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How do we stand in our inheritance? Left unplanned, now the last minute

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jmoser

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My mom is dying and we are unprepared for the financial stuff.
Basically I think the way things are set up, my brother and I will inherit $50K cash each. Possibly the money in her checking accounts. And some of her belongings, which will remain in the house until her husband dies. I believe his daughter will inherit the vast majority of their estate, because that is how her father has set it up.

We have an appt in 3 business days with a lawyer to set up a family trust.
I'm not sure how much my mother will be able to particiapte;at times she is clearly capable of making decisions, but at other times her pain medicaiton makes her incapable.

I just want to be sure that my brother and I are not being foolish.
(Iknow, seek legal advice but not sure I can accomplish that in the 2 business days we have before this meeting, which I found out about last night (friday night). the meeting is this Wednesday.

Mom has been married to her elderly husband (not our father) for 35 years.
He will probably outlive my mom, although his health is pretty brittle also.
Three surviving children--myself and my brother, and also my step sister (mom's -husband's -daughter).

There are wills. My mom leaves things to her husband, then the 3 of us equally. She has left my brother and myself CDs (I believe payable upon death?) of $50K each,and a similar CD $10k to our stepsister. Her husband has kept everything in his name only, payable on death to his daughter.
(whom he has deemed trustworthy to provide for our mother, if he precedes her death).

Better late than never, I got the ball rolling last week. We all went in to open the safe deposit box at the bank. There is a sizable amount of money and belongings( in the form of ?treasury notes? , coin collections etc) in a bank safe deposit box. That box had only his and his daughter's name listed, ie, only they could access the box (not even my mom). There are some diamonds that have both my sister's and my names typed on the packets, some financial paperwork with my mom's name. We had my name added to the safe deposit box (which he tired to protest). That day at the bank he may have transferred the certificates or whatever into my step sisters name. I'm npt sure what all occurred.

Just recently my mother added me as joint owner to her bank accounts, which have been kept seperate from her husband. (her best friend was present to witness these transactions). We did that because we had no idea of any financial arrangements for their deaths, and did not want her accounts to go into probate. I notified both my sibilings about this, as well as initiating the first appointment with them jointly at their bank to inquire about the accounts and stuff.

Mom's checking accounts between both banks total around $40K. She is also sole owner of a MM IRA for $10K and is joint with her husband on an annuity thats about $40k.

So we are going to this lawyer. I am thinking that my stepfather will set up the trust to leave most everything to my step sister? And that my mom pretty much doesn't have any say in the matter? (if she will even be able to make decisions the day we are there).

What happens to the checking accounts i now own jointly with my mom?
(I have told both my brother and my ssister about this--the point was to make sure the money didn't go thru probate.)
I don't think her husband will claim ownership to her checking accounts; but I'm not 100% sure. His mental acuity is diminished, I don't know if he will even inquire about them. I know he won't contest my mom's decision to add me on to the accounts, I just don't know what his rights are to that money when she dies.

Am I right that my brother and I pretty much stand to inherit the money my monm left us in CDs, and maybe the money in her checking? And not much else?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


curb1

Senior Member
Call the bank, or organization, where the accounts are set up. They should be able to tell you exactly how the accounts are titled and what their actions will be following your mother's passing. These last minute actions can be fuel for a cat fight (has the fight already started?) if not handled properly. It is important that what you do is transparent. Before meeting with the attorney, find out exactly how all items/accounts are titled. Let us know what the attorney advises. He should have better details than we have here.
 

Kiawah

Senior Member
First step as suggested, is to have an inventory of the main assets, and to understand exactly how they are titled, and for those things like IRA's/401K's/LifeInsurance accounts...who the beneficiary is(are). How they are titled, will determine whether they pass directly without regard to what is in a will or trust, whether the assets will pass as per a trust document, or whether distribution of the assets will be distributed as per a will.

Investigate home, vehicles, other rental or investment properties, IRA's, 401k's, life insurance, pensions, annuities, investment (e.g stock/bond/treasuries) accounts, bank accounts, etc.

Many people write a will and think something will happen as per their will, but if the assets are not titled correctly, they may not be part of her 'estate' where the will dictates what happens
 
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jmoser

Junior Member
[I had to edit this to remove the super inflammatory accusations I was tossing about. I was in panic mode and I regret some of the attitudes I was taking here. ]

There is already an air of secrecy from my mom's husband. Initally my stepsister's attitude was "we're in this togethter, we need to find out whats going on". Now that she has seen how much her dad's estate encompasses, her tone seems to have changed.

Initally she and I decided to inventory the security deposit box, but now she said "its not necessary" for the meeting with the lawyer. We agreed to go to a lawyer (as a family) and she chose the lawyer on the recommendation of a coworker. But now she is stating that she is paying the atty. So I will have questions about who this atty is representing at the meeting. If my mom will even be able to participate, in her condition. And if she does have more indepth knowledge of the assets I'll know that she is working on this independently, which is the main thing that irritates me.

It turns my stomach to see my stepsister changing her tune. Thats what bugs me...I have always known that we wouldn't be included to inherit any of my stepfather's assets; but I expect transparency between all of us (kids--her husband barely wants to tell his daughter about his estate)Initally she and I planned to inventory the deposit box, but now she says "its not neccessary" So ok, I can't help wondering if my brother and I would have any legal right to challenge his intention that we don't receive a penny of his. Based on their marriage of 35 years.
I'm thinking we dont. based on the way he set things up, he can purposely and effectively cuts us out, right? It is his perogative...

Because at the trust meeting, Im wondering how the lawyer will suggest it be set up. And what if any my mom or my brother and I's input will be counted. And if my mom isn't able to participate because of her pain medications, how does that effect the proceedings? I thought about getting a power of atty for her finances but I've been led to believe that wouldn't mean much in this type of planning...

your thoughts are appreciated. We aren't going after their assets, but I would like to be able to look my step sister in the eye (if indeed her transparency is giving in to greed) and let her know that we COULD protest some of the goings on, we just aren't going to.

If my mom had felt strongly enough, she would have fought harder to change the way stuff is set up, so to follow her wishes I need to back off.
 
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curb1

Senior Member
jmoser,

Almost everything you discuss will be determined by how these assets are held/titled. So that is your first step. It will get more difficult to straighten things out after your mother passes. Money changes personalities. Nothing new there, and it is to be expected. That is why estate planning is so important, and the earlier the better.

Good luck, and let us know how this develops.
 

jmoser

Junior Member
the appt with the atty re: the trust is wed.
I think at that appt I'll know if we will be working together versus a more adversarial approach.
I did speak with an atty today(forgot I have a legal plan at work)
and I feel hopeful that my brother and I will be allowed to retain control of my moms sole checking, savings and cd accounts (which I am joint owner on)
while her husband could claim part of thiose accounts as community property, her accounts are meager compared to his assests, and it might be better for him not to open that door. Anyways, we'll learn more...

II very much want to thank you for giving me a place to panic, and vent,, and get some basic understanding of the process and some terminology. Finding this forum on the internet that night helped me to sort out my thoughts and feel less isolated, and gave me some understanding of what needs to happen.
You helped me calm down. For me, keeping a calm head has a huge impact on getting the results I want. So thank you for your time and your responses. I will return to let you know how things sort out.
 

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