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Am I getting the Run Around?

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SteveBrandt

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

I was married to my wife for only a year and 2 months when she packed up and left and I never heard from her again (thank God). We had NO children and owned NO property, just rented.
That was in November of 2002 when she left. In April of this year I filed for divorce in absence. The attorney I hired did a search for her as required by law and claims he located her in Miami, FL, however the search showed she's been living in different parts of the country in addition to different parts of Florida during these last 8 years. The search also showed that she had been living at other addresses while still married to me (She used to say she was travelling due to her job & would be away for a week at a time once a month). But the Miami address was shown by the database to be the most recent.

My attorney sent a process server to that address to serve her papers. The process server never actually saw her, my attorney said, but someone who answered the door supposedly said that she lives there, so apparently that's considered a proper serve (?).

Well, since April she has made no contact with the court, nor has responded in any way despite being ordered by the judge to respond. I've read on the internet that in Florida the other spouse has 30 days to respond and if they don't the divorce proceeds without them.

However my attorney says we have to wait for the judge to have her arrested for contempt before we can proceed. As far as I'm concerned how can we even know if she's still there or ever even was if she wasn't seen? This has been dragging on since April of this year and solid proof exists that she and I have not seen each other since 2002, since her searches revealed multiple addresses all over Florida and the U.S., whereas I have lived in the same state and city since 1993.

Am I getting the run around? And is it by the court or my lawyer or both? I mean it seems to me this should have wrapped up by now after 7 months, yet it still drags on with no apparent end in sight. Please help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

I was married to my wife for only a year and 2 months when she packed up and left and I never heard from her again (thank God). We had NO children and owned NO property, just rented.
That was in November of 2002 when she left. In April of this year I filed for divorce in absence. The attorney I hired did a search for her as required by law and claims he located her in Miami, FL, however the search showed she's been living in different parts of the country in addition to different parts of Florida during these last 8 years. The search also showed that she had been living at other addresses while still married to me (She used to say she was travelling due to her job & would be away for a week at a time once a month). But the Miami address was shown by the database to be the most recent.

My attorney sent a process server to that address to serve her papers. The process server never actually saw her, my attorney said, but someone who answered the door supposedly said that she lives there, so apparently that's considered a proper serve (?).

Well, since April she has made no contact with the court, nor has responded in any way despite being ordered by the judge to respond. I've read on the internet that in Florida the other spouse has 30 days to respond and if they don't the divorce proceeds without them.

However my attorney says we have to wait for the judge to have her arrested for contempt before we can proceed. As far as I'm concerned how can we even know if she's still there or ever even was if she wasn't seen? This has been dragging on since April of this year and solid proof exists that she and I have not seen each other since 2002, since her searches revealed multiple addresses all over Florida and the U.S., whereas I have lived in the same state and city since 1993.

Am I getting the run around? And is it by the court or my lawyer or both? I mean it seems to me this should have wrapped up by now after 7 months, yet it still drags on with no apparent end in sight. Please help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
You have actually been married for 8 years. The length of your marriage isn't defined by the date that you separated. Its defined by the date of your final divorce decree.

I will admit that it seems a bit odd to me as well that your attorney hasn't pressed forward for a default divorce. However, the fact that the judge has ordered her to appear tends to indicate that there might be more going on than you are telling us, or that you understand.

Have you flat out asked your attorney why he cannot press for a default divorce? Why you have to wait for the judge to arrest her for contempt?
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
You have actually been married for 8 years. The length of your marriage isn't defined by the date that you separated. Its defined by the date of your final divorce decree.

I will admit that it seems a bit odd to me as well that your attorney hasn't pressed forward for a default divorce. However, the fact that the judge has ordered her to appear tends to indicate that there might be more going on than you are telling us, or that you understand.

Have you flat out asked your attorney why he cannot press for a default divorce? Why you have to wait for the judge to arrest her for contempt?
Yes, I have asked him numerous times in the last two months why we can't proceed without her since she refuses to respond or perhaps isn't even at the address (I didn't use the term Default Divorce when we spoke, but I'm not familiar with all these legal terms), and he said we have to wait for the judge to arrest her for contempt. He didn't say why but he acted like it's part of the procedures that must be followed, and blamed it on the judge, saying that she's a "hardass". He says she won't grant a divorce unless my ex-wife contacts the court and fills out the required forms, or at least until a legthly attempt has been made to get her to do this.

