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Please help my Wife

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Husband001

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CALIFORNIA

First, let me apologize if this is the incorrect place to post this, but it seemed like the best place. Second, please allow me to give you a bit of background on the problem and hopefully you can help me or direct me to someplace on the web that can.

My wife is an associate at a major law firm in Los Angeles. She graduated from law school near the top of her class and is diligent in her work. On the majority of her evaluations, she has been praised as a good lawyer.

However...

There is a senior associate at the firm that consistently behaves erratically and with disrespect towards her. Not only her I should add, others have also sufferered under this associate's verbal abuse and derision. However, my wife has reached the end of her rope. Her stress level is through the roof, she doesn't eat enough and she often comes home and cries in my arms.

Although I do not work at the firm, I am not a lawyer, I have encountered people like this in my life. She has been described to me as ambitious, does her work adequately, but isn't anything special. She seems determined to step on anyone she needs to reach the top. She is careful to only work with partners who give her good reviews (which I hear is down to One) and has dodged a few bullets in the past that may have gotten her sacked.

But now to the nutshell: My wife finally took her complaints to the attorney coordinator and her direct supervising partner and...they aren't doing anything. "The Path of Least Resistance" or "do nothing and hopefully this will go away" approach. I cannot accept this. There are several junior associates and support staff who have also suffered. Some junior associates left the firm soley because they had to work with this abusive associate, but said nothing for fear of their careers. Only my wife had the courage to take a stand, but now she is in fear of her own career, as nobody seems to want to do a damn thing to stop this Abusive Associate from destroying other employeers who are not up the "superior work standards" this person pretends to have.

What can my wife do now? I have told her to just keep her head down for now and see what happens and continue to look for work elsewhere. I am so fed up I told her to just quit, even though I am unemployed right now, I just can't take it that this abuse will continue. What is the advice you would give my wife in this situation or can you please tell me what I should do next or where to look next if you don't know?

Thank you,

Husband who loves his wife, who has already suffered enough on many other things.
 


Isis1

Senior Member
Man, I hate being the bearer of bad news. Especially this late at night.

Your wife took it up with her superiors. They seem to be okay with this person's performance. There is no law that requires a co-worker, employer or employee for that matter, to be nice.

And your wife practices law. She should know this. If she cannot grow thick skin, she needs to look for other employment. Of all lines of business, law is pretty cut throat, so she needs to be able to handle it.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
And by the way.....this would be under employment law, not legal ethics. Just letting you know.:)
 

Husband001

Junior Member
Your right, a thick skin is required in the legal business. Unfortunately a series of events in 2010 tore some of that skin away, which I won't get into here, it isn't relevant.

Like I mentioned, this associate in question has dodged the "your fired" bullet a few times already it seems. Someday it will perhaps hit. It's just difficult to see someone you care about have to put up with unwarranted abuse.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Your right, a thick skin is required in the legal business. Unfortunately a series of events in 2010 tore some of that skin away, which I won't get into here, it isn't relevant.

Like I mentioned, this associate in question has dodged the "your fired" bullet a few times already it seems. Someday it will perhaps hit. It's just difficult to see someone you care about have to put up with unwarranted abuse.
She doesn't have to put up with anything. Your wife can get a new job or strike out on her own in a solo practice. She doesn't have to be unhappy at her job. She has choices but if she doesn't want to make that decision there is nothing anyone else can do.
 

sandyclaus

Senior Member
She doesn't have to put up with anything. Your wife can get a new job or strike out on her own in a solo practice. She doesn't have to be unhappy at her job. She has choices but if she doesn't want to make that decision there is nothing anyone else can do.
I agree.

You clearly stated that several other associates have quit when they were forced to work with this person. She also has this option, but chooses not to exercise it. While I'm sure she has her reasons, she alone has to decide whether or not her continued employment in such a hostile environment is worth it to her. it is clear that the firm does not stand behind her, but instead behind the alleged abuser. That would speak volumes to me.
 

Hot Topic

Senior Member
No one in the office should gossip about ANYTHING.

It's not your job to "rescue" your wife from an unpleasant associate. It's her job to either deal with the situation or leave.

When a husband seeks help for his wife, he basically is saying that she's not up to the challenge of dealing with the matter herself.
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
No one in the office should gossip about ANYTHING.

It's not your job to "rescue" your wife from an unpleasant associate. It's her job to either deal with the situation or leave.

When a husband seeks help for his wife, he basically is saying that she's not up to the challenge of dealing with the matter herself.
Especially as a professional litigator and legal counselor.

I am most concerned about these phrases - "I cannot accept this." - and - "please tell me what I should do next".

You don't have a say whatsoever. In fact, your involvement will only worsen the problem without lessening it.

Imagine your wife's coworkers after you enter the fray. Here we have a professional and well educated person hired by clients to stand up for them... and she can't stand up for herself and needs her husband to fight her battles.

Not a very strong reputation for a lawyer to have.

You cannot ignore the political climate. Even if this terrible person leaves, the stain on your wife's reputation will remain.
 

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