silverado1
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
My wife and I are still married but she moved out over 6 years ago. We have been on and off trying to work it out but it is impossible. During that time she has always maintained her apt with the 2 children, ages 10 & 12. I do pay her support and give her money whenever she asks, when I have it. I pay for the kids school clothes and necessities as she is on SSD, which she was not on when we lived together, which I do not have a problem with. But I know now that it is not going to work and I just want to move on. We fight all the time and when I am home, I am a OTR truck driver, and she is mad or in a mood she tells me I can't see the kids. She tells me the kids are rude and disrespectful to her but to be honest the kids are awesome with me and everyone else. I try to tell her it is because she treats them bad, she calls them names, "little ba**ard" "a**holes", and she talks to them as if they were 20 yr olds. She is just miserable and I try to tell her that but then she doesn't let me see them til she is over her mood. The kids are miserable and I think my son is depressed. I have told her to get them in counseling, the kids are on medicaid and I pay the state when they go to the doctors, but she won't.
My older son, from a previous marriage, lives in AZ and he bought tickets for the kids, as well as my ex, to go visit them in AZ. He even bought his son tickets to fly from AZ to NY to get them because they were nervous to ride the plane and then for him to fly back to NY with them and then fly his son back to AZ. So anyway they spent over $2000 on tickets and now she is mad at me, because I told her she couldn't write anymore checks out to "CASH" off my business account because she had wrote out over $1500.00 in 7 weeks without telling me about it, yes she signed my name. So now she said they aren't going. So now everyone is upset, especially my 10 & 12 year old because they are extremely close with my son and his wife & kids. This is just a recent example of how she is. Whenever she is upset with me or in a mood, I don't even have to do anything, she takes it out on the kids.
So I guess my question is what should I do now? I just can't handle it anymore and I want the kids to have some sort of good childhood memories, which they are not getting with how the situation is now. I don't mind paying support and all that but I would like joint custody and a scheduled visitation so she can't say I can't have them. I am home every weekend and sometimes during the week so it isn't like I am gone for a month at a time or anything. Also I started a business a few years after she moved out. Will she have any right to any of it because weren't living together when I started it?
I know this is long but any advise would be greatly appreciated!!
My wife and I are still married but she moved out over 6 years ago. We have been on and off trying to work it out but it is impossible. During that time she has always maintained her apt with the 2 children, ages 10 & 12. I do pay her support and give her money whenever she asks, when I have it. I pay for the kids school clothes and necessities as she is on SSD, which she was not on when we lived together, which I do not have a problem with. But I know now that it is not going to work and I just want to move on. We fight all the time and when I am home, I am a OTR truck driver, and she is mad or in a mood she tells me I can't see the kids. She tells me the kids are rude and disrespectful to her but to be honest the kids are awesome with me and everyone else. I try to tell her it is because she treats them bad, she calls them names, "little ba**ard" "a**holes", and she talks to them as if they were 20 yr olds. She is just miserable and I try to tell her that but then she doesn't let me see them til she is over her mood. The kids are miserable and I think my son is depressed. I have told her to get them in counseling, the kids are on medicaid and I pay the state when they go to the doctors, but she won't.
My older son, from a previous marriage, lives in AZ and he bought tickets for the kids, as well as my ex, to go visit them in AZ. He even bought his son tickets to fly from AZ to NY to get them because they were nervous to ride the plane and then for him to fly back to NY with them and then fly his son back to AZ. So anyway they spent over $2000 on tickets and now she is mad at me, because I told her she couldn't write anymore checks out to "CASH" off my business account because she had wrote out over $1500.00 in 7 weeks without telling me about it, yes she signed my name. So now she said they aren't going. So now everyone is upset, especially my 10 & 12 year old because they are extremely close with my son and his wife & kids. This is just a recent example of how she is. Whenever she is upset with me or in a mood, I don't even have to do anything, she takes it out on the kids.
So I guess my question is what should I do now? I just can't handle it anymore and I want the kids to have some sort of good childhood memories, which they are not getting with how the situation is now. I don't mind paying support and all that but I would like joint custody and a scheduled visitation so she can't say I can't have them. I am home every weekend and sometimes during the week so it isn't like I am gone for a month at a time or anything. Also I started a business a few years after she moved out. Will she have any right to any of it because weren't living together when I started it?
I know this is long but any advise would be greatly appreciated!!