My wife

JRReid · Dec 18, 2010

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hi all

I have a job opportunity in Canada, but the problem is, I am still married. I dont want to give my wife any contact information because she is totally psycho and I dont want her in my daughters life. Do I have to let her know where we are?

What if I just leave? She hasnt been in constant contact with our daughter for several years. Now that the restraining order is over, she has been nosing around my daughters school and trying to get information. I want this woman out of our lives. Out of the goodness of my heart I have been letting her see our daughter, but she has no money to pay child support. Also, my daughter has been having a major attitude with me since her mom came back into her life.

I have this great job opportunity in Canada, but I am not going to tell her mom where were moving to. Is this illegal? I have custody, not her. Why should she get to see her. Also will I need to pay her alimony now?

Just Blue · Dec 18, 2010

JRReid said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hi all

I have a job opportunity in Canada, but the problem is, I am still married. I dont want to give my wife any contact information because she is totally psycho and I dont want her in my daughters life. Do I have to let her know where we are?

What if I just leave? She hasnt been in constant contact with our daughter for several years. Now that the restraining order is over, she has been nosing around my daughters school and trying to get information. I want this woman out of our lives. Out of the goodness of my heart I have been letting her see our daughter, but she has no money to pay child support. Also, my daughter has been having a major attitude with me since her mom came back into her life.

I have this great job opportunity in Canada, but I am not going to tell her mom where were moving to. Is this illegal? I have custody, not her. Why should she get to see her. Also will I need to pay her alimony now?

If you take the child to another country and hide her you will be committing a crime. You will need to get permission from the courts/and or Mom to move the child.
Unless there is a RO barring Mom from access to her child's educational records then she has EVERY RIGHT to "nose around" and DEMAND access to educational records. Medical records as well.

Perhaps your daughters "attitude" is due to the fact that you want to prevent her from having a relationship with her Mother.

JRReid · Dec 18, 2010

It shouldn't matter. Im the custodial parent.

I had to get the RO because she was in the psych ward when we were married, and she wouldnt take her medication. Now she has 2 bogus reports from 2 psychiatrists saying that she didnt need to be on meds, but that it was an abusive marriage, which is why she lost it. I know for a fact that she needed to be on meds. She was diagnosed as manic depressive.

Also, she broke into my house when we were separated. Granted, she had a key, but still. She never had my permission. She claims it was because she was hungry and wanted food. Nothing was missing, but still.

The truth is, she is unstable and she cares nothing about our daughter. I need to get this woman out of our lives because she is unstable and I feelk its what is in the best interests of our daughter.

Just Blue · Dec 18, 2010

JRReid said:
It shouldn't matter. Im the custodial parent.

I had to get the RO because she was in the psych ward when we were married, and she wouldnt take her medication. Now she has 2 bogus reports from 2 psychiatrists saying that she didnt need to be on meds, but that it was an abusive marriage, which is why she lost it. I know for a fact that she needed to be on meds. She was diagnosed as manic depressive.

Also, she broke into my house when we were separated. Granted, she had a key, but still. She never had my permission. She claims it was because she was hungry and wanted food. Nothing was missing, but still.

The truth is, she is unstable and she cares nothing about our daughter. I need to get this woman out of our lives because she is unstable and I feelk its what is in the best interests of our daughter.

PTSD is often misdiagnosed as Manic Depressive Disorder. If she has TWO different DOCTORS stating that she doesn't need med's, then she likely doesn't need med's. Who are you to refute their educated findings? Do you have a PhD?

And as a FYI: Unless there was a RO in effect at the time she let herself into the marital home, she had every right to be there. She did not need your permission.
And if she "cares nothing" for your (plural) child...Why is she looking into her school records? Why is she trying to reestablish her parental relationship?

Frankly you come across as nasty, controlling and ABUSIVE. I feel very sad for your daughter.

edit to add: Being a CP does NOT give you the right to remove the child from her home country and hide her from her Mother.

CourtClerk · Dec 18, 2010

Your being the custodial parent doesn't give you the right to just up and take the child outside of the jurisdiction of the court on a whim. Leaving the state without permission is bad.

