domestic violence,abandonment,child custody

RE: Domestic violence and custody

My sister recently filed for divorce. She has 3 children (all boys), ages 2, 11, 13.5. She had been married 17 years. Her husband beat the s--t out of her when he found out there was another man involved ... it wasn't until then that he finally signed the divorce papers. He had been staying at his mothers some of the times. My sister agreed to let him stay for the easter weekend since his mother had family over. My sister also led him to believe that these next 180 days would be a trial separation, and not necessarily mean things were completely over. On Good Friday she went to stay at my parents. She called him and left a message "I'm at my parents...and going to bed now." When he got home, he went to my parents to talk to her. Well she was not there. He found out some way or another that she was with her boyfriend. Well he went crazy!! He called me @11:30 pm. Told me to get my black dress ready...and that he was going to put a bullet to her head and her boyfriends. I was scared he was serious so decided to call his sister. She had no car and asked me to drive her to his house. When we got there he was so upset..." how could she do this" He did have a gun and knife. We talked to him until 3am, took the gun and knife from him and left. My sister had got wind of all this ... and decided in the interest of all those involved she had to leave. Well she did ...with her boyfriend who is in the Air Force stationed in COLORADO!! She left all the children!!! (which I could not come to terms with at all). My mother wants me to go to the sheriff and have it on record that I saw the guns and knife and that his sister took them away. I told her I did not want to do that. My mother is now mad at me and told my older sister " It will be a cold day in hell before I ever talk to her again!!"

Please help!!! I want to do the right thing by everyone, but especially for those caught in the middle...the children. PLEASE advise.

Thanks,
BG (Louisiana)

Are you afraid he would hurt the kids? Could you suggest his sister suggest to take the children? or give custody/guardianship to you?

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I am a law school graduate. What I offer is mere information, not to be construed as forming an attorney client relationship.

response re: input from lawrat

lawrat:
My brother-in-law presently has filed for total custody. He is an excellent father, however, it has been stated by my mother that he was neglecting as a husband...my sister had the majority of all decision making left up to her. I guess she found most of her emotional needs met by her new love. Then again I don't know if she is maybe a little on the psychotic side herself. I love her dearly and am very worried about her. I find myself wondering if maybe she is suffering from postpartum depression (her youngest boy is only 2 yrs. old). It is totally out of her character to just leave her children. I have contact from her husband and he states she is more concerned over the division of the furniture...vs. her own children. She started drinking alot within the last year, and had little to know social contact w/her own family. Now she only calls to speak to my parents every other nite. (she was never really close to them, but now is and I feel like they support her decison. This other guy as they say "has a lot to offer"...he is planning to get his master's in aerodynamic space r/t airforce. I realize her husband was a struggling carpenter and not much of a paycheck...but I can't help but wonder if she's all there mentally. Is there anything (maybe get a psych. consult...or commit her for evaluation? Doesn't she realize the longer she stays in Colorada w/boyfriend that her children will hate her!! Maybe I should mind my own business??? I just don't want her to wake up one day w/severe feelings of guilt for leaving her children or a big belly from cirrohosis!! thanks for listening and responding.
Sincerely,
mooncookie