Son Does Not Want to go to His Mom's

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I have Primary residency of my son(9yrs old). This weekend is his moms visitation weekend, my son did not want to go started crying when I told him that he had to go, since he has been there he has called me 5 times to come pick him up. I have talked to his mom and she will not let me pick him up she is insistant that it is her weekend and he is staying, which in the past she has let him stay if he did not want to go.

I am conserbed that something has happened at her house that is causing my son to not want to go there but of course his mom says all is fine and nothing has happend. His mom is with another man which my son does not like, I have talked to my son about this and he says he understand's but i cant help but feel that something has happened to cause him to want to stay with me all the time.

I guess my question is. Can I go pick-up my son if he calls me even though Legally it is his mothers weekend to have him?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

For the billionth time...

A court order is exactly that... an order.

Not a suggestion or a guideline. Not a wish that the judge makes that you can change when you get a "feeling" that something is different.

A court order has the force of law upon those named within... and cannot be changed outside of a court by a judge. Those named in the order cannot vary or depart from that order without the prior WRITTEN consent of the court.

Translation?

Your son goes to his mom's for the entire amount of visitation until you have evidence and present it in a court of law to prove why mom is an unfit parent.

Meanwhile, you are free to take the child to a counselor or psychologist if you think that there's something going on that the child is unwilling to share with you.

Until then, follow cyjeff's advice.

mistoffolees said:

Meanwhile, you are free to take the child to a counselor or psychologist if you think that there's something going on that the child is unwilling to share with you.

Until then, follow cyjeff's advice.

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However, if mom has joint legal custody, she does need to agree to the child seeing a counselor.

LdiJ said:

However, if mom has joint legal custody, she does need to agree to the child seeing a counselor.

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Not really. With joint legal custody, EITHER parent can take the child to a counselor - particularly when there's an issue that only seems to involve the other parent. Mom can object later and ask the court to stop it, but that's not likely to happen.

mistoffolees said:

Not really. With joint legal custody, EITHER parent can take the child to a counselor - particularly when there's an issue that only seems to involve the other parent. Mom can object later and ask the court to stop it, but that's not likely to happen.

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You should hang out on the custody forums and see how often the other parent is able to stop counseling from happening if they do not agree.

LdiJ said:

You should hang out on the custody forums and see how often the other parent is able to stop counseling from happening if they do not agree.

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Yes. It IS sometimes possible to get a court order to stop counseling.

But, at least in practice, and probably in law, as well, a custodial parent who takes a child for counseling has nothing to lose. If his ex objects, she can go screaming back to the court and they MIGHT stop it (OTOH, they might ask the counselor if the child would benefit from it - and continue it, as well). But even in the event that the court stops it, there would be no repercussions to the parent who takes a child for counseling, so there's no harm in his doing so.

mistoffolees said:

Yes. It IS sometimes possible to get a court order to stop counseling.

But, at least in practice, and probably in law, as well, a custodial parent who takes a child for counseling has nothing to lose. If his ex objects, she can go screaming back to the court and they MIGHT stop it (OTOH, they might ask the counselor if the child would benefit from it - and continue it, as well). But even in the event that the court stops it, there would be no repercussions to the parent who takes a child for counseling, so there's no harm in his doing so.

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Actually, I wasn't talking about the court stopping it. I agree with your assessment there.

However, if the other parent contacts the counselor and states that they have joint legal custody and do not agree with their child seeing the counselor, the counselor will decline to treat the child. Counseling is one of those bigger decisions that parents are supposed to agree about, and if they don't, the parent who wants the counseling needs to take it in front of the judge and have the judge order it.

LdiJ said:

Actually, I wasn't talking about the court stopping it. I agree with your assessment there.

However, if the other parent contacts the counselor and states that they have joint legal custody and do not agree with their child seeing the counselor, the counselor will decline to treat the child. Counseling is one of those bigger decisions that parents are supposed to agree about, and if they don't, the parent who wants the counseling needs to take it in front of the judge and have the judge order it.

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Well then, in the best interest of the child, it appears that the father has no other choice than to contact CPS.

LdiJ said:

Actually, I wasn't talking about the court stopping it. I agree with your assessment there.

However, if the other parent contacts the counselor and states that they have joint legal custody and do not agree with their child seeing the counselor, the counselor will decline to treat the child.

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Not necessarily - at least not in ND, OR and WA. Some will certainly refuse to treat, but many will simply go ahead, according to the other parent's wishes and they are legally allowed to do so.

Bali Hai said:

Well then, in the best interest of the child, it appears that the father has no other choice than to contact CPS.

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Well, if he feels that there is legitimate reason to think that the child is in danger, he should do that, anyway - counseling or no counseling.

However, there was nothing in the original post which indicated that their was a health or safety issue, so CPS would have no reason to get involved.

Again, though, if there IS reason to believe the child is in danger, call CPS immediately.

Interesting.


Let me just say the child GOES for visitation. As I told some clients recently, the court may order children (those under 18) to go to visitation but they cannot make them talk. They also cannot make them happy or other wise participatory. (this arose in a CPS situation)

The underlying reasons why junior does NOT want to attend need dealt with. They should NOT be used as an excuse.