What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA
I don’t know where to begin so I’ll just get started on this nightmare that has destroyed my life and my family. While working out of state (FL) I was raped, sexually assaulted or whatever the legal term is by a woman that resulted in pregnancy.
One night after a long day at work and finally getting a part of the construction project completed, I and some of the crew were at the apartment I shared with another crew member. We were talking about the job and we were drinking. At some point in the evening the rapist and another female who I know came by to hang out and chat with the group. I want to make it very clear that I did not invite the rapist in the apartment. I had seen her around a few times. We were not friends or anything of the sort. She was someone who lived in the complex. My roommate was very interested in her.
Well, I know myself and I knew I had too much to drink so I told the group that I was going to bed. When I stood up I knew I was in trouble so I just wanted to go to bed and go to sleep. On my way to my bedroom, I had to pass by the rapist at the table and she said let me help you to your room, which she did. I didn’t think anything about it. I was drunk and wanted to get in the bed. The group at this point was getting ready to leave as well. I remember her helping me in the room, me taking off my boots and me lying down in the bed and she closing the door. I was passed out. At some point, don’t ask me the timeframe because I couldn’t tell you, she came back in my room and raped me! How do I know this, well I remember snap shots of the rapist on top of me. I remember me trying to get up and her saying something like just lay down. I was in and out. Passing out frequently. The next morning I wake up with no boxers on and just a t-shirt. I immediately knew something bad happened. I felt sick to my stomach. I just knew something awful had taken place and I wasn’t able to stop it.
For days I tried to act as if nothing happened. It was like a dream. Not real. I did not see this person and when I did I told her don’t ever come around this apartment again. I told the rapist she was not allowed around the apartment. I told my roommate the same thing. If he wanted to see her, he would have to do it somewhere else. I have to live with not letting her know right there and then that she raped me. I was so filled with shame and embarrassment that I just acted as if it never happened. Wrong thing to do.
Several weeks later the other woman that was part of the group that night (the one I know) came by the apartment to tell me the rapist was pregnant and that it was mine. My world fell apart. The morning after she raped me I knew my life was over. She said no one needs to know. Again, I did not tell her that I was raped. It was not consensual. I was drunk and for some reason this woman thought it was ok to violate me like that and there was nothing I could do. I thought how did she arouse me, how did I ejaculate in her? I know there was nothing I could do about that either. I had no control over my body in that way. I was in a state where I could not control the situation. Believe me if I were sober she would not have been able to rape me.
Fast-forward…I was laid off and returned to GA. I had a heavy heart. My plan was to keep this awful secret from my wife, big mistake. On occasion the rapist would ask me for money and I would tell her I am laid off. She text me pictures of the child and I deleted immediately. Another opportunity for me to tell the rapist what she did to me and I did not say a word. At this point I am in real trouble. I call my dad and tell him what has happened. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. All I kept thinking about was to keep this a secret from my wife. I can’t lose her and my family over this. The rapist would say I want nothing from you then say I need money. The rapist was all over the place and I’m still not thinking straight. I should have said I’m going to the police immediately. If my mind was right, the morning after I was raped I should have gone to the police. I don’t know if they would have believed me or not, but that’s what I should have done.
Closing this awful story, the rapist tells me that FL law states you have to have a father listed on the birth certificate so the rapist sends me the documents and I sign them because the rapist says you sign I will leave you alone – you’ll never hear from me again. I know how stupid this was on my part, but you have to remember I’m in panic mode. I want this person out of my life. I don’t want my wife to find out so I am continuing to make bad decision after bad decision. I’ve still not dealt with the rape. The guilt is killing me. Of course she did not keep her word. While I was out of town doing odds and ends jobs, she sends my wife pictures of the child along with a copy of the birth certificate I signed and a letter. What an awful day for me and my wife. To have my wife go through this was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. My wife and I both suffered nervous break downs. We are separated now, but are trying to work things out. I see a counselor twice a week and it helps me tremendously. I finally was able to tell the rapist that she raped me. I have a text message from her saying well you didn’t tell me no. Wow!! I’m drunk and passed out and the rapist thought because I couldn’t say no meant yes! She also basically confessed to my wife what she did. She told her I’ve never done this before. It was her fault. Please save your marriage. She was hysterically crying. Apologizing over and over again.
