Please Help! "wife" is a monster!

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

My dad was dating a woman who moved to Ohio during their relationship. he Purchased a home to be built in PA in 2006. In 2007 his home sold and he moved in with his girlfriend until his home build was complete. He moved in May of 2006 and his home was to be finished in January 2007. In October 2006, he suffered a major heart attack in OH. He was in a local hospital where they decided he was to be airlifted to Cleveland Clinic. While the helicopter was running outside, she had her minister friend come in and marry them. He was on morphine - the minister drove 2 hours to do this - we (Dad's 3 children) were driving from NY to OH, all the way speaking to the girlfriend - who coincidentally did not mention the intention of marriage to us in not one of the 20 or so phone calls that morning. When questioned about the marriage later on my dad's reply was "at my age (70) am I supposed to get a divorce?? My mom passed in 1998.
He finally was well enough to visit his PA home in February of 2007. His belongings from his original home with my mother were moved in to the PA home. There were very few items that needed to be purchased to complete the house. Since my dad was such a complicated case, he needed to follow up monthly with doctors in OH, so he made his way back and forth every month. He passed in 2009, 2 years and 11 months after the forced marriage took place.
In 2006 he made his will. It read that the girlfriend was to receive $15K and the remainder of his estate was to be divided between the children equally. The PA house was immediately deeded to us children upon completion.
After his death, his wife went to the PA home to get her clothing. Problem is she took her clothing and some other things from the residence including dad's guns, jewelry, appliances and money. She also removed dad's file box from the house which included his will - she thought was the only copy. Believing this, she filed to become Executrix of his will in OH, only to find that my sister was appointed Executrix in PA - according to his will.
She is now contesting the will, which we all knew was coming. She is also staking claim to the items in Dad's PA home - things he made for my mother, items bought by my mother, things we grew up with. I mean, even his shop smith which he purchased in the early 1970's she is claiming. His organ which was a present from my mom to my dad - my parent's bedroom set... A lamp he made for the dining room when we were growing up.... I mean come on... Sidenote: we do not want anything they purchased together...
She also tried to fight his residency. She claims he lived in OH and has voter registration card for him... my dad never voted EVER. His income taxes state his residency as PA and hers as OH. Her and her lawyers got us a court date in OH to fight where the will should be probated. How is THAT possible? She is offering to cut us a "deal" in which she would get 1/3 of the remainder of the estate (I say that because money is still unaccounted for) and $20K and she will "go away" as she put it.
There is still the question in our minds as to what actually happened to dad. She took over his medication dosing, gave him cakes and sweets (as a diabetic) stating she makes up for it by giving him more insulin at night, took his blood pressure readings, did all his dialysis... nowhere int eh hospital records did it indicate his "condition" demised or that he was in danger of dying. He was at the doctor on Tuesday and passed on Thursday. Do we need to exhume the body? We are sickened over this.
In the meantime, account balances of CDs and other accounts do not match the paperwork that my father handed to my sister just 3 months before he passed. She stated herself to my Dad's brother and niece that there was over 100K in an account that has now "disappeared". She got the new car, claims the jewelry he wore everyday of his life since I can remember does not exist... She is asking that the funeral expenses be omitted from the estate - and herself not liable for any of the cost as well. Nice... huh?
Can she go after the things that were Dad's before the marriage? As far as contents of the house? How come she does not have to answer where the missing money is? How come she gets to have court in her state and we had to hire a lawyer in 2 different states???? 3 different states if it goes to her state!!!
As his children, do we not have any rights at all?

...only to find that my sister was appointed Executrix in PA - according to his will.

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Was probate opened and sister actually appointed in PA?

Her and her lawyers got us a court date in OH to fight where the will should be probated. How is THAT possible?

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Because disputing his domicile at death is her right.

Can she go after the things that were Dad's before the marriage? As far as contents of the house?

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Yes, those "things" are part of his estate.

How come she does not have to answer where the missing money is?

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Apparently, right now, nobody has the legal authority to make her answer.

She is offering to cut us a "deal" in which she would get 1/3 of the remainder of the estate...

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Under the laws of both OH and PA, a surviving spouse is entitled to an elective share of the deceased spouse's estate, no matter what the will says. If I remember correctly, in both OH and PA, the elective share is 1/3 of the estate. But, there may be subtle differences on what is included in the base upon which that 1/3 is calculated. In order to evaluate that offer, you really need to be discussing what that means in concrete terms with the attorneys you have retained.

(Why attorneys in 3 states? Seems to me that only 2 states are involved PA and OH.)

Thank you for your response. Although, I am saddened by the answers

Yes, my sister was appointed Executrix in PA. "The wife" had acted as if there was no will and did the same in OH a week later. My question is if my sister was appointed in PA Probate Court a week prior to the wife's actions, how come we have to go to OH to answer her and not PA?