Leaving the country? You'll most likely find yourself visiting your child, when caught.

Isis1 · Dec 18, 2010

Wow! You sir are a class A jerk! So you've been hiding the child from mom. Mom found you and you are angry about it. Makes you angry to not be in control, doesn't it? From your own post, it looks like you were abusive. If the child doesn't have a passport, you won't be getting one. You'll need mom's signature on that.

Ohiogal · Dec 18, 2010

It shouldn't matter. Im the custodial parent.

It does matter. Canada will require a passport and permission from the non traveling parent OR the court.

I had to get the RO because she was in the psych ward when we were married, and she wouldnt take her medication. Now she has 2 bogus reports from 2 psychiatrists saying that she didnt need to be on meds, but that it was an abusive marriage, which is why she lost it. I know for a fact that she needed to be on meds. She was diagnosed as manic depressive.

You do NOT know for a fact she needed to be on meds. You are not qualified to diagnose her.

Also, she broke into my house when we were separated. Granted, she had a key, but still. She never had my permission. She claims it was because she was hungry and wanted food. Nothing was missing, but still.

get over yourself. She had a key therefore it was NOT breaking in. If you had a court order granting you sole possession, it COULD have been contempt of court but that is not a guarantee.

The truth is, she is unstable and she cares nothing about our daughter. I need to get this woman out of our lives because she is unstable and I feelk its what is in the best interests of our daughter.

Kidnapping is a crime. Crossing state or international lines is a FEDERAL offense and you can and will lose custody for that. YOU do not have the right to dictate this.

Oh and one other point -- child support is NOT an admission fee. Regardless of whether she is paying or not she has a right to see her child. If you are still married, without court orders, she has equal rights to HER child.

Ohiogal · Dec 18, 2010

CourtClerk said:
Your being the custodial parent doesn't give you the right to just up and take the child outside of the jurisdiction of the court on a whim. Leaving the state without permission is bad.

Leaving the country? You'll most likely find yourself visiting your child, when caught.

I disagree. He will most likely find himself in jail when caught and hence not visiting. At least not for a long time.

stealth2 · Dec 18, 2010

JRReid said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hi all

I have a job opportunity in Canada, but the problem is, I am still married. I dont want to give my wife any contact information because she is totally psycho and I dont want her in my daughters life. Do I have to let her know where we are?

What if I just leave? She hasnt been in constant contact with our daughter for several years. Now that the restraining order is over, she has been nosing around my daughters school and trying to get information. I want this woman out of our lives. Out of the goodness of my heart I have been letting her see our daughter, but she has no money to pay child support. Also, my daughter has been having a major attitude with me since her mom came back into her life.

I have this great job opportunity in Canada, but I am not going to tell her mom where were moving to. Is this illegal? I have custody, not her. Why should she get to see her. Also will I need to pay her alimony now?

JRReid said:
It shouldn't matter. Im the custodial parent.

I had to get the RO because she was in the psych ward when we were married, and she wouldnt take her medication. Now she has 2 bogus reports from 2 psychiatrists saying that she didnt need to be on meds, but that it was an abusive marriage, which is why she lost it. I know for a fact that she needed to be on meds. She was diagnosed as manic depressive.

Also, she broke into my house when we were separated. Granted, she had a key, but still. She never had my permission. She claims it was because she was hungry and wanted food. Nothing was missing, but still.

The truth is, she is unstable and she cares nothing about our daughter. I need to get this woman out of our lives because she is unstable and I feelk its what is in the best interests of our daughter.

Why did you marry someone in a psych ward? How do you know the doctors' reports are bogus. How do you know your daughter's attitude isn't due to (a) hormones and/or (b) YOUR attitude towards the woman you chose as her mother? Or maybe she finally realized that you're a donkey?

rooms222 · Dec 19, 2010

Just a small technical note. To cross a land border with the US (i.e. Canada or Mexico), a child 16 or under does not need a passport, but only a birth certificate. The border guard (Canadian or American can and often does inquire if the adult is a parent, if they are married still and if the other parent is aware of the trip)......Children can use a passport or passport card instead, if they have one.

This is from the Department of Homeland Security's Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative Website....

