Everyone tells me..."Get a Job!"

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Here's the deal...I would be happy to "get a job" if it would help support my kids more than I'm able to support them by being home...

I am married to the father of my 2 yr old daughter and have two boys (7 & 10). I split custody with my boys' father (everything 50/50).

My current husband pays child support for his four children from a previous marriage, leaving us strapped financially.

I've done the math...where I live, the most I'd be able to make is $12 an hour. Working 40 hours per week, then paying child care costs, I'd be bringing home approx $550 per month. My ex would then have to pay his portion of child care, averaging around $250 a month.

Wouldn't it be in the better interest of my kids, for my ex to pay me that $250 and then I could make the additional $300 from home (buying and selling on ebay/craigslist)?

What are your thoughts? What can I do?

What makes you think it's a slam-dunk your ex would have to pay for child care costs? Perhaps he could take care of the kids while you're working, therefore making the child care cost issue moot.

If your net is $550 after child care costs, then your ex kicking in his share at $250 would bring your net back up to $800. For a family that's "strapped financially", $800 a month is a pretty significant amount.

heatherplus3 said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Here's the deal...I would be happy to "get a job" if it would help support my kids more than I'm able to support them by being home...

I am married to the father of my 2 yr old daughter and have two boys (7 & 10). I split custody with my boys' father (everything 50/50).

My current husband pays child support for his four children from a previous marriage, leaving us strapped financially.

I've done the math...where I live, the most I'd be able to make is $12 an hour. Working 40 hours per week, then paying child care costs, I'd be bringing home approx $550 per month. My ex would then have to pay his portion of child care, averaging around $250 a month.

Wouldn't it be in the better interest of my kids, for my ex to pay me that $250 and then I could make the additional $300 from home (buying and selling on ebay/craigslist)?

What are your thoughts? What can I do?

Click to expand...

Does Dad need daycare on his time?

posting Hx.

>Charlotte< said:

If your net is $550 after child care costs, then your ex kicking in his share at $250 would bring your net back up to $800. For a family that's "strapped financially", $800 a month is a pretty significant amount.

Click to expand...

No...the $250 I would ask of him would only be if my kids weren't in child care If I was working, his portion would go directly to the daycare.

I am considering his work sched now...he works as an emt (24 hour shifts) and I would more than likely work at our local shipyard here (mon - fri, 7am - 4pm).

Blue Meanie said:

posting Hx.

Click to expand...

What does "posting Hx mean"?

Bottom line is, you can't start playing around with "What if I do that and he pays me that, and it all evens out to this...."

You have a child. You have an obligation to financially support that child. Both you and your ex share that obligation. Whether or not you work is entirely up to you, but your share of that cost will be computed into whatever the total amount is, the balance being your ex's share. If you can bear that burden without working, great. If you can't, you need to find a job.

You can still do the eBay/Craigslist thing when you're home. That will add to your net income.

heatherplus3 said:

What does "posting Hx mean"?

Click to expand...

It means she wants us to look at your posting history on another thread and construct our answers according to that.

>Charlotte< said:

Bottom line is, you can't start playing around with "What if I do that and he pays me that, and it all evens out to this...."

You have a child. You have an obligation to financially support that child. Both you and your ex share that obligation. Whether or not you work is entirely up to you, but your share of that cost will be computed into whatever the total amount is, the balance being your ex's share. If you can bear that burden without working, great. If you can't, you need to find a job.

You can still do the eBay/Craigslist thing when you're home. That will add to your net income.

Click to expand...

Thank you.

Getting a job is a viable option. I know many people who do something that allows them to work from home.

You could also get a part time job during the hours that your husband is at home, so no child care would be needed.

heatherplus3 said:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Here's the deal...I would be happy to "get a job" if it would help support my kids more than I'm able to support them by being home...

I am married to the father of my 2 yr old daughter and have two boys (7 & 10). I split custody with my boys' father (everything 50/50).

My current husband pays child support for his four children from a previous marriage, leaving us strapped financially.

I've done the math...where I live, the most I'd be able to make is $12 an hour. Working 40 hours per week, then paying child care costs, I'd be bringing home approx $550 per month. My ex would then have to pay his portion of child care, averaging around $250 a month.

Wouldn't it be in the better interest of my kids, for my ex to pay me that $250 and then I could make the additional $300 from home (buying and selling on ebay/craigslist)?

What are your thoughts? What can I do?

Click to expand...

Couples can try to find work that splits kid time. Hubby works when? You could work hours that don't directly ovelap his, and he can watch the his 2 year old when you are not there. Child care for the two year old is only you and hubby's problem.

Example: my husband starts VERY early, so I get kiddo off to school, then go to work, and he does after school caregiving. We don't really need it now, but we have not used child care since kiddo was maybe age 9. Are you SURE you'd need care for the 10 year old? Are there after school programs that can be utilized most afternoons? At age 10, might they be trusted to let themselves in (does the bus drop them off?) and go do their homework? Summers: school rec and park departments often have modestly priced camp/playground programs. There are also sports programs and day camps through the Y and religious organizations, Girl Scouts, Museum camps etc. I used a sprinking of a vriety of one and two week programs, including College for Kids at a local university and Band Camp at the Music Conservatory.

Depending on the nature of your work, you may be able to start early and leave a little early, or vice versa. Or hubby could.

You are also failing to calculate in any potential employer benefits, especially retirement savings (most people save way too little!), group life and disability, access to possible employer health care (what if something happened to hubby or hubby's job?), and income in the event something happens to husband's income. Failing to calculate the advantage of having Social Security disability credits, your own social security retirement benefits.

You are looking at only one aspect, and at a very limited view of that aspect. There are options to work and both generate full time incomes without needing full time child care for three kids. The schedules has a lot to do with it.

It doesn't really matter whether you get a job or not. From a child support standpoint.

What matters is that you have a conversation with your husband sooner, rather than later, and explain to him that YOUR legal matters with your ex and with regard to your first children are NOT his concern. He knew when he married you what the sitch was, and being upset about it now is not the best use of his time or energy.