Since all the legal fees are coming out of our pocket, we did not have the money to seek a second opinion, which is why I am here. I feel as if we were told one thing at our first meeting with the lawyer and then things are not happening that way.

Question: Are us children permitted to remove anything from the home that was deeded to us? The home was deeded to us months prior to his "marriage".

We had to retain 3 different lawyers because Dad's will was in NY, so the first lawyer was retained. Then we hired the PA lawyer, now we are forced to hire an OH lawyer. I am puzzled as to why, if my sister was already appointed Executrix in PA by probate court, would we have to go to OH to answer her claims. Shouldn't she have to come here?

What I am hearing is that no matter what the will says, the wife has all the rights in the world to hurt us and steal from us and go against my father's wishes all for a buck. We have no course for action here at all?

It really sounds as if we have no rights here at all. Even though my sister was appointed executrix. It almost seems pointless to even prepare a will because the person's intentions are not what is followed anyway.

Perhaps your dad's intent changed.

He married her.

Xylene:

He was in a local hospital where they decided he was to be airlifted to Cleveland Clinic. While the helicopter was running outside, she had her minister friend come in and marry them. He was on morphine - the minister drove 2 hours to do this - we (Dad's 3 children) were driving from NY to OH, all the way speaking to the girlfriend - who coincidentally did not mention the intention of marriage to us in not one of the 20 or so phone calls that morning. When questioned about the marriage later on my dad's reply was "at my age (70) am I supposed to get a divorce??

Also note that the will and decisions made to my dad were made months before this "marriage" took place. Does it sound like a man who is preparing for marriage? Or does it sound like an opportunist taking advantage of a sick man?


He thought his will would be enough. Apparently everyone should save their money and not do a will since it isn't worth the paper it was written on.

What I am saying is that your father left you a bad hand to play by not having the marriage annulled. Although he may have had some moral qualms about it, he did have 2+ years in which to do so. I just don't think that you will find a court that would rule that the marriage was not valid at this point.

What I am hearing is that no matter what the will says, the wife has all the rights in the world to hurt us and steal from us and go against my father's wishes all for a buck. We have no course for action here at all?

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State legislatures have decided that it is not good public policy to leave a surviving spouse high and dry. Therefore, to varying extents, every state I know of allows a surviving spouse to elect to take a certain percentage of the deceased spouse's estate.

Yes, my sister was appointed Executrix in PA. "The wife" had acted as if there was no will and did the same in OH a week later. My question is if my sister was appointed in PA a week prior to the wife's actions, how come we have to go to OH and not PA?

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It is her right, although I am uncertain as to what advantage she thinks there is to having OH declared as his domicile. If the will was valid in the state where your father was a resident when the will was made, then it is valid in OH and PA.

And, if it nominated your sister as executrix, then courts in either state would likely appoint her. However, being appointed as executrix does not mean much since she would have to follow the law in either state.

You really need to sit down with the attorneys you have retained and have a frank discussion about possible outcomes and which course of action would be most advantageous to you.

So, even though the home was deeded to us before the marriage took place, the contents are up for grabs by her?
Can she physically take items from us? Or is it a monetary value placed on them?
Are we, the children, allowed to remove any contents from the house? I am asking because we removed some sentimental items prior to this letter received from her lawyer and I do not want to get into trouble or hurt our case in any way. Although we don't have much of a case here...

Unless the contents of the home were conveyed to you, which is unlikely, they would be part of your father's estate.

Even though there is litigation, if your sister was appointed as executrix by a PA court, I would say that it is her duty to make certain that the contents that belonged to your father are secured and do not leave the house.

Trying to divvy up personal tangible property equitably is always a thankless task. If your attorneys concur that you have as weak a hand as I think you do and recommend negotiation, then make who gets what and what the value is part of the negotiation.

Can I file a complaint of harassment against her and the neighbor? I can't even to to a house I OWN in PA without someone watching my every move and reporting it back to the wife in OH....

what was your fathers state of residence when he died?

justalayman said:

what was your fathers state of residence when he died?

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Probably PA. But the surviving spouse, for whatever reason, apparently is disputing that.

His state of residence at time of passing was PA.

then PA has jurisdiction. If the wife filed for probate in Ohio, then of course you would have to go to Ohio. How else do you contest the opening of probate in Ohio when it appears it should be in PA?

while you take issue with anteaters answers, I do not see anything wrong with them. You might want to check your attitude. After all, the info you get here is is free.

Your dad got married and was married for almost 3 years. If he had a problem with how the marriage took place, he had ample opportunity to do something about it. He didn't do anything so the courts will presume his intent was to be married whether you like it, agree with it, or believe it was entered into under suspicious acts.

Since the woman was married to your father, the law gives the widow a right of an elective share regardless what the will states. In other words, he cannot leave her with nothing. After that, the will directs. I do not see why you have such a problem with that.

