Post Divorce Options

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca.

Hello, I'm looking for some general info on where I may go, from here.

Here's my general profile:

* Divorced for over 4 years
* Filed for bankruptcy, recently (Ex did as well)
* Recently laid off (some severance coverage)
* My income for the last 4 years is slightly less than than the two years of W2's used for setting support ( I had a couple really good years w/ overtime - then got divorced)
* Ex has 75% custody
* Ex is set to remarry in a few months (new spouse, I believe, makes over $120k/yr)
* Ex currently works part time (I think Ex makes 30-35k/yr)
* Ex is going to school
* Ex does not pay for childcare


What is the likelihood that I can get my kids 50% instead of the current 25%?

Alimony drops once she's married, but how much may I remove from the child support?

I would like to take care of filing the paperwork myself, I don't find attorney's as helpful as their price.

TIA for your comments.

Jeb

Jebidiah said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca.

Hello, I'm looking for some general info on where I may go, from here.

Here's my general profile:

* Divorced for over 4 years
* Filed for bankruptcy, recently (Ex did as well)
* Recently laid off (some severance coverage)
* My income for the last 4 years is slightly less than than the two years of W2's used for setting support ( I had a couple really good years w/ overtime - then got divorced)
* Ex has 75% custody
* Ex is set to remarry in a few months (new spouse, I believe, makes over $120k/yr)
* Ex currently works part time (I think Ex makes 30-35k/yr)
* Ex is going to school
* Ex does not pay for childcare


What is the likelihood that I can get my kids 50% instead of the current 25%?

Alimony drops once she's married, but how much may I remove from the child support?

I would like to take care of filing the paperwork myself, I don't find attorney's as helpful as their price.

TIA for your comments.

Jeb

Click to expand...

Jeb...it comes across here as you wanting more time with your children in order to reduce child support. Judge's pick up on the slightest hint of that and it would not bode well for you in court.

So, practice on us. Give us your argument as to why it would be in your children's best interest to spend more time with you, vs less disruption to their current schedule of 4 years, to stay with the current schedule.

Include information as to how you will manage getting the children back and forth to school during your time...etc.

Jebidiah said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca.

Hello, I'm looking for some general info on where I may go, from here.

Here's my general profile:

* Divorced for over 4 years
* Filed for bankruptcy, recently (Ex did as well)
* Recently laid off (some severance coverage)
* My income for the last 4 years is slightly less than than the two years of W2's used for setting support ( I had a couple really good years w/ overtime - then got divorced)
* Ex has 75% custody
* Ex is set to remarry in a few months (new spouse, I believe, makes over $120k/yr)
* Ex currently works part time (I think Ex makes 30-35k/yr)
* Ex is going to school
* Ex does not pay for childcare


What is the likelihood that I can get my kids 50% instead of the current 25%?

Alimony drops once she's married, but how much may I remove from the child support?

I would like to take care of filing the paperwork myself, I don't find attorney's as helpful as their price.

TIA for your comments.

Jeb

Click to expand...

Uh..you may want to rethink last line about attorneys...considering you're on a legal site asking for FREE legal help.

You can file to have your child support reviewed since it's been a few years...but I have to warn you, her new husband's income is NOT going to be a factor in reducing how much you pay. HER income certainly will be a factor, but not his.

To change custody, you generally need to show a significant change in the children's circumstances. Are you thinking that Mom remarrying is going to be justification? Is there anything else?

None of the things you've listed have any bearing on custody. The main question is whether you can demonstrate that the children are better in your custody than in hers. You also need to demonstrate a significant enough change in circumstance to get the court to even address the issue.

Given what you've posted, it just doesn't appear likely. Status quo has been in place for 4 years. You are working full time while your ex is not. If she marries someone making 4 times as much as her, it may not be worth her working at all, so you might be talking about one parent who is home full time vs another parent who works. In an initial custody determination, that might not be fatal, but when you're asking for a change, it's just not likely.

You may not remove anything from child support for any reason. Only the court can do that. If you can demonstrate good reason why your support should be reduced (such as your being laid off), you may be able to get it reduced by the court, but until then, pay the full amount. You can easily look up an online calculator for your state that will give you an idea of how much it would be reduced based on your new salary (if it is reduced at all).

LdiJ said:

Jeb...it comes across here as you wanting more time with your children in order to reduce child support. Judge's pick up on the slightest hint of that and it would not bode well for you in court.

So, practice on us. Give us your argument as to why it would be in your children's best interest to spend more time with you, vs less disruption to their current schedule of 4 years, to stay with the current schedule.

Include information as to how you will manage getting the children back and forth to school during your time...etc.

Click to expand...

Hi LdiJ,

At this time I'm not prepared to give you "practice" at a level required by the system to be successful, that will require significant research on my part.

I'm not trying to reduce child support by requesting more time w/ my children. I simply want more time and believe it's in my children's best interest to have equal time w/ their father, additionally I'm asking for an equal distribution (50/50) not an unequal distribution.

I don't believe disruption in their schedule is a valid reason to deny equal custody, as that reason would be a fallacy based on the original 75/25 (default) custody standard originally given.

With regards to lifestyle, there are a number of options to obtain assistance with day care; ranging from family, live-in support, and professional support (businesses who cater to working families). The issues would be identical for the Ex, as I see it there's no reason for a disparity.

Thank you for your comments, please follow up if you will.

OP, you need to have valid reasons to change both custody and child support.

If you can't list those reasons, I'm not sure how we're meant to try to help you?

