The Fate of My 20-Year-Old Daughter: Possession of Heroin With the Intent to Sell

My 20-year-old daughter is in jail. She was already on probation for violating a marijuana law. This time, she was caught with heroin (1 felony charge) - with the intent to sell, methamphetamine possession (1 felony charge) and violation of probation (a misdemeanor). She has been pleading with me to try to bail her out before Monday, May 2, but my job was outsourced last month and my family has VERY little, if any income!

My daughter says there are things she can't tell me over the phone that will help her case, and that she needs to be bailed out to clear things up before Monday. Up to this time, I have called a few recovery and rehabilitation centers to try to find out prices and possibly enroll her in a program on a "sliding scale," but from what my daughter told me over the phone, there is little the court will do to help her since she has a charge of "intent to sell" on one of the felonies.

So - my question: Do you have any idea of what would give the Orange County (CA) DA a reason to NOT send my daughter to a state prison, when she has barely seen the inside of a jail cell?

Thanks in advance!

(And I'm fully prepared for the Bill-Handelesque comment: "Is your daughter a lesbian? Well if she isn't now, she will be!")

If those charges stick, she is going to the state institution. No doubt.

If you want to do her a favor, get her an attorney and she can tell her tale to him/her.

Chances are her attorney will push for a plea to possession. That will give her a chance at diversion which will include mandatory counseling, testing, and probation (plus fines and maybe community service).

If they go after her for the sales, she will at least do county time with extensive probation afterward.

Thank You For Your Responses!!!

I thank the both of you VERY MUCH for your answers. I posted this on another forum, and received two other varied answers that were also quite helpful. A friend whom I realized just passed his CA bar exam a couple of years ago - although specializing in probate law - suggested I try to contact my daughter's appointed attorney, the public defender (our only affordable alternative), whom I have left a message with.

While I in NO way ignore the negative connotations involved with those dealing in narcotics, I know that every person has had a parent at one time or another, and if a child is fortunate - they have one who will at least try to figure out what went wrong and how it is preventable.

I will post an update on this after Monday, in case anyone is curious about CA courts and laws "behind the Orange Curtain!" I DO think I have a penitent daughter, even if her contrite attitude may be a little too late!

kahuna said:

I thank the both of you VERY MUCH for your answers. I posted this on another forum, and received two other varied answers that were also quite helpful. A friend whom I realized just passed his CA bar exam a couple of years ago - although specializing in probate law - suggested I try to contact my daughter's appointed attorney, the public defender (our only affordable alternative), whom I have left a message with.

While I in NO way ignore the negative connotations involved with those dealing in narcotics, I know that every person has had a parent at one time or another, and if a child is fortunate - they have one who will at least try to figure out what went wrong and how it is preventable.

I will post an update on this after Monday, in case anyone is curious about CA courts and laws "behind the Orange Curtain!" I DO think I have a penitent daughter, even if her contrite attitude may be a little too late!

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Take is from someone who had a "penitent" step son.

Let them take their medicine and stay in custody as long as possible. If you bail her out, be ready to say goodbye to whatever bond you post. As a drug addict she only cares about one thing ~ where her next high is coming from.

I wish you luck ~ stay strong.

Heroin and methamphetamine are not causal, recreational drugs. They are a lifestyle. If used together, they are a very quick way to crash and burn and there becomes a very serious physical and psychological addiction.

Meth, especially, is an all-consuming drug. Users (and dealers) become so addicted to the high that they ignore most everything else: jobs, family, friends, food, drink, sleep, etc. It is probably the most insidious substance out there. Most users will say or do anything to convince those that want to support them that they have learned their lesson. In probably 9 of 10 instances, this just is not the case.

I am active in my local recovery community and have seen meth addicts do some very heinous things to feed their addiction. I have seen them rip off siblings, friends, parents, and even sell their children to get a fix. It is a fiendish substance.

People who kick meth have my respect, as do those who are struggling - TRULY struggling - to get off of it. Unfortunately, most users pay only lip service to the fight because they almost all have those who will "save" them from the consequences of their actions ... we call those folks "enablers."

I echo Antigone's comment about staying strong and allowing her to suck up the ambiance of the justice system for a bit. She will NOT recover until she wants to. If she gets bailed out, is given a place to sleep, a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, and supported in every way so long as she tells you what she wants to hear she will have absolutely no reason to quit.

Your daughter is not only risking prison for her actions, but she is putting her own life at risk each day. Heroin is a crap shoot with each use. In my 20 years, I can't tell you how many junkies I have found dead with the needle still in their arm, leg, hand or foot ... I lost count years ago.

She needs help. Encourage her to get help, offer to give her a ride to rehab, but be careful not to cushion her from the effects of her self-destructive and criminal decisions.

The Fate of My 20-Year-Old Daughter

I agree with all y'all!

The reason I have had custody of my daughter since she was five is because of her mother - a long-time substance abuser!

I am currently on hold with a local treatment center, attempting to obtain eligibility for my daughter on my "sliding-scale" income. As a father, I do not want to see her go to a state institution, and as a person - I do not want to watch her return to drugs - which, I realize addicts will (not "might," and not "could," but "WILL") do! (Remember: I was married to an addict.)