I'm starting to think that my lawyer is bullsh**ing me for some reason, but since I know nothing about the laws in this subject I can't be sure. That's why I'm asking for advice. Please help. What should I say or do? This is putting my life on hold as I want to remarry.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
I'm starting to think that this lawyer is bullsh**ing me for some reason, but since I know nothing about the laws in this subject I can't be sure. That's why I'm asking for advice. Please help. What should I say or do? This is putting my life on hold as I want to remarry.
OK. First rule of divorce: NEVER, EVER, EVER listen to your stbx's attorney. Get your own. And if you can't get your own, don't listen to the other attorney, anyway.
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
OK. First rule of divorce: NEVER, EVER, EVER listen to your stbx's attorney. Get your own. And if you can't get your own, don't listen to the other attorney, anyway.

This IS my attorney I'm talking about. My Ex hasn't even responded, for all I know she's not even at the address where the papers were served, let alone her having a attorney..
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
This IS my attorney I'm talking about. My Ex hasn't even responded, for all I know she's not even at the address where the papers were served, let alone her having a attorney..
Which is why the judge is likely wanting to be sure she WAS actually served.
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
So it's not automatic to file for a default when the other spouse doesn't respond at all?

The judge can delay things like this while she tries to make contact with my spouse? This can be considered normal, going on still 7 months later?
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
If the Judge has ORDERED her to respond, then there must have been a hearing.

What was the hearing for, and most importantly, please post the EXACT wording fo the court order where Judge ordered her to respond.
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
I don't have any documents other than the initial contract that was drawn up when I retained this attorney in April.

I have not, as of yet, had to appear. My attorney goes alone and has told me I'll only have to go to the final hearing when it finally takes place. My attorney calls me after the hearing and tells me what was done, so all I have is what he's told me over the phone.

And like I said, he told me that this judge is a 'stickler for the rules' and is insistant on trying to get my ex into court before granting a Default Judgement.

It just seems to me that after 7 months of trying and no success, a default would finally be entered, which just makes me wonder if I'm getting the 'run around' here, either from the judge (if my lawyer's being truthful) or from my lawyer not pushing hard enough. I keep reading on the net that uncontested divorces wrap up in about 90 days, and a default is considered the same as uncontested.
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
I don't have any documents other than the initial contract that was drawn up when I retained this attorney in April.

I have not, as of yet, had to appear. My attorney goes alone and has told me I'll only have to go to the final hearing when it finally takes place. My attorney calls me after the hearing and tells me what was done, so all I have is what he's told me over the phone.

And like I said, he told me that this judge is a 'stickler for the rules' and is insistant on trying to get my ex into court before granting a Default Judgement.

It just seems to me that after 7 months of trying and no success, a default would finally be entered, which just makes me wonder if I'm getting the 'run around' here, either from the judge (if my lawyer's being truthful) or from my lawyer not pushing hard enough. I keep reading on the net that uncontested divorces wrap up in about 90 days, and a default is considered the same as uncontested.
You are putting too much faith in your attorney. You have the right, and really, the responsibilty to get copies, or see copies of everything that is being filed, every court order, etc.

Apparently, something is going on in your case that is NOT normal, and you need to find out what it is and why.
The reason I say that is that as long as there is proof of service and the required 20 days have passed with no response, then it is a simple matter of filing a motion for default (which the court clerk actually issues after checking to make sure that there is a return of service filed and no response from the respondent). At that point a final hearing date is set, then if the respondent still hasn't responded, the divorce is finalized.

Since your STBX has been legally served and there is a return of service, and has not filed a response, there really shouldn't be any reason to delay. Unfortunately, not all attorneys are good, I have seen some that will deliberately delay the process (especially when thier client isn't asking to see all filings/court orders) simply to increase thier fees.

You can start to find out what is going on by going to the courthouse and reading your entire file. Make up a list of questions that you want to ask your attorney, then speak to your attorney about the situation.
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
If I find that my attorney has delayed this when he didn't have to, can I file a complaint against him, since there's supposed to be attorney/client trust (or I think that's the term used)?

