Identity of Paramour

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I'm in the midst of a divorce. I committed adultery...there, I said it. My question is if I admit to it during the divorce process, will the paramour be identified in the final papers? Wife is threatening to "drag this woman through court"...but if I admit to the adultery beforehand will the court be interested?

one_big_dude said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I'm in the midst of a divorce. I committed adultery...there, I said it. My question is if I admit to it during the divorce process, will the paramour be identified in the final papers? Wife is threatening to "drag this woman through court"...but if I admit to the adultery beforehand will the court be interested?

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Possibly, yes.

And possibly, yes.

(I'm really not being a smartypants here - those are the correct answers to your questions).

I agree with Pro.

However, it's probably worth considering how this is likely to play out.

Grounds for divorce in SC include living apart for 1 year (no fault) or adultery (fault).

Do you and your ex have attorneys? If so, it might be worth having the attorneys talk. If you fight the divorce, it can get pretty expensive for both parties very quickly. If the two parties agree, there's not all that much to be gained by fighting.

Granted, adultery could affect property division and/or alimony, but probably not by a lot. So it might be reasonable to offer a stipulated settlement where she gets perhaps slightly more than 50:50 in order to reach an agreement and avoid all the battles. When you consider how much lawyers cost, it may actually be cheaper for you to go this route than fighting.

Also, keep in mind that whether you admit to it or not, her name will likely come out if adultery becomes an issue...

mistoffolees said:

Do you and your ex have attorneys? If so, it might be worth having the attorneys talk. If you fight the divorce, it can get pretty expensive for both parties very quickly. If the two parties agree, there's not all that much to be gained by fighting.

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Yes, we both have attorneys...FINALLY. My soon-to-be ex and her attorney were pushing hard and heavy for me to not hire an attorney. I'm an imbecile when it comes to anything mathematical...ESPECIALLY finances. I consulted with three separate attorneys...paying each about $150 for their time...and all said--after looking at proposal from ex's attorney--that I was definitely being taken advantage of.

one_big_dude said:

Yes, we both have attorneys...FINALLY. My soon-to-be ex and her attorney were pushing hard and heavy for me to not hire an attorney. I'm an imbecile when it comes to anything mathematical...ESPECIALLY finances. I consulted with three separate attorneys...paying each about $150 for their time...and all said--after looking at proposal from ex's attorney--that I was definitely being taken advantage of.

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And this surprises you? Seriously... most divorces have each side trying to get the better deal. And when one has been betrayed by an adulterous spouse? It's usually even worse. That whole "hell hath no fury" deal...