Help

NJ is where i live. I am the wife of a retired Aif Force member. My husband moved out the first week of July. We have 3 children one being under the age of 18 and all live at home with me. We were married for over 20 years. I am a manager of a hair salon and only make 16.000 a year. What kind of assistance can i recieve in getting legal seperation/divorced? What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

You can try legal aid, but I wouldn't count on that. So you'll either need to find an attorney willing to take your case on the chance that the court will order your husband to pay your legal fees or educate yourself on NJ divorce law.

You will get child support for the youngest child. You might be able to make an argument for temporary spousal support - but I would have a plan for how you're going to use it to create more income (i.e. going back to school). I doubt you will get permanent spousal support.

Thank you. I will try legal aid and see if they can help but i wont count on it.

I don't know if any of your kids are girls, but I would be urging them to make sure that they get themselves to the point where they know they can support themselves and their kids on their own if needed.

Best of luck.

stealth2 said:

I don't know if any of your kids are girls, but I would be urging them to make sure that they get themselves to the point where they know they can support themselves and their kids on their own if needed.

Best of luck.

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I encourage that for either boys or girls!

stealth2 said:

You will get child support for the youngest child. You might be able to make an argument for temporary spousal support - but I would have a plan for how you're going to use it to create more income (i.e. going back to school). I doubt you will get permanent spousal support.

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No, but STBX is retired Air Force. She may be able to get 1/2 of the marital portion of military retirement - which could be significant.

She really needs to find a way to come up with the money for an attorney.

nextwife said:

I encourage that for either boys or girls!

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Emphatically ditto'd!!!

There are alot of other issues that i didn't disclose, he is an Alcoholic who has verbily abused all of us. He is sending text messages to his daughters saying that he is having her sister car repossed and the cable and inter net is being turned off and that, she can't go to the dentist because he can't afford it. I am at a loss of what to do and what action i can take it is only getting worse.....

How old is the "child" whose car payment needs to be paid? My co worker's 17 year old is making their own car payments through their part time job. Have you talked to the offspring driving the vehicle to advise them they may wish to start taking responsibility for covering their own car payment?

What is hubby's current income? If he is has been long term alchoholic, his inability to reliably produce an income, over the long-term should, have long ago been evident.

nextwife said:

I encourage that for either boys or girls!

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I agree, but boys tend to be generally encouraged to be the providers. All too often, girls are encouraged to be the home-body. Bad idea, IMO.

mistoffolees said:

No, but STBX is retired Air Force. She may be able to get 1/2 of the marital portion of military retirement - which could be significant.

She really needs to find a way to come up with the money for an attorney.

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Any divorce is likely to include retirement funds to be split, misty. His being military doesn't make it special.

Husband is a functioning Alcoholic... he makes 60k including retirement. My oldest daughter is 24 and has been paying him for the car because it is in mine and his name. it isn't like she is not responsible for her bills, yes she still lives at home and works full time and is a student aswell. She was just in a really bad car accident and made arrangements to pay him for the car... So he continues to threaten her and is now not making the payments that she has already given him. My youngest is 17. The internet as well she has paid to have for her school work because it has to be in his name, they will not allow her to put it in her name because the house is in his name.

Why can't it be put in your name? They don't actually care who owns the house.

I have tried but i don't quilify because i don't make enough. My bills going out and credit that is now ruined by the bills he hasn't paid.

stealth2 said:

Any divorce is likely to include retirement funds to be split, misty. His being military doesn't make it special.

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True, but military pensions are fairly attractive - and a lot of people don't even think about them, so it was worth a reminder.

mistoffolees said:

True, but military pensions are fairly attractive - and a lot of people don't even think about them, so it was worth a reminder.

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I agree. Many divorcing spouses of military members or ex military members do not realize that they are entitled to a share of their military spouse's retirement.
Therefore its absolutely worth a reminder.

Military pensions start early and last a lifetime, therefore they are significant. In addition, if the length of the marriage was at least 10 years during the military career, the government pays out out the spouse's share directly to the spouse, therefore its not dependent on the military member cooperating with court orders.