I need help

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA



I will try to make this as short as possible considering that I am a women it may take me longer )...anyway jokes aside I am trying to figure out some stuff and any help will be appreciated.
Marriage 6 yrs
1 child with special needs, non verbal needs lots of attention, dad provides the roof over the head, some food only when he is home, when he is gone that is mommy's job , dad dont really know how to play / interact with child

Mom - foreign born, in US for 6 yrs....citizen now so no need to ask for immigration status
-child comes always first no matter what
- have her little cleaning company, doesnt work much cause the child needs therapy and all that.
- knows to cook clean and other chores around the house
- not too happy with the marriage but for the sake of the child decided to suck it up, be an adult and try her best
-never cheated on husband while he deployed or stayed home
-good with money, even though at times she wasnt working she always saved enough, therefore 2 cars at the house no payments on it, 2 houses in US and 1 overseas.
-not high maintenance



Dad - military, gone most of the time
- believes he comes first cause he was born before the child
-makes pretty good money never have to worry about bills not beeing payed cause the wife always takes care of that
-never cleaned a house in 6 yrs
-cooked occasionally
-never done family laundry....too much work and he is already tired from work
-cheated on wife, wife got proof pic and all that good stuff
-not a bad guy compared to others but can be a real jerk at times
-shamed with his wife, reason for divorce, she gain weight and she is just a " maid" and he didnt marry a mexican , that to show how stupid he is at times
-never took wife in nice vacation, always told her there are no money



Anyway, one day dad comes home and wants a divorce, no chance on working something out, refusing to go counseling, fall out of love. Well s..t happens and that is ok but my big problem is we have a child, he is non verbal therefore is like having an infant when he is hurt u always have to go with ur best guess whats wrong with him. Very smart little man but cant talk, not even answer at : what is ur name question"
Dad is saying that a judge will make him pay me CS max 400 a month, he knows that from his buddies at work, doesnt wanna take in consideration that this is a special needs child as he still doesnt believe there is something wrong with him, yeah right 5 yrs old and doesnt talk. We have medical records to prove everything and he still doesnt believe
Now I just wanna know, what are my rights? Jag doesnt give me an app, only walk ins so therefore any confidentiality its waived, apparently that is only for active duty members
Dad and mom still lives in the same house, as mom cant afford to move out, separated bedroom and there is been no relationships what so ever since mom found out her husband has little porn movies made with other actress
The mom discover that dad likes an alternative lifestyle, dad doesnt hide it anymore but tells mom she cant do nothing about that cause any proof she might have is obtain illegally ..aka mom snoop on dads laptop...but at that time i think that is marital property
Dad coming home from overseas and plan to get a vacation all by himself for a week at some hedonism club, spends 3k, while mom struggle at home
Dad said that mom cant even complain to his chain of command cause every1 will see her as a scorned wife nothing more, so no1 will listen
I know I am not originally from this country and I am not used with all this system but can be true in anything he is saying? Can he really screw that much with me?


Thanks for reading, I know it was long

Does the child have an IEP through her school? Was the child, because they had special needs, recieving services through Early Intervention or Birth to Three programs?

Has the non verbal child been put through a battery of audiology screenings due to non verbal nature? WHAT interventions are mom and dad getting this child? What is their diagnosed "special needs"?

I ask as the mom of a previously non verbal child with special needs ..

Has mom spoken to an attorney about her marital rights, rights to marital income, property etc. and filing for primary custody, CS etc.?

Why do you state that being a woman would make you less concise? Gender has no bearing on writing ability.

You really need to get yourself a consult with a local attorney so that you will get correct advice rather than the advice from a husband who wants everything to go his way.

You are entitled to 1/2 of the assets that accrued during the marriage and responsible for 1/2 of the outstanding marital debts.

Child support will be based on a state guideline calculation. Do a google search for Child support calculator VA, and run the numbers to get an idea.

Thanks for the answers.
Yeas the child has an IEP since 18 mo, early intervention and now thru the school. He was diagnose with autism. Dad still refuse to believe, he even called me nuts when I start getting all this therapy for him, he said it was way to early, well when ur child is 18 mo and never said mama and never look into ur eyes, something is wrong, even the answers hurts, finding out ur child is autistic its no picnic.
I know that sometimes its hard to make myself understood, due to the fact that I am still translating from native language to English.
I try to talk to lawyers but I donno what got into them, nobody offered a free consultation, and 250 to pay for an hour I just dont have it. I thought if any1 here knows some phone numbers will be great. I do not qualify for legal aid so just wanted to know more stories from any1 who's been tru this.
It's a hard process and can become ugly and that is what I hate most, the part with falling out of love I can understand it, after all we are all human. I just wanted him to stop w the verbal abuse and always telling me that I will never find a man cause I am just a maid and fat. Well I am not a sexy bomb anymore but my heart still same as big as ever.

Time to save your pennies and get that consult, you need a lawyer because your soon-to-be ex isn't going to give you any sort of a fair deal on his own. You said you are good with money and good at saving.

If he is flaunting his infidelity at you and withholding support, you can ABSOLUTLEY go to his commander, the military does NOT look kindly on adultery and he is obligated to support his family. You may be scorned, but you are still his wife, and that means something in the military.