Musicosm73
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California.
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 11 years, but things aren't looking too good right now. We're both very unhappy and prefer not to be in each other's company most of the time. I proposed marriage to her last year, but other than that, it has been simply a long-term relationship.
I have a job that started out in her name, then I took over that job so she could focus on her small business. The business is in her name, and both personal and business bank accounts have both our names on them, as well as several credit cards. The credit card debt is a collective $60,000. On top of that, her business isn't doing that well right now.
Over the years, I have acquired several hundred (maybe a couple thousand) dollars in personal property, either by her gifting it to me (birthday, Christmas) or buying it myself. However, since she has always been the breadwinner in the relationship, most of the items I acquired myself have technically been purchased with her money. We've recently started threatening each other to leave, and each time, the anger on both parties becomes overwhelming. So much so, that she claims that she can keep everything because "I bought it with my money!". She applies that statement to both the gifted items and items I bought.
I'm curious as to exactly what I am able to take with me if we break up, both property and cash. I really don't care about most of the items. Starting over without them and acquiring similar property in the future will be a hassle, but it won't be impossible. Further, I'm more than willing to take on the credit card debt that I have accrued, and help out with her debt, if necessary. I would, however, like a few items to take with me if/when I go, including some cash. I'm just curious as to exactly what I am able to take with me if we break up.
Does California common-law marriage factor in? If so, what are the property distribution laws? If a job that was hers is now mine, is she entitled to current and future paychecks? Can she keep any/all the items she gifted me? Can she keep any/all the items I bought with her money? How do we resolve the $60,000 debt? Bankruptcy (it would be her third, my first)? I know I shouldn't - and won't - walk away scott-free. I want to do the right thing. She's put up with me for so long, she deserves at least that.
Thank you very much for your advice!
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 11 years, but things aren't looking too good right now. We're both very unhappy and prefer not to be in each other's company most of the time. I proposed marriage to her last year, but other than that, it has been simply a long-term relationship.
I have a job that started out in her name, then I took over that job so she could focus on her small business. The business is in her name, and both personal and business bank accounts have both our names on them, as well as several credit cards. The credit card debt is a collective $60,000. On top of that, her business isn't doing that well right now.
Over the years, I have acquired several hundred (maybe a couple thousand) dollars in personal property, either by her gifting it to me (birthday, Christmas) or buying it myself. However, since she has always been the breadwinner in the relationship, most of the items I acquired myself have technically been purchased with her money. We've recently started threatening each other to leave, and each time, the anger on both parties becomes overwhelming. So much so, that she claims that she can keep everything because "I bought it with my money!". She applies that statement to both the gifted items and items I bought.
I'm curious as to exactly what I am able to take with me if we break up, both property and cash. I really don't care about most of the items. Starting over without them and acquiring similar property in the future will be a hassle, but it won't be impossible. Further, I'm more than willing to take on the credit card debt that I have accrued, and help out with her debt, if necessary. I would, however, like a few items to take with me if/when I go, including some cash. I'm just curious as to exactly what I am able to take with me if we break up.
Does California common-law marriage factor in? If so, what are the property distribution laws? If a job that was hers is now mine, is she entitled to current and future paychecks? Can she keep any/all the items she gifted me? Can she keep any/all the items I bought with her money? How do we resolve the $60,000 debt? Bankruptcy (it would be her third, my first)? I know I shouldn't - and won't - walk away scott-free. I want to do the right thing. She's put up with me for so long, she deserves at least that.
Thank you very much for your advice!
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