Children: Beginning June 1, 2009, U.S. and Canadian citizen children under age 16 arriving by land or sea from contiguous territory may also present an original or copy of his or her birth certificate, a Consular Report of Birth Abroad, a Naturalization Certificate, or a Canadian Citizenship Card.

WHTI | USA | Special Audiences

We have radio ads from the Government about this here in Detroit, where cross-border travel is common. The rules about kids under 16 were changed at the last minute to pretty much stay the way they were pre-2009 (As of that date, adults must have a passport, passport card, or enhanced drivers license (NY,MI,VT, and WA only) to visit Canada by land).

mistoffolees · Dec 19, 2010

rooms222 said:
Just a small technical note. To cross a land border with the US (i.e. Canada or Mexico), a child 16 or under does not need a passport, but only a birth certificate. The border guard (Canadian or American can and often does inquire if the adult is a parent, if they are married still and if the other parent is aware of the trip)......Children can use a passport or passport card instead, if they have one.

This is from the Department of Homeland Security's Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative Website....

Children: Beginning June 1, 2009, U.S. and Canadian citizen children under age 16 arriving by land or sea from contiguous territory may also present an original or copy of his or her birth certificate, a Consular Report of Birth Abroad, a Naturalization Certificate, or a Canadian Citizenship Card.

WHTI | USA | Special Audiences

We have radio ads from the Government about this here in Detroit, where cross-border travel is common. The rules about kids under 16 were changed at the last minute to pretty much stay the way they were pre-2009 (As of that date, adults must have a passport, passport card, or enhanced drivers license (NY,MI,VT, and WA only) to visit Canada by land).

Whatever the rules actually state, many Canadian immigration stations require a letter from the other parent when one parent is traveling alone with a child. EVEN WITH A PASSPORT, they can (and often do) still require a letter from the other parent or a court order.

(At least as of last year - I presented my daughter's passport to the agent and he asked for a letter from the other parent. Fortunately, I was prepared).

stealth2 · Dec 19, 2010

I have had the same experience PRE-2009. Numerous times. So Dad is looking at trouble if he's planning on spiriting the child away.

Bali Hai · Dec 19, 2010

mistoffolees said:
Whatever the rules actually state, many Canadian immigration stations require a letter from the other parent when one parent is traveling alone with a child. EVEN WITH A PASSPORT, they can (and often do) still require a letter from the other parent or a court order.

(At least as of last year - I presented my daughter's passport to the agent and he asked for a letter from the other parent. Fortunately, I was prepared).

Canada is quite a distance for an okie to travel. Are you sure you weren't in Kansas?

majomom1 · Dec 19, 2010

rooms222 said:
Just a small technical note. To cross a land border with the US (i.e. Canada or Mexico), a child 16 or under does not need a passport, but only a birth certificate.

The border guard (Canadian or American can and often does inquire if the adult is a parent, if they are married still and if the other parent is aware of the trip)......Children can use a passport or passport card instead, if they have one.

This is from the Department of Homeland Security's Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative Website....

Children: Beginning June 1, 2009, U.S. and Canadian citizen children under age 16 arriving by land or sea from contiguous territory may also present an original or copy of his or her birth certificate, a Consular Report of Birth Abroad, a Naturalization Certificate, or a Canadian Citizenship Card.

WHTI | USA | Special Audiences

We have radio ads from the Government about this here in Detroit, where cross-border travel is common. The rules about kids under 16 were changed at the last minute to pretty much stay the way they were pre-2009 (As of that date, adults must have a passport, passport card, or enhanced drivers license (NY,MI,VT, and WA only) to visit Canada by land).

So.... OP would have to lie in order to cross. It really doesn't matter. Even if OP managed to cross the border, he would still be in serious trouble.

I'm with Stealth... OP married Mom while she was in a Psych ward? What does that say about the OP?

Bali Hai · Dec 19, 2010

majomom1 said:
So.... OP would have to lie in order to cross. It really doesn't matter. Even if OP managed to cross the border, he would still be in serious trouble.

I'm with Stealth... OP married Mom while she was in a Psych ward? What does that say about the OP?

OP was in love and/or lust?

My wife

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JRReid

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