My wife believes me now even though we are separated while she comes to grips with situation. We are currently looking for a marriage counselor to help us through this. I will continue to see my counselor because it has saved my life. I was suicidal for a while, but I’m ok now. I’ve come to grips with it being my fault because I put myself in a bad situation by drinking, but I never WILL say it’s my fault for being raped. Just because I was drinking does not mean I deserved to be violated.
The rapist started child support through the FL courts, but decided to dismiss. After contacting a lawyer, he told me to continue to pay what I can to the rapist until paternity is established. He said she has to come to GA to establish paternity since this is my legal residence is that correct? He also said that it is he says she says case and that if the child is mine from the heinous act I will have to pay child support, but he will provide the courts with a letter stating what transpired. He also said if it’s proven not to be my child I can request all monies back. What else can I do? Can I sue her in civil court? I will not be blackmailed or held hostage by this rapist any longer. Because I’m a man does not mean I don’t have rights. What she did was awful. I feel sorry for this child. The child is being raised by a rapist. It is not an option for me to see this child (if it’s mine) or have a part in its life. I will not do that to my wife or to me for that matter. My wife and the child suffer the most. I’m learning to forgive myself and hoping my wife can as well someday. Now I understand why most women never come forward on rape. It is a traumatic, frightening, awful thing. This rapist destroyed my life and for what? I never knew I could feel such pain. I’m a man and this woman (rapist) brought me to my knees.
Legally what are my options? I know there is no case in the United States where a woman has been convicted of raping a man. Or a man not having to pay child support for being raped by a woman. The rapist would not accept the money I was sending until recently. If she goes back to the courts I will fight for me and for my family.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I don’t know where to begin so I’ll just get started on this nightmare that has destroyed my life and my family. While working out of state (FL) I was raped, sexually assaulted or whatever the legal term is by a woman that resulted in pregnancy.
One night after a long day at work and finally getting a part of the construction project completed, I and some of the crew were at the apartment I shared with another crew member. We were talking about the job and we were drinking. At some point in the evening the rapist and another female who I know came by to hang out and chat with the group. I want to make it very clear that I did not invite the rapist in the apartment. I had seen her around a few times. We were not friends or anything of the sort. She was someone who lived in the complex. My roommate was very interested in her.
Well, I know myself and I knew I had too much to drink so I told the group that I was going to bed. When I stood up I knew I was in trouble so I just wanted to go to bed and go to sleep. On my way to my bedroom, I had to pass by the rapist at the table and she said let me help you to your room, which she did. I didn’t think anything about it. I was drunk and wanted to get in the bed. The group at this point was getting ready to leave as well. I remember her helping me in the room, me taking off my boots and me lying down in the bed and she closing the door. I was passed out. At some point, don’t ask me the timeframe because I couldn’t tell you, she came back in my room and raped me! How do I know this, well I remember snap shots of the rapist on top of me. I remember me trying to get up and her saying something like just lay down. I was in and out. Passing out frequently. The next morning I wake up with no boxers on and just a t-shirt. I immediately knew something bad happened. I felt sick to my stomach. I just knew something awful had taken place and I wasn’t able to stop it.
For days I tried to act as if nothing happened. It was like a dream. Not real. I did not see this person and when I did I told her don’t ever come around this apartment again. I told the rapist she was not allowed around the apartment. I told my roommate the same thing. If he wanted to see her, he would have to do it somewhere else. I have to live with not letting her know right there and then that she raped me. I was so filled with shame and embarrassment that I just acted as if it never happened. Wrong thing to do.
