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housing issues

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pdxtazman

Junior Member
Oregon,
If I am the primary signer on the mortgage, but she is awarded the house in the divorce, do I have any say in what happens in the house hold until my name comes off the Mortgage?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
Oregon,
If I am the primary signer on the mortgage, but she is awarded the house in the divorce, do I have any say in what happens in the house hold until my name comes off the Mortgage?
Absolutely none whatsoever.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Absolutely none whatsoever.
Not entirely true. If OP is still on the mortgage, then he probably has the right to ensure that the value of the home is not destroyed. That is, he could go to court to prevent her from trashing the house - or at the very least to make sure she is responsible for making sure that the mortgage doesn't go underwater due to her behavior.

However, it might be a challenge to enforce that. Better to go back to court to get an order for the house to be refinanced without his name or, if that is not possible, have it sold (although he would not get any of the proceeds).
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Not entirely true. If OP is still on the mortgage, then he probably has the right to ensure that the value of the home is not destroyed. That is, he could go to court to prevent her from trashing the house - or at the very least to make sure she is responsible for making sure that the mortgage doesn't go underwater due to her behavior.

However, it might be a challenge to enforce that. Better to go back to court to get an order for the house to be refinanced without his name or, if that is not possible, have it sold (although he would not get any of the proceeds).
The ability to go back to court to prevent damage to the home or his credit is not what he asked.

He asked if he had any say over what happens in the household. He has absolutely none.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
He asked if he had any say over what happens in the household. He has absolutely none.
If OP's ex is having wild parties in the house that are destroying the house, he most certainly can object. While he can't simply tell her to stop, he can go to court and explain that he has a financial interest in the condition of the house and ask for an order.

You may consider that as having no say in what happens, but I don't.

Other than that, of course, you're right, but I never implied that he had any right to simply object to the people who where there or what they did (as long as they weren't destroying the house).
 

pdxtazman

Junior Member
Thank you for your replies. Here is a bit more info on the subject. I also involves changing of clothes in front of 7 yr old daughter, with a man the daughter has met only twice in the same room. Do I still have no control over situations like this in the house hold?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thank you for your replies. Here is a bit more info on the subject. I also involves changing of clothes in front of 7 yr old daughter, with a man the daughter has met only twice in the same room. Do I still have no control over situations like this in the house hold?
So, you are upset because mom changed her clothing in front of the child and mom's boyfriend?

No, you have absolutely no control over anything like that. Having your name on the mortgage gives you absolutely no control over mom's personal life.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Thank you for your replies. Here is a bit more info on the subject. I also involves changing of clothes in front of 7 yr old daughter, with a man the daughter has met only twice in the same room. Do I still have no control over situations like this in the house hold?
If you feel that something is inappropriate, contact Child Protective Services in your area. It is not a household issue since it doesn't matter if that occurs in the home with your name on the mortgage, on the other person's home, in a hotel, or out on the street. The location is (generally) not important. The activity is.

I'm not sure that the court or CPS is going to see what you've described as a serious issue, though (the way I'm reading your post, the man has not changed clothes in front of the daughter). If you think behavior is inappropriate but CPS does not see it as an issue causing harm to the child, you always have the option of asking for a change in custody, but that's a huge uphill battle, particularly since the court will be using community standards, not yours.
 

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