Please Help Me...

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have only been married for 20 months. I have 2 young children ages 7 and 2 (my husband is the father of my 2 year old son and my 7 year old daughter is from a previous relationship but I have sole custody). My husband and I bought our house 3 yrs ago however our mortgage is only under his name. My husband made me quit my job when our son was born so that I could take care of the kids. He also made me sell my car so that we could get a "family vehicle" (which is only under his name also). We also have 2 bank accounts that he refused to add my name to after our marriage. Now he has recently become both physically and verbally abusive to me and after alot of prayer I realize that my only option is divorce for the sake of my children. However I have no place to go, no job, no money and no childcare! I had, unknowingly at the time, given up everything for him and now I am left with nothing. So could you please tell me what my options are? Will I have any chance of getting the house in the divorce, and possibly spousal support in order to get back on my feet even though we have not been married very long? What is the Texas law in my case? What would be the first step I should take since I do not have access to any money to even hire legal advice? Please help me to get my life back for the sake of my children. Thank You.

When was the house purchased? Before or after the marriage? Are you on the DEED to the home?

If your home is abusive you need to place your older son in his fathers care for HIS safety.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have only been married for 20 months. I have 2 young children ages 7 and 2 (my husband is the father of my 2 year old son and my 7 year old daughter is from a previous relationship but I have sole custody). My husband and I bought our house 3 yrs ago however our mortgage is only under his name.

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Whose name is on the deed?

My husband made me quit my job when our son was born so that I could take care of the kids.

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And apparently you AGREED with quitting so you could take care of the children so you made a choice. Choose to get a job now.

He also made me sell my car so that we could get a "family vehicle" (which is only under his name also).

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You CHOSE to sell your car so you could get a family vehicle. Whose name is on the title to the vehicle? Do you have more than one vehicle?

We also have 2 bank accounts that he refused to add my name to after our marriage.

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HE has two bank accounts then that contain marital funds. Why didn't you keep your own account?

Now he has recently become both physically and verbally abusive to me and after alot of prayer I realize that my only option is divorce for the sake of my children.

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Have you called a battered women's shelter? Have YOU ever called the police and pursued charges? Have you filed for a restraining order?

However I have no place to go, no job, no money and no childcare! I had, unknowingly at the time, given up everything for him and now I am left with nothing. So could you please tell me what my options are?

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When is the lats time he was physically abusive to you? Has he ever been physically abusive to the children? Do you get child support for your oldest child? If so start banking the child support for your oldest child into your own account. That is NOT marital income. keep it in your own separate account.

Will I have any chance of getting the house in the divorce,

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Not unless you are on the deed AND can afford to refinance the house into your own name.

and possibly spousal support in order to get back on my feet even though we have not been married very long?

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Any spousal support would be extremely short term. YOU NEED to get a job.

What is the Texas law in my case? What would be the first step I should take since I do not have access to any money to even hire legal advice? Please help me to get my life back for the sake of my children. Thank You.

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Contact legal aid in your area. Contact the police the next time he is physically violent AND follow through. Get a restraining order against him.

Blue Meanie said:

When was the house purchased? Before or after the marriage? Are you on the DEED to the home?

If your home is abusive you need to place your older son in his fathers care for HIS safety.

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Psst.. the older child is a daughter.

Ohiogal said:

Psst.. the older child is a daughter.

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The deed was purchased in dec 2006 and we were married June 2008. Our realtor advised us that it didn't matter that I was not on the deed because after living in the home for 6 months I would become part owner of the property anyways... is this incorrect? And he has never been violent or abusive to the children. He has only hit me once (when the kids were not around) about a month ago and he had been out drinking and I woke up in the middle of the night to my alarm clock being smashed aggainst my face. In the morning he claims he didn't remember doing it so I chose not to call the police or a woman's shelter at the time. I did take pictures just in case. But I feel like ever since, I have anxiety about what he is capable of and it has made my marriage very unpleasant. And if I did get a restraining order, how would I pay for the house? Because in order to get another job, in my situation, I would have to find someone to care for my children while I go to an interview, I would also need to get transportation to get to work, and where would I get money to start a job because my 2 year old would need to go to a full time daycare and my 7 year old would need after school care and I would have to pay them in advance to getting them enrolled. And the decision to stay home with the kids was not my choice. When I sold my vehicle (while I was out on maternity leave) I assumed the new family vehicle would be for me and the kids however he traded in his car without my knowledge and so our new family vehicle ended up being our ONLY vehicle... and in only his name...once again. Which made me feel like the decision had already been made for me at the time. So I am just wondering what the law in Texas might do to help me in my particular situation... ???

The deed was purchased in dec 2006 and we were married June 2008.

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So it was purchased PRE MARRIAGE and hence the house itself is not marital property.

Our realtor advised us that it didn't matter that I was not on the deed because after living in the home for 6 months I would become part owner of the property anyways... is this incorrect?

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Yep. You have no claims on the house EXCEPT the equity that has accrued since June 2008 which in this economy is probably slim or none.

And he has never been violent or abusive to the children. He has only hit me once (when the kids were not around) about a month ago and he had been out drinking and I woke up in the middle of the night to my alarm clock being smashed aggainst my face. In the morning he claims he didn't remember doing it so I chose not to call the police or a woman's shelter at the time.

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Bad decision.

I did take pictures just in case.

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What proof do you have of what is in the pictures? If the pictures are of bruises, what proof do you have of how you got the bruises? Who caused the bruises? Most likely you have no proof unless HE admits it.

But I feel like ever since, I have anxiety about what he is capable of and it has made my marriage very unpleasant. And if I did get a restraining order, how would I pay for the house?

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Okay here is the simple facts -- you need to choose your safety -- if you feel that he will harm you -- or your house. It is easier to replace a residence than a life.

Because in order to get another job, in my situation, I would have to find someone to care for my children while I go to an interview, I would also need to get transportation to get to work, and where would I get money to start a job because my 2 year old would need to go to a full time daycare and my 7 year old would need after school care and I would have to pay them in advance to getting them enrolled.

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Check into Title XX. Do you have family or friends?

And the decision to stay home with the kids was not my choice.

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But it was a choice. You may have felt pushed into it, but you went along with it.

When I sold my vehicle (while I was out on maternity leave) I assumed the new family vehicle would be for me and the kids however he traded in his car without my knowledge and so our new family vehicle ended up being our ONLY vehicle... and in only his name...once again.

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Then you have issues.

Which made me feel like the decision had already been made for me at the time. So I am just wondering what the law in Texas might do to help me in my particular situation... ???

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You went along with the decision which means you actually agreed with the decision to stay home. You need to open your own bank account. You need to start depositing the child support you receive for your daughter into that bank account. You need to get a job. Look into Title XX daycare assistance. Maybe look into actually working at a daycare. You need to become financially independent. Any spousal support you would get would be VERY short term if you received ANY at all.

You have been complacent in this situation and should have stood up for your independence long ago.

I hope you will teach your son and daughter that all women need to retain accounts, transportation and credit in THEIR OWN NAMES, regardless of marital status. Choosing to marry should not mean delegating all control and finances to someone else.