Need Advice

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I'm 23 and I've been married for 4 years. I really can't take living with my husband anymore but can't really afford to move out due to credit card bills. It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about just moving into a one bedroom apartment with my son and just not paying the rest of my bills. I work full time and would be able to afford a one bedroom, my car payment and regular household bills. Would it be a good idea to consult a debt consolidation company to make small payments toward the rest of my outstanding debts? I don't know what to do, I really just want to get out. Also, he is in the military and is stationed about 2 hours away, if I moved out I would want to keep my son with me and have him in the same daycare he's at but my husband would most likely just move back on base (or close to base) and I'm afraid he might try to take our son with him. How likely would it be for my son to be able to stay with me? I don't want full custody but I want at least 50% since I am the one that does everything for him. And if my son did get to stay with me, will I be able to get child support? I would need it to help with daycare. I know I've made a lot of mistakes but I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is appreciated, thank you for reading my long post.

Clarifying

And just to clarify, the outstanding debts (credit cards) I am talking about are all mine. We have always had separate bank accounts and paid our own bills separately. Currently he makes more than double what I make and he pays the rent while I pay the utilities, cable, food, daycare, basically anything that is not rent and goes toward the apartment we live in.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I'm 23 and I've been married for 4 years. I really can't take living with my husband anymore but can't really afford to move out due to credit card bills.

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Why did you run up so much in credit cards? I ask because I read ahead. And apparently you are NOT living with your husband.

It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about just moving into a one bedroom apartment with my son and just not paying the rest of my bills. I work full time and would be able to afford a one bedroom, my car payment and regular household bills. Would it be a good idea to consult a debt consolidation company to make small payments toward the rest of my outstanding debts?

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Debt consolidation can be better than bankruptcy HOWEVER you have not given nearly enough information.

I don't know what to do, I really just want to get out. Also, he is in the military and is stationed about 2 hours away, if I moved out I would want to keep my son with me and have him in the same daycare he's at but my husband would most likely just move back on base (or close to base) and I'm afraid he might try to take our son with him. How likely would it be for my son to be able to stay with me?

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If he is stationed two hours away HOW are you living with him now? Does he commute? Dad has equal rights to custody. Is he deployable?

I don't want full custody but I want at least 50% since I am the one that does everything for him. And if my son did get to stay with me, will I be able to get child support?

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Maybe. Depends on incomes and actual time share and various other things.

I would need it to help with daycare. I know I've made a lot of mistakes but I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is appreciated, thank you for reading my long post.

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What is marital debt and what is not? What assets exist? Was there a prenup? Hint: All debt accruing during marriage is marital debt. All assets acquired during marriage are most likely marital property.

Why did you run up so much in credit cards? I ask because I read ahead. And apparently you are NOT living with your husband.

Because I was/am young and dumb but I'm trying to get back on my feet. And yes I am living with my husband.


Debt consolidation can be better than bankruptcy HOWEVER you have not given nearly enough information.

I have about 3 credit cards in different amounts. Total debt would probably be around $5,000 maybe a little more.


If he is stationed two hours away HOW are you living with him now? Does he commute? Dad has equal rights to custody. Is he deployable?

He does commute and he is non deployable for the next 2 years. However he works a lot so he doesn't always come home everyday, a lot of times he stays on base with friends.


Maybe. Depends on incomes and actual time share and various other things.

He makes double what I make. I would want our son to live with me and my husband could see our son whenever he wants BUT if he was able to live with me, my husband would probably not be able to see our son very much since he works way too much. He says that if he got custody of our son then he would ask to be changed to a different job so he would be able to care for him. I'm not sure if that's possible though.


What is marital debt and what is not? What assets exist? Was there a prenup? Hint: All debt accruing during marriage is marital debt. All assets acquired during marriage are most likely marital property

We both have credit cards that we pay separately on that are in our own names. Technically they are marital debt but when we actually do divorce I'm pretty sure we will just keep our finances the way they are. We have separate bank accounts and keep our own finances separate. He doesn't give me money and I don't give him any. I pay my own bills and he pays his own. He pays the rent and I pay utilities, food, etc. We do not have a prenup. The only assets we have are household items such as furniture and appliances which he purchased. I do not want any of those items. We do not own a home.

Yes, it's possible for Dad to have primary custody at this point even without changing his job.

What about your lease? Have you determined how to legally get out of it? Moving away from a place that is basically only occupied by you and your child does NOT legally sever any lease agreement.