What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
My dad past away June 2, 2010. I could not get a doctor's release to be at his bedside during his last three weeks hospitalization and hospice. I pleaded with my older sister who had been estranged from my dad and whom I had to convince my dad to "allow" into his life, to step in on my behalf and be there for our dad. I live in VA. My sister complained of having to assume the responsibility for his care. She protested the hospital's request that she sign documents in his stead since she was in fact the eldest surviving child and he wasn't married. She wanted to know where the money was going to come from to pay for her expenses and for his care since the doctor said that he needed to be placed into a nursing home. So, in an attempt to minimize her fears, I carelessly told her that my dad had already made arrangements for his end and had stashed cash in a safe in his bedroom closet secured to the floor board. I also told her that my dad had sufficient funds coming in monthly to pay for his needs. Furthermore, our dad told me that his best friend (who in addition to myself, were the only other persons having the combination for the safe) would take care of everything until I was able to come down to finalize the estate.
During the course of my dad's final weeks, I spoke to him via phone and he sounded desperate, frustrated and expressed resentment for what he said was my sister going against his wishes. I didn't mention this to my sister since she told me that she was finally getting to know him and mentioned that she had videotaped some of her visits, journaled and taken his pictures to preserve the memories. She claimed that he requested her to bring an attorney with her when she came to visit with her in the hospital. She also claims that he asked her to take his ashes down to his homeland in South America for burial.
Thing is, my dad and I discussed me doing this and realized that when I finished my cancer treatments, I would honor his wishes. However, my sister seemingly convinced him that I couldn't do it at all whereby he called his sister who resides in his homeland and asked her to make arrangements to retrieve his ashes. This is the sister (also my godmother) who was to host my visit and take me to the site where my father's father and first son is buried. My sister managed to convince my dad's relative that I was dying of cancer (far from the truth) and that I wouldn't be able to fulfill my dad's wish. I have reason to believe (haven't gotten a clear answer from his best friend or my sister - who now refuses to take my calls and or respond to my emails) that he (the friend) gave her the cash my father intended me to use to bring his surviving children together and use for our trips to his homeland to together, fulfill his wishes. My dad told me several times that he kept $20,000 for this purpose (cremation, final bills and trip) so that I wouldn't have to worry about funds since the estate would have to go into probate before I could liquidate a house and car for cash. He trusted me. He didn't trust my sister or any of his other children (3 others surviving). He and my mom had been divorced since the early 80's so there was no dispute there.
I suspect taking of the cash because my sister is on disability and receives full government services and has been this way for years. She claimed that the hospital made her sign documents to take responsibility for my father's care and that his friend was on vacation and would help when he returned. I trusted her to do what was best for my dad.
After his cremation, she claimed she paid $1200 and took possession of the urn. I asked his best friend to please use the funds my dad left to repay my sister (even though I'd asked her to let me know the costs so that I could pay it myself from my savings). He did not retrieve the ashes from her. He spoke to me of her commitment and untiring service to my dad in the end and that since I got everything I should allow her to get the ashes and let her do what she wanted to do. He added that he didn't want to get in the middle of a family squabble.
He gave my sister a copy of the will which I had never seen. I asked her to read it to me. She did then accused me of neglecting my dad's care, lying about not being able to travel and not being responsible. It was then that I also found out that dad's friend was listed on the will as my second/alternate in the event I could not or refused to represent his estate and administer without bond his will. He named me as his PR and sole beneficiary on his will. It wasn't until I called him and left a message that I would be forced to file willful negligence that he stepped up and sent me the documents I'd been asking for and could not get my sister to send to me (death certificate and original will). When the package arrived it was then that I found out that I was in fact, the executrix (I'd thought he was).
I also found out that my dad had included in his will his living will statement.
I was told by my sister that hospice gave him a shot of morphine as he listened to me whisper my last words to him via telephone. I had pleaded with my sister to put her cell phone to his ears and to let me speak to him. I could hear his breathing then it stopped.
Seconds later she said he wasn't breathing anymore and the nurse declared that he was dead. My sister waived an autopsy on my dad.
When reciting the events leading to his death to mom, she was alarmed and told me that in his condition, morphine was the last thing that they should have given him. He had a heart condition, diabetes, HBP, some kidney issues, and some liver failure.
My mom who was a nurse assistant for years, felt that the morphine was used to end his life.
The same week I received the package, I received calls from two of my father's sisters in another state. They were upset that I refused to allow my sister to give our father's ashes to them. I explained my position - honoring my dads heart in spirit and principle. They protested bout him leaving everything to me and defended my sisters position that my dad's ashes were not part of his estate and therefore she could do what ever she wanted - take over my responsibility and take the ashes to the homeland by herself.
I called her and asked her to cease and desist all further actions concerning our dad's estate. She refused and told me that she had purchased her ticket and that it was non refundable. My sister's health condition is unpredictable and she could be hospitalized for a sickle crises unpredictably. She has never purchased a non-refundable ticket.
Furthermore, how could she afford to purchase the tickets?
Finally, I get to the questions:
What recourse do I have?
Is my sister liable, breaking any laws, etc.?
Can dad's friend be held liable for negligence since he chose to not honor my request to retrieve keys (car & house) and the urn from my sister and for bowing out when things got sticky?
Also, he claimed that my dad executed a POD for him to get the contents of a checking and savings account which he used to pay my father's bills when my father was hospitalized. At first he claimed that my dad left it to him in the will. But it says nothing of the kind. The will says that my dad left me all his "worldly goods". Also, when I "threatened" willful negligence, he removed himself from any further service on my behalf or on behalf of my dad's estate. He also defended my sister's position to take the ashes.
I have been referred to an attorney. But, to save time and costs, I'd like to know what if any rights I may have.
Thanks in advance for your help.
