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justice344

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OK

I am living in a Woman's Shelter in Dallas and have been since I left my husband 5 and half months ago. I have been trying to work, but have had trouble maintaining a job due to no real work history (housewife) and PTSD. I left and ran here back home after another attempt on my life an old friend told me to get out during the attack. Well now he has filed for divorce but I haven't received any papers. I know that he has placed an ad in the paper that ask for divorce. But it wasn't in my local paper only his. He knows that I am in dallas. I am trying to afford an attorney since legal aid won't help me because of his income. This comes before our 10 year anniversary. I had to leave everything behind and he destroyed my clothing right before he threw it at me. We had 2 cars when I left, but he refuses to give me one which would have helped. I asked for my things which are actually my mothers and he refused. He refused to even give me my winter coat. I don't know what I am entitled to. I have many health issues and need to have surgery in 8 weeks, due to the fact that he refused to let me go to the doctor when I was there. He is trying to cancel health insurance. Most of my health issues steam from neglect and abuse.
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OK

I am living in a Woman's Shelter in Dallas and have been since I left my husband 5 and half months ago. I have been trying to work, but have had trouble maintaining a job due to no real work history (housewife) and PTSD. I left and ran here back home after another attempt on my life an old friend told me to get out during the attack. Well now he has filed for divorce but I haven't received any papers. I know that he has placed an ad in the paper that ask for divorce. But it wasn't in my local paper only his. He knows that I am in dallas. I am trying to afford an attorney since legal aid won't help me because of his income. This comes before our 10 year anniversary. I had to leave everything behind and he destroyed my clothing right before he threw it at me. We had 2 cars when I left, but he refuses to give me one which would have helped. I asked for my things which are actually my mothers and he refused. He refused to even give me my winter coat. I don't know what I am entitled to. I have many health issues and need to have surgery in 8 weeks, due to the fact that he refused to let me go to the doctor when I was there. He is trying to cancel health insurance. Most of my health issues steam from neglect and abuse.
1. Ask at the Woman's shelter. They can usually offer some advice in cases like this.

2. Go back to legal aid. Explain that you're separated and getting divorced and you have no resources. It's worth a second try. If they still won't help, see if they have a recommendation.

3. It's important for you to be at the hearing. If it has been published in the paper, there should be a way for you to find out when it is AND MAKE SURE YOU GO. Ask the court for temporary use of one of the cars and for him to release your personal belongings AND for him to keep health insurance in place. It is very likely that all of those requests would be granted.

4. If there are sufficient assets and/or he has sufficient income, you may be able to get an attorney to take the case with the expectation of being paid from marital assets. You might need to call a couple of attorneys to work this out.

5. While you're in the Woman's shelter, take advantage of any counseling services they offer. You need to learn to stand on your own. "He wouldn't let you go to the doctor"???? Sorry, but you're an adult (at least, I assume so since you're approaching your 10th anniversary). At some point, you need to start taking responsibility for your own life.

Good luck.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE teach your sons and daughter's to always make sure that each spouse has their own seperete credit, assets, savings etc. And that each spouse has the ability to earn a sustainable income themselves BEFORE either of them leaves the workforce. A woman with her own money and her own earning capacity is less likely to be a victim very long.
 

justice344

Junior Member
Yes I was denied going to the doctor. He controlled the money. And refused to give me any for such a thing.

He does have a separate account. Had one for years with me having no access to it.

The night I left there were 2 cars in the drive way and he is refusing to give me one. He knows I need one to work. Well along with my clothing which he gave to me but destroyed with gasoline.

I have been talking with legal aid and they told me to wait til I get served before they will help me further.

He tried to serve me by publication so I sent in an entry of appearance on my own. He never published in the paper in which I live, but he knows what city I live in. He thinks that if he files before the 10 year mark then he doesn't have to pay alimony but in Oklahoma there is no law, you can get it after 30 days there.

But legal aid said that it is only recognized. By the county clerk. That he is trying. It's not that I am trying to drag this out but I am trying to get legal aid to step up and finally take some action.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Yes I was denied going to the doctor. He controlled the money. And refused to give me any for such a thing.
I already gave you all the advice I could.

And I really want to emphasize the part about learning to stand on your own. Unless he had you chained to your chair, you could have gone to the doctor. The fact that the issue was serious enough that you needed surgery later indicates that you SHOULD have gone. Until you learn to stand on your own, it won't matter if you're married or single - you won't have much of a life. Take advantage of the woman's shelter's counseling services.
 

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