Proserpina said:

Jebidiah said:

I would like to take care of filing the paperwork myself, I don't find attorney's as helpful as their price.

Click to expand...

Uh..you may want to rethink last line about attorneys...considering you're on a legal site asking for FREE legal help.

Click to expand...

It's anecdotal truth based on my experience. I provided that line so that responders may understand why I seek a DIY case.

Finally, I'm not here to bash attorneys. Like anything else there is good and bad.

Proserpina said:

You can file to have your child support reviewed since it's been a few years...but I have to warn you, her new husband's income is NOT going to be a factor in reducing how much you pay. HER income certainly will be a factor, but not his.

Click to expand...

This is unfortunately my understanding, from cursory research I've done.

Proserpina said:

To change custody, you generally need to show a significant change in the children's circumstances. Are you thinking that Mom remarrying is going to be justification? Is there anything else?

Click to expand...

Yes, I know the Ex's condition will change significantly upon remarrying. However there is nothing else significant as it pertains to the Law's view of the world.

If you have possibilities in mind which may help me in my endeavor I'd like to hear them as well.

Thanks.

Proserpina said:

OP, you need to have valid reasons to change both custody and child support.

If you can't list those reasons, I'm not sure how we're meant to try to help you?

Click to expand...

Equality is not a valid reason?

mistoffolees said:

None of the things you've listed have any bearing on custody. The main question is whether you can demonstrate that the children are better in your custody than in hers. You also need to demonstrate a significant enough change in circumstance to get the court to even address the issue.

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I'm gathering, based on the responses thus far.

mistoffolees said:

Given what you've posted, it just doesn't appear likely. Status quo has been in place for 4 years. You are working full time while your ex is not. If she marries someone making 4 times as much as her, it may not be worth her working at all, so you might be talking about one parent who is home full time vs another parent who works. In an initial custody determination, that might not be fatal, but when you're asking for a change, it's just not likely.

Click to expand...

I see, this is a significant distinction.

mistoffolees said:

You may not remove anything from child support for any reason. Only the court can do that. If you can demonstrate good reason why your support should be reduced (such as your being laid off), you may be able to get it reduced by the court, but until then, pay the full amount. You can easily look up an online calculator for your state that will give you an idea of how much it would be reduced based on your new salary (if it is reduced at all).

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If the Ex agrees to a reduction will the court intervene?

To change custody, there must be a change in circumstances in the CHILD'S life not the other parent's or yours. Ex's marriage probably isn't going to significantly change anything for the child.

How close do you live together? Close enough for child to still be able to get to school from your house? If you don't live in the same town, then in most cases 50-50 just isn't logistically practical anyway.

"Kiddo and I miss each other and want to spend more time together" is a sympathetic argument, but you'd need to be able to show, at a MINIMUM, that changing the schedule now after 4 years won't be disruptive to him, that you'll be able to maintain his routines and sense of stability even if a change is made.

ecmst12 said:

How close do you live together? Close enough for child to still be able to get to school from your house? If you don't live in the same town, then in most cases 50-50 just isn't logistically practical anyway.

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We live within miles of one another. And it's spelled out in the judgment that neither party may move out of town w/o written permission from the other.

ecmst12 said:

"Kiddo and I miss each other and want to spend more time together" is a sympathetic argument, but you'd need to be able to show, at a MINIMUM, that changing the schedule now after 4 years won't be disruptive to him, that you'll be able to maintain his routines and sense of stability even if a change is made.

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I understand what you're saying, and wow is that fvcked up. I couldn't get 50/50 the first time around. I asked the Ex, who said no. And my attorney basically said that it wasn't likely to happen.

If you asked for 50-50 before and it was denied, then it seems even less likely that you'll get it the 2nd time around.

Jebidiah said:

Equality is not a valid reason?

Click to expand...

No.

It might have been one of the many items to be considered back when the initial determination was made, but it's no longer relevant.

There is a status quo. In order to change the custody situation, you need to prove two things:
1. That there has been a significant change in circumstances
2. That changing custody would be better for the child

You haven't given anything that is a significant change in circumstances. Even if your ex remarries, that, by itself, isn't a significant change in circumstances. An example might be if you lived far apart after the divorce so one parent had to have primary physical, but then your ex moved back to your town, making 50:50 a reasonable possibility. If something like that happened, you MIGHT be able to reopen custody, but there's nothing in your story that suggests it. So, SPECIFICALLY, what is the change in circumstances that would justify reopening the custody decision.

Then, you have to prove that a change is better for the children. Once again, in the INITIAL custody determination, you could argue that it's better for the children to spend as much time with both parents as possible (although this might be difficult to prove if the other parent challenged it). But now, you have to prove that a CHANGE is better. With young children, stability counts for a great deal. These children have a life that they've grown accustomed to. Maintaining the status quo is always the preferred decision unless there is a significant amount of evidence proving that a change is in the children's best interests. Your saying that it's better won't cut it. I can give a few examples of things that MIGHT be sufficient, but there's no sign in your post that they occurred:
- the other parent was OK at the time of the initial custody decision, but became unfit over time. Your word won't cut it - you'd need extensive PROOF.
- in this case, the other parent is remarrying. If the new spouse were a convicted child abuser, that would probably be sufficient to reopen the custody.
In your case, it looks like the other spouse would have MORE time to spend with the kids - if anything.

So, please tell us SPECIFICALLY what grounds you think you have to reopen the case and also what grounds you intend to provide for why it is better for the kids to change custody. No one is asking for a detailed legal brief on this. If you think that you can prove those things, you must have some ideas on how you would do it. What are they?