Child and Sexual Abuse

When I was 11 my step father Molested me. I told my Mother and she never did anything about it. I feel though what she has done was all my life she blammed it on me by Mental, and Physically abusing me. That made me believe it was my fault. So therefor I felt like the guilty one and wanted to be a normal little girl so I did'nt want to tell anyone. I thought It was my fault and people would laugh at me. Instead of getting rid of him, I feel that was the way she got rid of me by abusing me. Now that it is 14 years later, and I'm 24 it really has gotten to me. I have had to go on medication for depression cause it was kept inside me for so long. I am currently married and have 3 little boys. I want to do what is right for my family and make myself a better person and Mother. I know I would never do what this man did but it leaves anger inside of me, and it makes me take it out on my husband and children sometimes. I feel that what this man has done it has made my Mother Literally sick and crazy. I feel that it is time to get this out and maybe this Monster can be put away, and my Mother and I can be cured from the pain. My next thing is, what do I do? Can this be a legal case since it has been so long? I am in the State of Oregon, and it happened in the state of Georgia. The Molester also lives in Georgia currently. Thank you, Heidi

No you cannot make him go to Jail but because of your age you may be able to civily sue him. Know his name birthdate and ss#? you can go on the internet and find assets,property bank accounts business licience whatever may help you if he has a lot then it would be worthwhile to sue him. Has to be withen 7 years of your 18th birthday. Helps if someone other than mom who didnt protect you knew the truth. Did he have access to other relatives? Do you speak to them on holidays or still have a relationship?Could you ask them if he did it to them? has to be brought up in either the county of the crime or county he now resides so check those counties out to see what their average is on rewards. Therapy is cure for the pain not his incarceration.You need to decide how long you want this man to have the power you have given him. Sex abuse is about power not sex he took your power when he did it he took you power when he made you feel the way that you felt he takes your power when you let yourself still feel this way. Continue your therapy and decide when it is time to move on..........you can empower yourself....wether you sue or not.

More Options

Many states have updated their laws on this. To be sure
you can call the state attorney general's office, or local district attorney and ask what the statue of limitations is on child molestation. Actually any city's police sex crime department. (the larger the city, the better). You do NOT have to answer any questions they may ask, if you don't want to. The details are 'not' the point. Just the city-state & a first name. You have the right, as a citizen, 'just' to inquire. Weather you press charges, if you can, .. or not (and yes, I would!) is not the same as healing. I totally agree with the other reply on healing. I would also advise you to join a survivors of childhood molestation group immediately. Trust me, that would bring you healing faster and more complete than anything else! Perhaps try out several groups to find the right one. Counseling is also important. You are on the right path to healing, but realize that only your mother can heal herself. You can support her healing, but it's her choice. Don't delay yours for anyone or anything. You have the right to feel your own power, be happy and be at peace... and wisely, you WILL do it!