My dad past away June 2, 2010. I could not get a doctor's release to be at his bedside during his last three weeks hospitalization and hospice. I pleaded with my older sister who had been estranged from my dad and whom I had to convince my dad to "allow" into his life, to step in on my behalf and be there for our dad. I live in VA. My sister complained of having to assume the responsibility for his care. She protested the hospital's request that she sign documents in his stead since she was in fact the eldest surviving child and he wasn't married. She wanted to know where the money was going to come from to pay for her expenses and for his care since the doctor said that he needed to be placed into a nursing home. So, in an attempt to minimize her fears, I carelessly told her that my dad had already made arrangements for his end and had stashed cash in a safe in his bedroom closet secured to the floor board. I also told her that my dad had sufficient funds coming in monthly to pay for his needs. Furthermore, our dad told me that his best friend (who in addition to myself, were the only other persons having the combination for the safe) would take care of everything until I was able to come down to finalize the estate.
During the course of my dad's final weeks, I spoke to him via phone and he sounded desperate, frustrated and expressed resentment for what he said was my sister going against his wishes. I didn't mention this to my sister since she told me that she was finally getting to know him and mentioned that she had videotaped some of her visits, journaled and taken his pictures to preserve the memories. She claimed that he requested her to bring an attorney with her when she came to visit with her in the hospital. She also claims that he asked her to take his ashes down to his homeland in South America for burial.
Thing is, my dad and I discussed me doing this and realized that when I finished my cancer treatments, I would honor his wishes. However, my sister seemingly convinced him that I couldn't do it at all whereby he called his sister who resides in his homeland and asked her to make arrangements to retrieve his ashes. This is the sister (also my godmother) who was to host my visit and take me to the site where my father's father and first son is buried. My sister managed to convince my dad's relative that I was dying of cancer (far from the truth) and that I wouldn't be able to fulfill my dad's wish. I have reason to believe (haven't gotten a clear answer from his best friend or my sister - who now refuses to take my calls and or respond to my emails) that he (the friend) gave her the cash my father intended me to use to bring his surviving children together and use for our trips to his homeland to together, fulfill his wishes. My dad told me several times that he kept $20,000 for this purpose (cremation, final bills and trip) so that I wouldn't have to worry about funds since the estate would have to go into probate before I could liquidate a house and car for cash. He trusted me. He didn't trust my sister or any of his other children (3 others surviving). He and my mom had been divorced since the early 80's so there was no dispute there.
I suspect taking of the cash because my sister is on disability and receives full government services and has been this way for years. She claimed that the hospital made her sign documents to take responsibility for my father's care and that his friend was on vacation and would help when he returned. I trusted her to do what was best for my dad.
After his cremation, she claimed she paid $1200 and took possession of the urn. I asked his best friend to please use the funds my dad left to repay my sister (even though I'd asked her to let me know the costs so that I could pay it myself from my savings). He did not retrieve the ashes from her. He spoke to me of her commitment and untiring service to my dad in the end and that since I got everything I should allow her to get the ashes and let her do what she wanted to do. He added that he didn't want to get in the middle of a family squabble.
He gave my sister a copy of the will which I had never seen. I asked her to read it to me. She did then accused me of neglecting my dad's care, lying about not being able to travel and not being responsible. It was then that I also found out that dad's friend was listed on the will as my second/alternate in the event I could not or refused to represent his estate and administer without bond his will. He named me as his PR and sole beneficiary on his will. It wasn't until I called him and left a message that I would be forced to file willful negligence that he stepped up and sent me the documents I'd been asking for and could not get my sister to send to me (death certificate and original will). When the package arrived it was then that I found out that I was in fact, the executrix (I'd thought he was).
I also found out that my dad had included in his will his living will statement.
I was told by my sister that hospice gave him a shot of morphine as he listened to me whisper my last words to him via telephone. I had pleaded with my sister to put her cell phone to his ears and to let me speak to him. I could hear his breathing then it stopped.
Seconds later she said he wasn't breathing anymore and the nurse declared that he was dead. My sister waived an autopsy on my dad.
When reciting the events leading to his death to mom, she was alarmed and told me that in his condition, morphine was the last thing that they should have given him. He had a heart condition, diabetes, HBP, some kidney issues, and some liver failure.
My mom who was a nurse assistant for years, felt that the morphine was used to end his life.
The same week I received the package, I received calls from two of my father's sisters in another state. They were upset that I refused to allow my sister to give our father's ashes to them. I explained my position - honoring my dads heart in spirit and principle. They protested bout him leaving everything to me and defended my sisters position that my dad's ashes were not part of his estate and therefore she could do what ever she wanted - take over my responsibility and take the ashes to the homeland by herself.
I called her and asked her to cease and desist all further actions concerning our dad's estate. She refused and told me that she had purchased her ticket and that it was non refundable. My sister's health condition is unpredictable and she could be hospitalized for a sickle crises unpredictably. She has never purchased a non-refundable ticket.
Furthermore, how could she afford to purchase the tickets?
Finally, I get to the questions:
What recourse do I have?
Is my sister liable, breaking any laws, etc.?
Can dad's friend be held liable for negligence since he chose to not honor my request to retrieve keys (car & house) and the urn from my sister and for bowing out when things got sticky?
Also, he claimed that my dad executed a POD for him to get the contents of a checking and savings account which he used to pay my father's bills when my father was hospitalized. At first he claimed that my dad left it to him in the will. But it says nothing of the kind. The will says that my dad left me all his "worldly goods". Also, when I "threatened" willful negligence, he removed himself from any further service on my behalf or on behalf of my dad's estate. He also defended my sister's position to take the ashes.
I have been referred to an attorney. But, to save time and costs, I'd like to know what if any rights I may have.
Thanks in advance for your help.