And I also realize one rides on a razor's edge with heroin AND meth! I would urge ANY parent to not be afraid of looking like an "*******" to his or her kids when suspecting drugs. For every ten of us whose parents suspected (and had little to worry about) there was at least one kid who should have been "under the microscope!"

My main concern is my daughter's health - and if this center ever takes me off hold, I am seeking this for her - but I would rather she do this from a recovery center than to merely have to contemplate what she did wrong from a prison cell!

kahuna said:

I agree with all y'all!

The reason I have had custody of my daughter since she was five is because of her mother - a long-time substance abuser!

I am currently on hold with a local treatment center, attempting to obtain eligibility for my daughter on my "sliding-scale" income. As a father, I do not want to see her go to a state institution, and as a person - I do not want to watch her return to drugs - which, I realize addicts will (not "might," and not "could," but "WILL") do! (Remember: I was married to an addict.)

And I also realize one rides on a razor's edge with heroin AND meth! I would urge ANY parent to not be afraid of looking like an "*******" to his or her kids when suspecting drugs. For every ten of us whose parents suspected (and had little to worry about) there was at least one kid who should have been "under the microscope!"

My main concern is my daughter's health - and if this center ever takes me off hold, I am seeking this for her - but I would rather she do this from a recovery center than to merely have to contemplate what she did wrong from a prison cell!

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As a person who watched a family member struggle with heroin for most of their life, dealt with 3 overdoses from them, multiple instances of stolen money/property etc I can tell you with ALL seriousness that rehab will ONLY work if they are ready for it to work. Otherwise its just an expensive vacation from jail. My family spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on rehab with my family member only to have them relapse shortly after each and every time. It was heartbreaking to watch. In the end we had no choice but to let them go. You have a long road ahead of you and I urge you to consider letting her go to jail THEN rehab. Jail to give her the painful consequences of illegal activity, then rehab to figure things out on the other side. But as Cdw and Tigi said, focus on the tough side of love but be prepared though if things to go south afterwards. I wish you the best of luck.

You're daughter may be facing 4-5 years for distribution/possession charges.(depending on local law) In addition to that, whatever the original plea for her probation is added on.
One route is to bail her out and send her to a rehab facility asap, while you have the chance.(following legal procedures and laws of course) If you want to do that, youll need to get her out of jail now, because once the wheels of justice start going, she will end up being sentenced most likely to several years unless you have a really good lawyer.
If she was on probation, there will be no bail, its an automatic go to jail card do not get pass go or get bailed out, unless there is a rare chance that she slips under the radar, and it didnt come up in the system yet, which does happen at times. As previously stated, rehab is great, and she will hopefully be willing to do the work to conquer it.
I highly recommend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings while shes in jail, and when she gets out. The AA program has saved countless lives.And for you I'd recommend Alanon if you're interested.
Ask the judge at her hearing to send her to rehab in lieu of jail time, and make it clear to him/her that she has a drug problem.

Jail/Prisons, most likely do not cure drug addicts. Those who tell you differently are wrong. A lot of times, jails set up non violent offenders( drug addicts) for failure. They get felony records, cannot get jobs, and end up violating and going back to prison, it's a vicious cycle. It is just the way the American society and court systems are set up at this time.
Highly recommend you get a real attorney and not a public defender, since public defenders work for the state.
Whatever ends up happening is the way God intended it to happen, but Hopefully your daughter will not ruin the rest of her life with drugs.

Remember, drug addiction is a disease, and should be treated as such. Being an addict or alcoholic does not make you a bad person. The acts people do to obtain there drugs are bad, but it is like any other disease such as cancer or diabetes. You are mostly likely born with the gene, becoming susceptible to the illness. Addiction is a mental, physical, and spiritual malady, and one needs to get medical and spiritual help to resolve it.
http://www.nida.nih.gov/infofacts/understand.html
I hope it works out for the best.

What Happened:

After watching women shackled to my daughter be sentenced to prison sentences for three court appearances in a row (in separate cases), I scraped up as much as I could and found (in my opinion) the best attorney in Santa Ana. The firm took my case and treated my daughter and I as if I had paid a premium price for services. The result: My daughter was given a "deal" of 90 days (minus time served) - take it or leave it. No reduction on two nonviolent felonies, formal probation for 3 years, and a bucket o' fines.

After two months and a transfer to the honor farm (due to overcrowding), my contrite daughter was gleefully released and called me one Saturday morning to come and get her from the grimiest area in Santa Ana, CA. I kept a close watch on her, and, after her probation officer advised me to "loosen my grip," watched her voluntarily enroll in an outpatient program. She still lacks many of the standard "mod cons" such as her own phone, auto, and money of her own, but she will have these eventually, and she will have the three most important things you can have - her health, her freedom, and knowing that someone cares about her!

I am in NO WAY an expert on this situation, but I learn more every day. The most difficult part of being a parent is knowing when to take over and when to let a child (or an adult child) make his or her own mistakes!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Since I am going to court-reporting school, I expect to see so much more of this human drama in the future.