false accusations

Okay, got a friend with a MAJOR problem.

Her ex did a hot line call for sexual abuse on their daughter. He was acting off the advice of his physician - SHE DID NOT REPORT IT. His doctor said that the girl had been penetrated and torn.

DFS investigated and the doctor had been wrong. Their specialist stated the child had never been touched and that there were NO TEARS. (THANK GOD!)

Charges and custody hearing were dropped. With apologies from DFS and the courts.

Her ex has attempted to change custody again and he mentions the abuse as his grounds. Stating that the mother allowed the abuse to occur.

He has never brought another investigation and no reports have been filed that she is aware of. So there appears to be NO NEW reports. Assuming that he is talking about the old report which was disproven.

What can she do about him continually bringing the false accuastion and past reports back and forth in court. Everytime that he petitions for custody, this is his grounds. Which required lawyer fees and time.

Is there anything that she can do?

Seems as if there is not much that can be done except have the agency interview the suspected reporter each time a report is investigated. The doctor should be mandated by law to report any suspected abuse, so why is her ex reporting? The doctor if in cahoots again should be investigated if this child ever requires a second exam. Those pelvic exams are extremely hard on children. I have a voluntary case with childrens services in our state to access a great counseling group for my daughter who disclosed abuse to me in 1998. I would reccommend your friend take their child regularly to a counselor and a great childrens book that kids should know is called "A Very Touching Book" by a doctor named Jan Hindman. The first time we read it was uncomfotable it talks about good touches like grandmas hugs bad touches like your brother kicking you and secret touches and the feelings they stir, it teaches kids to tell. If I had read this child this book she might have told the first time it happened. My daughters experience is the reason for the name I chose here. I told her before court that the truth is powerful enough to protect you. If you friend teaches your child about abuse and how to protect themselves it can be a safegaurd to her situation. Too many people report abuse falsely making it extremly hard for a conviction. In our case her perptrator is incarcerated will be registered as a sex offender for life and will recieve three years sex offender treatment program. When my daughter asks why he didnt love her.....I tell her he did love her he just didnt know how to in the right way. Since then I have had to face a lot of prejudges with people sometimes that dont even know me I include no contact orders in all of my childrens files at school and at the doctors and each time have to face questions about what has been done for my daughter, which is ok I am glad they care but it gets old . I feel for your friend it is very dangerous to call children services on someone, children are 5 times more likely to die in foster care than with their parents according to the cps watch web site tigres turned me on to. Good luck to your friend but her best bet is to involve people as safeguards for her child . Also she is entitled to view the previous report and she can testify what was in the report including her husbands interview. She can call the old case worker and ask t review her file and then journal about it.

it scared her really bad the first time he did it. we could both kind of understand the reasoning why. i mean, a doctor comes up and tellsyou this, then you will do something over it. but each time he brings up the old case and it has been disproved by two other physicians and a specialist that works on children.

his doctor has still not made a report to social services. she did not make a statement in the original hearing. just him saying that his doctor told him that she had been abused. she got a copy of their daughters medical records and it does not state that the doctor suspected abuse.

this was the doctor that they used when they were married. when they separated, she took their daughter for a visit for an ear infection. she saw the doctors notes on the desk and it said something about parents divorcing see no psychological probelms at this time. that scared her bad and she got another physician. i could see where it scared her - the woman is a physician, not a psychiatrist.

she was very upset over the pelvic exams, the child was 2 at the time they were occuring. as far as she know he has not taken her for any other exams. all of the cases hinge on the one incident that was disproven.

the lawyers and the judge even mention that he is wasting the courts time, but nobody does anything about it. she is requesting that he pay her attorney fees this time around because there are no "significant change in circumstances", it is basically an abuse of the system.

we were just wondering if there was anything she could do to get him to shut up already about the first case.

I would get a letter from the case worker stating how the case was found, I would als get the entire medical record from that doctor and if there is no abuse indicated I would bring that and also bring a copy of what the court reporter recorded in the first trial " doctor reccommend" if thats what he said. also a copy of a list of state mandated reporters showing the doctor was obligated by law to report, those things wont avoid this comming court date but might help her get her legal fees. This child needs a counselor though I cant stress that enough because unless she is safegaurded he can ask leading questions and children can be lead. A woman once told me she had asked her daughter after a visit with her father if her daddy had touched her privates in the same conversation she said that her daughter and her kept secrets from others, I was floored at how irresponsible this mom had been. Secrets are what abusers use to keep it a secret never teach your kid to keep secrets. Also never ask them if someone touched them it leads them and is the main reason most cases are thrown out. Bottom line if this mom teaches age appropriate abuse prevention through a counselor she is safegaurding her child notonly from the possibilty of abuse but also from misreporting.

they have been in counseling for the past year. she says that she can see the change in her daughter's attitude and behaviour.

i will give her that list of things to take with her. i just wish that the judge can see what he does and that it IS NOT HEALTHY for the child.

just after the abuse charge that he filed the first time, he started taking the child to the police station after every pick up and before every drop off. they stripped the child down and checked her for bruises and scratches. that way he could not if they were there before or after he picked her up.

i mean, if it were visible markings that looked like hand marks or hits, yeah, i could understand. but these are the little bumps and bruises that any kid could get. she found out about it because we went in to do that Ident-a-Kid program (fingerprints and photos) and when we all walked in her daughter started taking off her clothes (she was 4 by this time and it had been going on for 2 years). we didn't know what was happening, but i knew one of the dispatchers and she told us.

THAT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR A CHILD!!!!!!