Several weeks later the other woman that was part of the group that night (the one I know) came by the apartment to tell me the rapist was pregnant and that it was mine. My world fell apart. The morning after she raped me I knew my life was over. She said no one needs to know. Again, I did not tell her that I was raped. It was not consensual. I was drunk and for some reason this woman thought it was ok to violate me like that and there was nothing I could do. I thought how did she arouse me, how did I ejaculate in her? I know there was nothing I could do about that either. I had no control over my body in that way. I was in a state where I could not control the situation. Believe me if I were sober she would not have been able to rape me.
Fast-forward…I was laid off and returned to GA. I had a heavy heart. My plan was to keep this awful secret from my wife, big mistake. On occasion the rapist would ask me for money and I would tell her I am laid off. She text me pictures of the child and I deleted immediately. Another opportunity for me to tell the rapist what she did to me and I did not say a word. At this point I am in real trouble. I call my dad and tell him what has happened. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. All I kept thinking about was to keep this a secret from my wife. I can’t lose her and my family over this. The rapist would say I want nothing from you then say I need money. The rapist was all over the place and I’m still not thinking straight. I should have said I’m going to the police immediately. If my mind was right, the morning after I was raped I should have gone to the police. I don’t know if they would have believed me or not, but that’s what I should have done.
Closing this awful story, the rapist tells me that FL law states you have to have a father listed on the birth certificate so the rapist sends me the documents and I sign them because the rapist says you sign I will leave you alone – you’ll never hear from me again. I know how stupid this was on my part, but you have to remember I’m in panic mode. I want this person out of my life. I don’t want my wife to find out so I am continuing to make bad decision after bad decision. I’ve still not dealt with the rape. The guilt is killing me. Of course she did not keep her word. While I was out of town doing odds and ends jobs, she sends my wife pictures of the child along with a copy of the birth certificate I signed and a letter. What an awful day for me and my wife. To have my wife go through this was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. My wife and I both suffered nervous break downs. We are separated now, but are trying to work things out. I see a counselor twice a week and it helps me tremendously. I finally was able to tell the rapist that she raped me. I have a text message from her saying well you didn’t tell me no. Wow!! I’m drunk and passed out and the rapist thought because I couldn’t say no meant yes! She also basically confessed to my wife what she did. She told her I’ve never done this before. It was her fault. Please save your marriage. She was hysterically crying. Apologizing over and over again.
My wife believes me now even though we are separated while she comes to grips with situation. We are currently looking for a marriage counselor to help us through this. I will continue to see my counselor because it has saved my life. I was suicidal for a while, but I’m ok now. I’ve come to grips with it being my fault because I put myself in a bad situation by drinking, but I never WILL say it’s my fault for being raped. Just because I was drinking does not mean I deserved to be violated.
The rapist started child support through the FL courts, but decided to dismiss. After contacting a lawyer, he told me to continue to pay what I can to the rapist until paternity is established. He said she has to come to GA to establish paternity since this is my legal residence is that correct? He also said that it is he says she says case and that if the child is mine from the heinous act I will have to pay child support, but he will provide the courts with a letter stating what transpired. He also said if it’s proven not to be my child I can request all monies back. What else can I do? Can I sue her in civil court? I will not be blackmailed or held hostage by this rapist any longer. Because I’m a man does not mean I don’t have rights. What she did was awful. I feel sorry for this child. The child is being raised by a rapist. It is not an option for me to see this child (if it’s mine) or have a part in its life. I will not do that to my wife or to me for that matter. My wife and the child suffer the most. I’m learning to forgive myself and hoping my wife can as well someday. Now I understand why most women never come forward on rape. It is a traumatic, frightening, awful thing. This rapist destroyed my life and for what? I never knew I could feel such pain. I’m a man and this woman (rapist) brought me to my knees.
Legally what are my options? I know there is no case in the United States where a woman has been convicted of raping a man. Or a man not having to pay child support for being raped by a woman. The rapist would not accept the money I was sending until recently. If she goes back to the courts I will fight for me and for my family.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
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