I Don't Want a Divorce!

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

18 days ago my wife suddenly announced that she was unhappy and was going to live with her father. We had not had any major disagreements or discussed separating. I was pretty shocked. She would not discuss the situation or give an explanation. We ended up getting into a pretty heated argument and she left that day. I have tried to contact her by email and she told me that she didn't want any contact with me. I am not ready to give up on our marriage without at least discussing it. Do I have any legal options other than divorce?

Waynster said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

18 days ago my wife suddenly announced that she was unhappy and was going to live with her father. We had not had any major disagreements or discussed separating. I was pretty shocked. She would not discuss the situation or give an explanation. We ended up getting into a pretty heated argument and she left that day. I have tried to contact her by email and she told me that she didn't want any contact with me. I am not ready to give up on our marriage without at least discussing it. Do I have any legal options other than divorce?

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If she wants that divorce, she'll get that divorce eventually. It will happen whether or not you agree to it.

Waynster said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

18 days ago my wife suddenly announced that she was unhappy and was going to live with her father. We had not had any major disagreements or discussed separating. I was pretty shocked. She would not discuss the situation or give an explanation. We ended up getting into a pretty heated argument and she left that day. I have tried to contact her by email and she told me that she didn't want any contact with me. I am not ready to give up on our marriage without at least discussing it. Do I have any legal options other than divorce?

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You have two legal options right now. You can divorce her, you can ignore the fact that she moved out and stay married and wait to see if she divorces you.

There is a third option, but it's not a legal option and not likely to help if she won't even talk to you - that is working to save your marriage with counseling or other efforts. But if she won't even talk with you, don't count on it. You would have to reach her some other way - but do not make unwanted advances or you will be facing a protection order, as well. Your only real chance is if you have a mutual friend who will relay messages.

Of course, that assumes that she doesn't file for divorce. If she files for divorce, she'll get a divorce and you have no say in the matter. It takes two people to be married. You can delay it and make the process very painful for her, but that's just not very likely to bring her back.

Waynster said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

18 days ago my wife suddenly announced that she was unhappy and was going to live with her father. We had not had any major disagreements or discussed separating. I was pretty shocked. She would not discuss the situation or give an explanation. We ended up getting into a pretty heated argument and she left that day. I have tried to contact her by email and she told me that she didn't want any contact with me. I am not ready to give up on our marriage without at least discussing it. Do I have any legal options other than divorce?

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As you have already been told, if she wants a divorce she will get a divorce whether you agree with it or not.

Thanks for the replies. Maybe I shouldn't have said I don't want a divorce. Divorce would be preferred to living in limbo or living with someone who doesn't want to be married. I just wish we could at least try counseling or something before giving up. She has not asked for or filed for divorce. I was mainly wondered if courts ever order marriage counseling or anything of that nature prior to divorce.

Waynster said:

Thanks for the replies. Maybe I shouldn't have said I don't want a divorce. Divorce would be preferred to living in limbo or living with someone who doesn't want to be married. I just wish we could at least try counseling or something before giving up. She has not asked for or filed for divorce. I was mainly wondered if courts ever order marriage counseling or anything of that nature prior to divorce.

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In most cases, no. The courts will not order marriage counseling.

The only exception is covenant marriages in a few states. But you would know if you had a covenant marriage.

In some states, (Kansas is one, see KRS 60-1608), the court can order counseling, upon consideration of a motion by one of the parties. (As far as I know, this is not strictly for covenant marriages.)

That being said, I have no idea how often the motion is made before the court, much less granted. And if one party absolutely refuses to allow the counseling to work, it isn't going to work, and the only effect of the order is to boost the costs and drag the proceedings out.


So there are other exceptions, but you need to examine your state's law very closely.

Golfball said:

In some states, (Kansas is one, see KRS 60-1608), the court can order counseling, upon consideration of a motion by one of the parties. (As far as I know, this is not strictly for covenant marriages.)

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I'd be surprised if that would hold up in court. Sounds too close to involuntary servitude for comfort.

ALSO

You have not stated how long you have been married.

AND

Does she have any grounds legal or emotional for wanting a divorce? Not mentioning anything doesn't mean she doesn't have them.

mistoffolees said:

I'd be surprised if that would hold up in court. Sounds too close to involuntary servitude for comfort.

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I'm guessing that the judge would not grant the motion unless both parties agreed to it. Just a WAG, but if both parties were on record as agreeing with the motion, it would be considerably more difficult to overturn on appeal.

mistoffolees said:

I'd be surprised if that would hold up in court. Sounds too close to involuntary servitude for comfort.

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Golfball is correct. And it is NOT involuntary servitude anymore than ordering parents to a parenting class. What it is meant to do is to either save a marriage or help people cope with the disintegration of the marriage.

Ohiogal said:

Golfball is correct. And it is NOT involuntary servitude anymore than ordering parents to a parenting class. What it is meant to do is to either save a marriage or help people cope with the disintegration of the marriage.

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Right on OG.

Misty has a very warped perspective thinking that mandatory counseling would be involuntary servitude.

And, on the other hand, Misty thinks that working for and paying someone else's way though life instead of them being self supporting wouldn't be involuntary servitude is just plain rediculous.

Bali Hai said:

And, on the other hand, Misty thinks that working for and paying someone else's way though life instead of them being self supporting wouldn't be involuntary servitude is just plain rediculous.

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And Bali seems to think that it's OK to completely fabricate something and pretend that other people said it. Do you EVER get tired of making things up and lying about other people's position?

Bali Hai said:

Right on OG.

Misty has a very warped perspective thinking that mandatory counseling would be involuntary servitude.

And, on the other hand, Misty thinks that working for and paying someone else's way though life instead of them being self supporting wouldn't be involuntary servitude is just plain rediculous.

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If you are going to use the word ridiculous, you should spell it properly.

mistoffolees said:

And Bali seems to think that it's OK to completely fabricate something and pretend that other people said it. Do you EVER get tired of making things up and lying about other people's position?

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What is hard to understand about being bitter, broken and proud of it.