I will go to the courthouse this week and find out.

In fact, can I step in and take over and request the motion for default myself and just remove my attorney from the picture?

Thank you for this advice.
 

SteveBrandt

Junior Member
I found my case online at the court's website and here it is, copied and pasted below. For confidentiality I used "John Doe" for my lawyer's name, and I wrote "My Name" and "My Ex-Wifes Name" where her and my name appeared.




Docket Entries

Docket
Number Docket Type Book and Page No. Attached To:
00000 - ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party:
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
700FF - DRFF/DI
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party: My Name
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
PE - PENDING
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party:
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
RCPT - RECEIPT FOR PAYMENT
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party: My Name
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: A Payment of -$419.00 was made on receipt DXXXXXXX.
1 PET - PETITION
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party: Joe Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: DISS MARR
2 CCS - CIVIL COVER SHEET
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
3 SMIS - SUMMONS ISSUED
Filing Date: 28-APR-2010
Filing Party: My Wife's name
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: DELIVERED TO P/S SM-10-060000
SRTN - SERVICE RETURN (ATTACHED)
Filing Date: 26-MAY-2010
Filing Party:
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: SERVED 05/05/10
4 MDFT - MOTION FOR DEFAULT
Filing Date: 01-JUN-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
5 DFT - DEFAULT
Filing Date: 04-JUN-2010
Filing Party: My Ex-wife's name
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
6 NOUN - NOTICE OF UNAVAILABILITY
Filing Date: 15-JUN-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
7 REQP - REQUEST TO PRODUCE
Filing Date: 20-JUL-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
8 DFD - DEMAND/NOTICE FOR DISCOVERY
Filing Date: 20-JUL-2010
Filing Party:
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
9 NOF - NOTICE OF FILING
Filing Date: 10-AUG-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: NOTICE OF SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER
10 FINA - FINANCIAL AFFIDAVIT
Filing Date: 10-AUG-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
11 NOUN - NOTICE OF UNAVAILABILITY
Filing Date: 27-AUG-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
12 MCMP - MOTION TO COMPEL
Filing Date: 27-AUG-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: none.
13 NOH - NOTICE OF HEARING
Filing Date: 14-SEP-2010
Filing Party: John Doe
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: 09-22-10 AT 8:45AM 6K
14 ORDG - ORDER GRANTING
Filing Date: 23-SEP-2010
Filing Party:
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: MOTION TO COMPEL DTD 09-22-10 LEWIS
15 MCMP - MOTION TO COMPEL
Filing Date: 02-NOV-2010
Filing Party: John Does, ESQ
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: SECOND
16 NOH - NOTICE OF HEARING
Filing Date: 02-NOV-2010
Filing Party: John Doe, ESQ
Disposition Amount:
Docket Text: 11-04-10 AT 8:45AM 6K
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I found my case online at the court's website and here it is, copied and pasted below. For confidentiality I used "John Doe" for my lawyer's name, and I wrote "My Name" and "My Ex-Wifes Name" where her and my name appeared.

You definitely need to go down to the courthouse and get a copy of your file.
It does appear that your attorney filed a motion for a default, but your attorney has also filed all kinds of other motions that are not consistent with a default, after that. You wife was also clearly served since she filed one motion herself.

You need full copies of everything so that you have a clear picture of what is going on.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
You definitely need to go down to the courthouse and get a copy of your file.
It does appear that your attorney filed a motion for a default, but your attorney has also filed all kinds of other motions that are not consistent with a default, after that. You wife was also clearly served since she filed one motion herself.

You need full copies of everything so that you have a clear picture of what is going on.
And/or simply ask the attorney what is going on.

That seems like a lot more practical solution than asking a bunch of strangers to play 20 questions and try to guess what your attorney is doing and why.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
And/or simply ask the attorney what is going on.

That seems like a lot more practical solution than asking a bunch of strangers to play 20 questions and try to guess what your attorney is doing and why.
His attorney is apparently not copying him on the paperwork, and is apparently not fully explaining things to him either. I think that if he gets a copy of the file and reads through everything, that he will have a better picture of what is going on.
 

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