Taking everything before separation is even filed?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My husband and I separated a week ago. At first he said he would continue to pay the bills so my daughter and I could stay in the house we're currently in but he has since decided to take my daughter (which he did) and told me today he has no intention of paying anything. When he first left, he took my bank card and told me I must have lost it so I called for a replacement but as I keep checking, he's draining our bank account and I have no access to our money until my new card comes in.

Is there any way I can stop this? If not, what next? They will be cutting my power off Tuesday and rent is due. He said just yesterday he was going to pay those things, but I have a suspicion he did not.

I have not worked for any of the 4 years we were married so I could stay home with our child. This was HIS choice.

Let me add that he got a paycheck yesterday. Out of the 1700 that was in there he has managed to get it down to 450 already.

Uh no. It was your choice. Unless you want to state he held a gun to your head the entire length of the marriage, you could have been employed. Legally, yes he can move out and take stuff with him. Legally, he can take your child with him.

Legally, you can head to the courthouse and file for a divorce. Legally, you can request the child be returned to the marital home. Legally you can request emergency spousal support. Legally, you can list all marital assets and debts to be evenly distributed.

Would those be the assets that were in there yesterday? Because I am thinking he is taking it out to open himself a new bank account this week- in his name only- and deposit the money there and arrange for his checks to be direct deposited in there from now on.

I also have no vehicle as I don't drive. I don't know how to get anywhere here- only his family lives here and they are not about to do a thing to help me. I'm trying not to make him any more angry as that's why he's acting like a huge jerk, but if there is a way I can get money out of it as well- like transferring some to my paypal account- is it legal for me to do this? I'll have to have some kind of money to even get anywhere- he left me with absolutely nothing, not even bus fare.

losthere said:

Would those be the assets that were in there yesterday? Because I am thinking he is taking it out to open himself a new bank account this week- in his name only- and deposit the money there and arrange for his checks to be direct deposited in there from now on.

I also have no vehicle as I don't drive. I don't know how to get anywhere here- only his family lives here and they are not about to do a thing to help me. I'm trying not to make him any more angry as that's why he's acting like a huge jerk, but if there is a way I can get money out of it as well- like transferring some to my paypal account- is it legal for me to do this? I'll have to have some kind of money to even get anywhere- he left me with absolutely nothing, not even bus fare.

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Do you have a bicycle? Or can you borrow one? Bike somewhere and apply for jobs. I bike to work, and I'll bet I'm older than you are. Can you bike to your bank and withdraw some money? Or generate a billpay check to yourself? There are ways to access accounts besides debit cards.

Do you have no accounts of your own at all? From before the marriage?

No, I wish I did have a bicycle. And our bank is the one back in Alabama- they have no branches here or I would have gone to the bank first thing Friday morning myself and gotten some money out. He probably would have tried to totally clean it out himself that way but right now he's limited to getting his max out of ATM's and getting cashback at WalMart, which is what he's doing.

losthere said:

No, I wish I did have a bicycle. And our bank is the one back in Alabama- they have no branches here or I would have gone to the bank first thing Friday morning myself and gotten some money out. He probably would have tried to totally clean it out himself that way but right now he's limited to getting his max out of ATM's and getting cashback at WalMart, which is what he's doing.

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So why aren't you doing the same thing?

Your Plan of Action

First things first, you need to get your support network on board - call your mom, call your dad, best friend, sister, brother and make sure they know what is going on and are in a position to lend you a hand.

Second, you need to hire a divorce attorney.

Third, you need to file a Petition for Divorce. Short term, there is not much you can do to get your property and your child back. Long term, once you get in the court room, ask the Judge for a Temporary Restraining Order restraining your husband from spending anymore marital money.

Also, once you get in the court room, tell the Judge what happened. Tell the Judge that your spouse 'kidnapped' your child, seized control of the marital fiannces, and spent money that belonged to both you and your husband jointly as husband and wife...the Judge will see to it that you are reimbursed for your half of the property.

losthere said:

When he first left, he took my bank card and told me I must have lost it so I called for a replacement but as I keep checking, he's draining our bank account and I have no access to our money until my new card comes in.


I have not worked for any of the 4 years we were married so I could stay home with our child. This was HIS choice**************..
I also have no vehicle as I don't drive. I don't know how to get anywhere

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Are you listening to yourself?

I let him decide whether I should work (and I evidentally have never put a penny during this marriage or before into any accounts of any kind in my name at all) .... He took my bank card so I have no money.... I can't take a bus because I have no money.... If I had money, I still couldn't go anywhere because I don't know how to get anywhere.

Had you TALKED to anyone at your bank and asked if they could prepare a cashiers check out of the account that you would pick up, when he started draining the account?

You have GOT to become more proactive and owning more responsibility for your own well being. Not knowing how to get anywhere is no excuse, use a map, use the internet, ask for directions. Hoof it. STOP waiting for him to act. YOU need to act and stop waiting for him to make decisions and take you places etc.