes & minus any mandatory union dues and minus any cost of health insurance for the minor children only. The 'obligor' also has to provide health insurance, or pay up to an additional 9% of his/her gross income for cash medical support.

Good luck.
Form all your questions before you see a lawyer. Check with your local (County) Bar Association - they frequently have low-cost consultations available, and you can interview several attornies.
Consider the hourly rate of any atty you hire. At 300 an hour, it would cost 5 dollars a minute/50 for ten minutes, for questioning (@ 150 hour, it'll cost 25for ten minutes) , so have your questions and concerns written and organized; try not to chit-chat or vent about matters that don't have a legal remedy in divorce.
Be wary of people from other states giving advice about your state's divorce laws.
Read the Texas Family Code; read Tx lawyer's family law sites & blogs - the Tx State Bar is tasked with ensuring that they are publishing accurate info & they have been strict with oversight.
 

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