So, even though the home was deeded to us before the marriage took place, the contents are up for grabs by her?
Can she physically take items from us? Or is it a monetary value placed on them?

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no. anything that was your fathers is part of the estate, PERIOD. There is no community property in PA. There is marital property though. The executor is in charge of distributing property and nothing is supposed to move until the executrix says so.

Question for you: did the wife live in the home in PA? Where did she claim residence?


and just to be sure;

your fathers drivers license, car registration, income taxation and anything else that would establish residency was all in PA, correct?

I appreciate his answers - I really do. I can do without the accusations and rude comments. I am not looking to cheat anyone out of anything. I only was looking for a few answers to questions I don't really know the answer to.

Anyone in their right mind would want to secure heirlooms and items belonging to their parents and things we had growing up. No one knows the whole story here and I don't care if I have to buy her out of these items. I am not looking to "wipe her out" or exclude her from anything. My father wasn't able to follow through on his Post Nup due to his illness and that is what happens when you do not follow through. We really just want to be able to retain these items so we can pass them down to our kids and so on. There are many stories behind a lot of these things that would be nice to share and show to our kids who will never have the chance to know their grandparents. I am just merely seeking information to help me proceed with everything and move forward acting within the law. She has stated that she has no interest in any of the items and just wants the money they are worth. I really don't need anyone hoping that I get my clock cleaned as it was stated by anteater. I don't need to be scolded if I restate something I previously asked. I just want some insight here and a fresh approach and look into the situation we are in. No matter who is appointed executrix, the three children left behind by both my parents unfortunate passing, will act as one unit. We are a close family and that is all there is to that. Knowing what my father's intentions really were makes us angry. Sorry about that - it is natural when you care about someone who by fault of their own was bamboozled themselves. He is my Dad after all.

I appreciate the fact that anyone comes on here and supplies answers and direction to people for free. I was just reaching out to see if I could get some direction from you guys.

justalayman said:

If the wife filed for probate in Ohio, then of course you would have to go to Ohio. How else do you contest the opening of probate in Ohio when it appears it should be in PA?

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I was asking because I still do not understand it. If my sister was appointed executrix in PA, and weeks later the spouse chooses to challenge that decision, why do we have to go to OH and not PA?

justalayman said:

Your dad got married and was married for almost 3 years. If he had a problem with how the marriage took place, he had ample opportunity to do something about it. He didn't do anything so the courts will presume his intent was to be married whether you like it, agree with it, or believe it was entered into under suspicious acts.

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It was just under two years they were married. If I mistakenly put the wrong year, I apologize. They met the year before they married. He was a very sick man and didn't proceed to try to annul the marriage.

justalayman said:

Since the woman was married to your father, the law gives the widow a right of an elective share regardless what the will states. In other words, he cannot leave her with nothing. After that, the will directs. I do not see why you have such a problem with that.

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I do not have "such a problem" with the law and how it works at all. I DO however, want to keep these heirlooms and things in the family, even if it means buying her out of them. I DO have a problem with her getting away with removing items from the house and not itemizing them on her list. They are very valuable sentimentally let alone just plain valuable. Why does everyone here have a problem with these things I say? What is so wrong with what I am saying??

justalayman said:

no. anything that was your fathers is part of the estate, PERIOD. There is no community property in PA. There is marital property though. The executor is in charge of distributing property and nothing is supposed to move until the executrix says so.

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So how come she has removed the items that belonged to my father? How can I combat this?

justalayman said:

Question for you: did the wife live in the home in PA? Where did she claim residence?

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She claimed residence in Ohio. She didn't live there. She only kept very few clothing items in the home.

justalayman said:

and just to be sure;

your fathers drivers license, car registration, income taxation and anything else that would establish residency was all in PA, correct?

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His car registration was OH because they owned a car jointly after my father got so ill. His income taxes were in PA. Besides the items you list, what else would show residency?

I was asking because I still do not understand it. If my sister was appointed executrix in PA, and weeks later the spouse chooses to challenge that decision, why do we have to go to OH and not PA?

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Because she has a right to argue that the proper venue for probate is Ohio. What that gains her, even if successful, I don't know. If the evidence that he was a PA resident is strong, it should be a quick dismissal.

I DO have a problem with her getting away with removing items from the house and not itemizing them on her list. They are very valuable sentimentally let alone just plain valuable. Why does everyone here have a problem with these things I say? What is so wrong with what I am saying??

So how come she has removed the items that belonged to my father? How can I combat this?

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I have seen nobody say that the surviving spouse had any right to remove your father's assets from the house.

As the personal representative of the estate, your sister has the legal standing to fight this. The normal first step would be for her or her attorney to write the surviving spouse a letter demanding the return of the items. If that does not work, then a petition to the probate court for an order that she return the items to your sister.