Do Not Know If I Made Right Choice.....

Joanne From New Jersey

I had a final restraining order on an ex-boyfriend since Nov of 1998. Today at court I dismissed it. i only did this because I was told that under law he might have the right to have it taken off due to no communication in one yr. well, my boyfriend does not like the guy and tells me the guy willfalse arrest me now that I am not protected. I made the decision to take it off becausemy main fear was being "false arrested" and that was from "hearsay" from my boyfriend. they used to be best friends and since i had an intimate relationship with the other guy whom was a good friend of his he gets mad at me for taking it off. he says now i'll be false arrested etc... my attorney told me that will not happen. i never heard of this stuff my boyfriend is telling me but i should believe him. does anyone know out there if thisguycan come after me with a false charge or something? the order was taken off today, it was a motion to dismss on his part and i did not want to be heard on the fact i met him in january so i let the lawyers settle it. i am so confused on what to believe and what he can do to me now.

i am so confused....please help me out.

i have a 6mth old and i just want my life to go smoothly

Do not know if I made Right Choice

I am not an attorney but I was wondering if your boyfriend was one. He tells you a lot of things about the law so I was just wondering - if you wish to speak with me you can email me at [email protected]

Don't Worry!

First, ANYONE can accuse you falsly of anything at any time. IF your X does that, turning in a false police report is a much larger crime. Adding civil harassment to that and he will pay a very high price. You must be wise to NOT let yourself be manipulated by him in any way. DON'T talk to him, meet him or see him at all for ANY reason! That's the ONLY way he can attempt hanging you falsly. "Just this once", "Just for a few minutes" or "Just for the baby" are NOT good reasons to open the door to a possible horrible experience. Just say "No"! and stick to it. Second, your current boyfriend should be told that you understand what he "Could" do, but that he can help you be calmer & happier by NOT repeating it. You should NOT allow him to foster fear in you. Leave his place, or the room if he brings it up. Threats are abuse through fear. People who carry them are helping that abuse.
Be strong about ending all this usless stress! Move on from the whole thing! If your current boyfriend won't cooperate, think of moving on from him too. Decide how you want to shape your life and "what" kind of people add to your security & happiness and get the weeds out! You CAN do it!

i made that mistake

I had a order against my boyfriend, the father of my 7 mo old son and I felt he should be with his father. I also thought that he was getting help. I was SO WRONG. I was the only one going to counceling and when we got back together he did it again about 6 months later. The first abuse was before I was pregnant the second was when I was 5 months pregnant. Now he has taken to pulling on my son's legs and arms to get him away from me to hit me and attack me. If you want nothing to do with the guy and your life has been smooth without him around. I would not listen to any guy your seeing that is telling you different unless he works in the legal system. Don't end up like me running from him.