I am a Dumb Kid

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

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24 year old newly wed with massive regrets.

---Today 12-14-09 I just concluded closing on a home in Michigan with my wife as the co-borrower & co-owner of the home.

Long story short, I am naive and have made bad decisions. I do not want to spend the rest of my life with this woman and want to revoke the horrible decisions I have made.

My number one question is, who do I contact to begin the proper proceedings? Or what would you recommend?

*A.D.A.M has high reviews for Michigan people, but I feel my case is somewhat simple and shouldn't require hundreds of man hours to figure out...I figure I would be a low priority as far as a Lawyer would be concerned

My situation is the following:

*Paid for 50% of closing costs 20% down on house

*---Per happy marriage:
Would be paying 95-100% of upkeep and bills on house, wife is student and produces little or no income.
*---Reality:
Will be paying 95-100% of upkeep and bills. Wife is student produces no income and I do not want to support her any longer.

*Recently married, May 09, no other joint ventures other than recently procured home.

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My primary concerns are:

-Can I force her to pay her share (50%) of the principle+bills on the home that she co-signed on and is half owner of?

-Assuming the marital relationship is 100% broken at this point, should I allow her to live in the home rent free, as i Know she cannot afford her share?

-What options do I have as the primary name on deed (but 1 of 2) as far as selling the home?

-Looping back - Do I have options here? What is my best move? I understand employing a lawyer is my best bet...But, and I apologize, I do not know who to contact or what my best move is.

Thank you for reading my post.

gamingguy said:

My primary concerns are:

-Can I force her to pay her share (50%) of the principle+bills on the home that she co-signed on and is half owner of?

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No. You can't get blood out of a stone. You will have to file for divorce. Since she doesn't have an income, you may be paying temporary support while the divorce is pending.

As for the house, do you want it in the long run? If so, when you file for divorce, you ask for temporary possession of the home - and plan to give her 1/2 of the equity in the home (which probably isn't very much right now).

gamingguy said:

-Assuming the marital relationship is 100% broken at this point, should I allow her to live in the home rent free, as i Know she cannot afford her share?

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See above. You can request temporary use of the home or you can allow her to live there while you pay all the expenses or you can both live there. Choose one.

gamingguy said:

-What options do I have as the primary name on deed (but 1 of 2) as far as selling the home?

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You're not going to be able to sell the home until you get a court order. Ask the court to rule on disposition of the home. Either you can keep it if you pay her 1/2 of the equity or you can sell it and split the equity, but you will probably need the court's permission.

gamingguy said:

-Looping back - Do I have options here? What is my best move? I understand employing a lawyer is my best bet...But, and I apologize, I do not know who to contact or what my best move is.

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I would strongly suggest that you call an attorney. The fact that you are unable to answer ANY of the questions for yourself (including how to find an attorney) indicates that you're not going to be capable of handling it on your own.

There is a box on the right hand side of this page that will help you find an attorney. Or ask friends who have been divorced who they used. Or try the yellow pages.


Or consider counseling to see if you can figure out what you want to do. The fact that you're completely negative on the relationship just months after your wedding says that you may not have any idea WHAT you want.

Thank you for the response. I cannot do anything more than apologize for my naiveness

gamingguy said:

Thank you for the response. I cannot do anything more than apologize for my naiveness

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If you believe that you're doomed to fail in all your future endeavours. You can always educate yourself, IF whatever you are entertaining to undertake is important to you.

gamingguy said:

Thank you for the response. I cannot do anything more than apologize for my naiveness

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No need to appologize, you are making a smart decision. Thirty years down the road and your ass would have been hamburger.

Get it done and DO NOT make the same mistake again!!

No wife at all is better than a working wife.

Um, yeah.

Anyhoo...

Have you thought about marriage counseling first?

You just got married and burdened yourself with a big ol' debt.

We have all felt those particular walls closing in.

cyjeff said:

Um, yeah.

Anyhoo...

Have you thought about marriage counseling first?

You just got married and burdened yourself with a big ol' debt.

We have all felt those particular walls closing in.

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I just gave him the best counseling he will ever get, and gave it free!!

Bali Hai said:

No need to appologize, you are making a smart decision. Thirty years down the road and your ass would have been hamburger.

Get it done and DO NOT make the same mistake again!!

No wife at all is better than a working wife.

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Bali - I KNEW you'd be back in true form!

Zigner said:

Bali - I KNEW you'd be back in true form!

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I wonder why he wasn't around in the thread where the woman had a $200 K IRA and the husband only $40 K - and everyone told her she would owe him $80 K.

Or the other recent thread where the woman was likely to end up owing alimony.

mistoffolees said:

I wonder why he wasn't around in the thread where the woman had a $200 K IRA and the husband only $40 K - and everyone told her she would owe him $80 K.

Or the other recent thread where the woman was likely to end up owing alimony.

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These anomolies represent less than .01% (WAG) of divorce cases.

If they were the ONLY two in the history of divorces, you would prop them up as being the norm.

Bali Hai said:

These anomolies represent less than .01% (WAG) of divorce cases.

If they were the ONLY two in the history of divorces, you would prop them up as being the norm.

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I never said they were the norm. You know you've lost an argument when you have to resort to making strawman arguments.

Now, where's your evidence that the woman only pays alimony or has greater assets in 0.01% of divorce cases?

Bali Hai said:

I just gave him the best counseling he will ever get, and gave it free!!

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Not everyone is married to you. Some work out.

mistoffolees said:

I never said they were the norm. You know you've lost an argument when you have to resort to making strawman arguments.

Now, where's your evidence that the woman only pays alimony or has greater assets in 0.01% of divorce cases?

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I told you it was a WAG, and I'm probably on the high side. If you want exact numbers find it out on your own genius.

cyjeff said:

Not everyone is married to you. Some work out.

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Only one got that chance.

Damn few work out these days no matter who it is.

So what's the point of marriage these days other than to give divorce courts something to do and lawyers job?

It isn't worth screwing your life up, so why do it? Marriage is what most women want for some strange reason?? And then they want a divorce for reasons that aren't any clearer!!!

Bali Hai said:

It isn't worth screwing your life up, so why do it? Marriage is what most women want for some strange reason?? And then they want a divorce for reasons that aren't any clearer!!!

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except, in the case of this thread(you F'ing trolls), I wanted the marriage and now I want the divorce (or do i...I;m a dumb kid as Mistoffolees correctly points out).

Holy crap, while I'm very thankful for the advice, you kids (in the sense of participating in forums), don't know how to act eh?

Stop polluting my thread with arguments and start it somewhere else.

That being said...This thread ended, for my purposes, with thanking mistoffolees...so go ahead and argue about senior member posting issues.

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In response to the marriage consoling.

Who is to say that some crock pot, or really intelligent and educated man/woman, is going to properly explain what it is my wife and I have to accomplish to accommodate a lasting and happy marriage?

My wife and I have already broken down these issues and she just doesn't have what it takes to make me happy. I am young and dumb to have idolized her into someone that could do so.

Now I will pay the price for my youthful idiocracy.

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However, in the respect of civility and my own ethics, I at least owe it to her and us to pay the costs of utility, rent and seek marriage consoling.

It doesn't help that this break-down is occurring during her first week of Dental Hygiene exams...I'mah prick ...

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I, again, appreciate the discussion and I do honestly know where my first step (now) is in regards to any divorce proceedings.

I will NOT let this linger for thirty years...My initial goal was to wait until she graduated and then see how things are; that is not fair to me emotionally...and if she can't make me happy now...thEn she never will.


**One grammar edit**