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DNA Testing for Adult Child

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HonorThyFather9

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

PA

I am an adult child 25 years of age. I do not know my biological father. I know it is too late to get the court to order a paternity test and the "alleged" father refuses to take a DNA test that I would be willing to pay for.

I contacted him 3 years ago after building up enough confidence and courage to do so. He was very apologetic, admitted to being with my mother and offering her help after I was born. My mother did not pursue any action against him or anyone for reasons unknown. He asked if I wanted to meet.

Two weeks later I called him and he had a change of heart, said he does not want to know the truth. I told him that is fine but that I tried and it is now out of my hands.

I think about it from time to time and I would like to know. I do not understand why he would be nice at first and then change his mind 2 weeks later but he did. Nevertheless, would it be illegal to obtain perhaps a soda can or something that he drinks and throws in trash and then scoop it out just so I can put it to rest. It's not like I could get anything from him now that Im 25 so I don't get why he just can't do a test and then never speak to me again.

thoughts?
 


I am sorry that your dad doesn't agree to take the test, I don't think you have a legal recourse unless it depended on your life and it sounds as if your just curious.

As for getting a soda can out of the trash, well I trash pick stuff and as far as I know as long as your not trespassing, once someone throws something in the trash it is fair game.

How do you even know if it is the guy you contacted?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am sorry that your dad doesn't agree to take the test, I don't think you have a legal recourse unless it depended on your life and it sounds as if your just curious.

As for getting a soda can out of the trash, well I trash pick stuff and as far as I know as long as your not trespassing, once someone throws something in the trash it is fair game.

How do you even know if it is the guy you contacted?
And as far as I KNOW you could be breaking many laws by trash picking depending upon where the trash is located and so on and so forth. Someone throwing stuff in the trash is not fair game necessarily.

PLEASE QUIT POSTING. GOT IT?

What municipality is this individual located within? What municipality is the legal stranger located within? Where is his trash located? Does the man have his property posted? Does he live in a house or apartment? Does his garbage have a lock upon it?

Should I continue? Because quite frankly you are misleading people left and right. KNOCK IT OFF.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
I am sorry that your dad doesn't agree to take the test
This man is NOT her dad! He is a man who admitted to having had sex with the mom. Merely admitting to sex doesn't automatically make one the father. Odds are, like most people, mom had more than one relationship in her life.

We have no way to know if he is dad, legally he is certainly not. There is nothing that can be legally done to compell this man to allow DNA testing. Mom chose to not pursue a DNA test when it could be done. IT is too late now. MY child also doesn't know who is her biodad (or who is her biomom) and likely never will be able to find out, sometimes our kids don't get to have all the answers.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

PA

I am an adult child 25 years of age. I do not know my biological father. I know it is too late to get the court to order a paternity test and the "alleged" father refuses to take a DNA test that I would be willing to pay for.

I contacted him 3 years ago after building up enough confidence and courage to do so. He was very apologetic, admitted to being with my mother and offering her help after I was born. My mother did not pursue any action against him or anyone for reasons unknown. He asked if I wanted to meet.

Two weeks later I called him and he had a change of heart, said he does not want to know the truth. I told him that is fine but that I tried and it is now out of my hands.

I think about it from time to time and I would like to know. I do not understand why he would be nice at first and then change his mind 2 weeks later but he did. Nevertheless, would it be illegal to obtain perhaps a soda can or something that he drinks and throws in trash and then scoop it out just so I can put it to rest. It's not like I could get anything from him now that Im 25 so I don't get why he just can't do a test and then never speak to me again.

thoughts?
What are you trying to accomplish? If it's just your curiosity and you have no intention of ever speaking to him again, why should he bother? I can absolutely see his side - why do ANYTHING simply to satisfy some annoying punk's curiosity?

OTOH, if you were serious about establishing a relationship and wanted to get to know him, then the DNA test wouldn't be necessary.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Since you are willing to pay...

Hire a Private investigator.

I can see why you would want closure.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What are you trying to accomplish? If it's just your curiosity and you have no intention of ever speaking to him again, why should he bother? I can absolutely see his side - why do ANYTHING simply to satisfy some annoying punk's curiosity?

OTOH, if you were serious about establishing a relationship and wanted to get to know him, then the DNA test wouldn't be necessary.
Would you really want to establish a relationship with someone if they might not be your parent? Apparently it doesn't seem to be 100% certain.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Just curious - what is a private investigator going to do after 25 years?
He wants a paternity DNA test done.

A private investigator could handle that.

I can understand understand why someone would want closure on who their father is, especially when a putative father is known and rejects them.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I find it interesting that OP believes that the S/He has some sort of legal right to know this information. S/He does not.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I find it interesting that OP believes that the S/He has some sort of legal right to know this information. S/He does not.
OP doesn't have the right. Sadly, if her mother had been an honest person who thought it mattered, mom could have pursued it many moons ago.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
He wants a paternity DNA test done.

A private investigator could handle that.

I can understand understand why someone would want closure on who their father is, especially when a putative father is known and rejects them.
I wouldn't put it that way. We keep telling our poster's that being biodad does NOT make them legal dad.

If mom was married, for example, husband would be legal dad, and may have acted as dad all these years. If someone else was put on the birth certificate, and paternity was never DIS EStablished, then that person is and remains dad. Just because he now, at this adult child's age, doesn't choose to suddenly step into dad shoes does not mean they are ""rejecting" THEIR child. This adult may never be "their" child, may always be legally someone elses child, and certainly will always be an adult they were not able to participate in raising. Some of us consider the ACT of parenting, of raising the child, to be what REALLY makes us a parent. regardless of DNA.
 
I see my post got removed for smpathizing with op and the situation. I don't think anything. And stealth I am on a smart phone so that's how it is done. You two are very hateful people. I am not a hateful person. That post about the pot was for my girlfriend so u should use better judgmentand refrain from calling me druggie. Pot has many medical qualities and states r starting to acknowledge.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I see my post got removed for smpathizing with op and the situation. I don't think anything.
No. Whoever reported your post likely did so due to your very rude and nasty comment to a vetted lawyer on this site. And no, it wasn't me.

And stealth I am on a smart phone so that's how it is done.
Cow cakes. An intelligent person is capable of using a phone while using proper English. Sure, sometimes one uses shortcuts. But not all the time. That's what ignorant people do.

You two are very hateful people. I am not a hateful person.
Maybe not. Although your comment to OG belies your assertion. You are however, ignorant.
 
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