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Wife and Divorce

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Grex

Junior Member
I currently reside in the state of Mississippi and have been in the Coast Guard for 16 years. In Oct I had to have back surgery due to damage sustained in the line of duty. Prior to the surgery the wife and I had a fight (non violent) and I left my home and moved to my parents knowing that she would not be able to take care of me in the debilitated state I would be in for a few months following the surgery. Comments were being made that she did not want me to have the surgery and that what would she do while I was laid up for months which also led me to believe her inability or desire to care for me.

On Oct 12 I had the surgery and over the course of nine weeks she came to see me a total of three times. She maintained control of the finances and I eventually hinted at Divorce. She still has control of the money and last week I uncovered the fact that she is having an affair. I have proof of the affair but I have also learned that she is taking my kids around her new boyfriend and I have a strong suspicion he has even spent nights in my home. I am currently in cousel with a very good lawyer on the Coast but this woman who I have been married to for 8 years is really hurtful and I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do. This cant be fair to me and she gets pissed at me whenever I take money to pay my lawyer. She is living the good life while I am still at my parents this hardly seems fair as I have not cheated and she is now in a full on relationship with a man and I am supporting it financially. I will speak to my lawyer on Monday but any insight would be much appreciated.

This is a very abbreviated version but I have not cheated, I have kept her financially in the good out of 6400 dollars a month I am only taking about 500dollars. Any insight would be much appreciated. Is she still entitled to Alimony given the infidelity?

Thanks,
St
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
Work with your attorney. If it were me, I'd be asking for custody on the basis of her inability to provide proper moral guidance for the children. You might not get it, but I would start out asking for it.

You are entitled to your share of your income. Legal expenses are certainly legitimate and you are entitled to support yourself as well. There's no need to feel guilty about it. If she complains, file for divorce - the amount you would pay her in temporary support would be far less than she's getting now. In fact, you really need to open your own account and start having your paycheck deposited there anyway. You still have an obligation to support your family, but YOU should be controlling the money, not her.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Work with your attorney. If it were me, I'd be asking for custody on the basis of her inability to provide proper moral guidance for the children. You might not get it, but I would start out asking for it.

You are entitled to your share of your income. Legal expenses are certainly legitimate and you are entitled to support yourself as well. There's no need to feel guilty about it. If she complains, file for divorce - the amount you would pay her in temporary support would be far less than she's getting now. In fact, you really need to open your own account and start having your paycheck deposited there anyway. You still have an obligation to support your family, but YOU should be controlling the money, not her.
I agree...however its important to remember that any bills/debts that carry his name need to be paid or he will tank his credit. Depending on how tight they were living in relationship to his income, that means that he might have to spend more to protect his credit than just what would be ordered in spousal/child support, on at least a temporary basis.
 

Grex

Junior Member
Is she still entitled to Spousal support when she has been committing adultery?
Doesn't the fact she has been cheating hold any weight in what she should get? I fully intend to take care of my children but she should not get to have a free ride when she has been running around for years.
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
Is she still entitled to Spousal support when she has been committing adultery?
Doesn't the fact she has been cheating hold any weight in what she should get? I fully intend to take care of my children but she should not get to have a free ride when she has been running around for years.
Adultery is not illegal and, therefore, does not have a penalty attached.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member

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